Can I Get A Minute Please? | ADHD Information

Can I get a minute please?

All I want is a minute, a minute of peace, of being alone, of complete silence!

My husband works second shift and I have been home with my sons (1 Moderate to Severe ADHD 1 not) since 4:30pm. I am going out of my ever living mind. I tried to walk on my treadmill and ended up getting off because my adhder absolutely needed me that minute (for absolutely nothing). I tried to lay down for 45 minutes and he kept coming in asking me nonsense questions so I just got up. I take food down to my husband on Friday nights and when I left I told my boys that I would be right back! I went to the food place and took the food to my husband. He gets lunch at 7:55 at 7:53 I got a call on my cell phone asking when I would be home, mind you I left at 7:35 (it takes all of 4 minutes for my husband to get to work). I said I am giving food to daddy and I will be right home. What do you need? He said Oh nothing I was just checking see ya when you get home bye.

I don't understand why he is constantly worried where I am, what I am doing but could care less to ask questions of his dad.

All I want is a day away (I know that sounds horrible). My mom takes the boys occasionally, but she works alot of hours and I hate to ask when she wants to enjoy her weekends just like I do. My mother in law doesn't bother to ask to take the boys or see the boys so there is no asking her.

Its almost 10pm here and he is saying he is going to lay down and that I should get some rest to (thought that was what I trying to do earlier). I swear I live to his time schedule.

Ok that was a vent session I know. I guess I should be thankful I get to get time on my computer. Of course he has to be right on top of me when I am on it. He asks what I am typing, who am I talking to etc. You all know its a zillion questions. Sometimes I think that he has a quota of questions to ask per day.

I am going to go "get some rest" as he would say. Have a good evening and thanks for the ear  

You're not horrible!  There have been evenings where it's 10pm and I tell ds that he needs to go in his room and stay there even if he doesn't go to sleep because now is my time!  Find a way to get some time to yourself (I've threatened to lock ds in a trunk!) and unwind.  I never would lock my ds into a trunk, but he knows when I make extreme threats like that I'm serious about him listening and doing as I ask.  HTH!

Mariaven pamper yourself a little. This kind of thing is necessary, moreover when we are dealing with adhd kids.

You could not have said it any better.  There are days I am anxious to get to work just to get away from home.  Sounds horrible huh?  But when you spend so much time with an adhd child a little pampering is a necessity and when you get done and are more relaxed you find you enjoy your child a little more.  Of course when it wears off ......  Good luck  jodie

Yes, you have to find a way to have a rest and escape for a little. Thanksfully my ds enjoys to play alone a lot; my nightmare with him comes with the schoolwork he has to do at home. Once I had the chance to go away for a week, I left the kids with my mom and an aunt, You don't know how good it was for me; I feel that I came back full of energy. So a week, is probably too long, but at least try to arrange somebody to take care of him for a day, and pamper yourself a little. This kind of thing is necessary, moreover when we are dealing with adhd kids. It is also a good idea to do something for you when your ds is at school. Sometimes I go with a friend to have coffee and talk, some other times I just take a long ride with my favorite music on (oops!!!, I just came back to edit this suggestion; gasoline here is not expensive at all,  so this is why I go take long rides). I have found these things recharge my batteries a lot. Mariaven39137.2069444444You need to find a sitter, or put them in an all-day camp so you can get some me-time. Everybody needs time to recoup and regenerate--there's no need to be a martyr!!I also tell him that when he turns 18 I'm going to change the locks!  If he stubs his toe and carries on too much, I get the meat cleaver out and tell him that after I cut it off, the toe won't hurt anymore.  I routinely threaten to cut off his head, strangle him and hang him up by his feet.  He squeals as if in pain and then he laughs.  He knows how much I love him and that I'd do anything to help him grow up to be a happy, responsible adult.  Nobody's going to call Child Protective Services on me?  

MaxedOut- buy yourself a set of headphones, lock yourself in the bathroom and hope he pounds on the door in time with the music.  I'm still trying to figure out how to escape my "barnacle" child- and she isn't even the one with ADHD!

Susieb- locking him in a trunk

I have a home daycare and I'm required to have locks on the outside of the bedroom doors because they are not included in the licensed areas of my home.  Talk about temptation.

how funny! 

Yes I feel that way too sometimes. It isn't wrong you just need a break.  A well deserved break.  When you are running on empty you need to recharge.  Get a babysitter or definitely tell them you need some time alone and tell them they can watch a movie or go play something but to leave you alone for 30 min or so.  I am guilty of these feelings also because I work full time, commute 3-4 hours a day and want to come home and relax and instead have 1-2 hours of homework to finish with my boys. I have my own business on the side and never get time to work on it because I feel guilty if I do. 

But I try to take time to me every 2 weeks one night a weekend (like Sat night) for being alone (not with friends or family) but to me!  just me, whether going to Barnes and Noble or Starbucks or upstairs to read.

Well I sorta took your advise -I got my hair done on Sunday and then tanning. It was kind of a recharge after the long week. Of course then my husband tells me that they told him he is going to be laid off. I hate to say it but sometimes I welcome that so he can be the one to take care of him in the afternoon when he is ready to take on the world. I know we need him to work but just the thought of him being home with him after I get home from work is welcoming.

I also do walk 2 miles on my treadmill (i try daily) and that recharges me-makes me feel better about myself. Thanks for the support