Teacher issues | ADHD Information

I am happy to say my child is doing better in his regular classroom and with his teacher. He has had a few incidents with her but she seems to have it in control better now. She calls me daily and we discuss my sons behavior and whether he had a good or bad day in class. He seems to have transferred his "bothering" mis-behavior to his other classes like art,gym and music. He has these classes maybe twice a week so I am thinking of doing some suprise visits so he knows mom is "around"....Luckily I am able to go to his school since I am at home and I can be more involved. Like Bethann said many of his behaviors come from frustration and his immaturity. I would also first try having him moved to another teacher. If this is denied, then I would go to a teacher's website and print out materials explaining how to manage an ADHD child in the classroom and give it to the teacher. I would also go to the school psychologist and ask him/her to give the teacher guidance on managing a child with this type of disorder. She needs help if he has to stay there.And she is bound to have future students like this....she needs training in resolving these issues for future reference.I am always floored by teachers who are shocked by our children. Maybe because I am so used to the ADHD "energy"? I don't know.

Our kindergarten teacher was brand new and very disorganized, so you might guess that was a disaster for DS. First grade brought the cruel teacher, and DS is still recovering from her a year later.

I remember school quite fondly, and now I wonder how many of my classmates with differences suffered like DS did. Or were teachers more resourceful (more supported by systems with more $$ and less pressure than we have now?) or is it just my shifting perspective? Hmmm.

Anyway, FWIW, we are homeschooling this year and it's a BLAST. Way easier than fighting the system and he's learning more.
I say they need to better train the teachers that would solve many of problems. Thanks for your input everyone. I am definitely taking all feedback seirously and will definitely not sit by anymore and watch all this craziness happen. Just wanted to add that my sons Kindergarten was a nightmare for him and all the other little boys in his class.  She would even refer to them as her "wild boys".  She was very young and in many other ways heading towards being a great teacher someday, so I offered to volunteer in the class a few hours a week.  I found this very helpful for myself to analyze my sons behavior, especially his inability to focus.  True, the class was out of control a little bit, but there were certainly times when "everyone else" was able to concentrate on the story, craft, etc and my son was the instigator -- it was sad to watch, but I think it helped us understand what he was going through.  First grade didn't start off so well, so we tried meds again and have had AWESOME results -- honor roll and student of the month!!  You cannot imagine what this did for his self esteem.  My advice would be to try and get into the classroom and see for yourself.

Is it possible to change his teacher this late in the school year?

My son had a teacher in preschool who sounds like yours. We were not diagnosed but had sensory and speech stuff and was at a integrated school where children with disabilities attend. She could not deal with my son, was often cruel to him about his speech disability, which they denied him services and he could barely be understood, etc. She had her masters in this field but was just not cut out for it. She actually liked the "model" children best because she didn't have to deal with them!

I actually had mothers tell how cruel this teacher was to mine! You need to talk to this teacher, if not the principal. If she is treating your son unfairly, she needs to be spoken to. If she cannot handle your son, then special accomodations need to be added for YOUR son's sake.

Your son is there to learn and the school needs to make that happen. Maybe this will help for an IEP or 504!

Do you have plans for an evaluation? My son is 9 now, but was acurately diagnosed just before he turned 5. I personally diagnosed him before 3!

We have had some tough teachers for all sorts of reasons, but EVERY time we go over after sending a note and whip things into shape! And he is VERY successful academically at this stage.

Stay on top of this teacher, even go to her boss, if things don't SEEM right to you-always go with your gut, it is a mother's intuition!!

Regards!

Beth

MY son's kindergarten teacher couldn't handle him either.  After most of the year they switched teachers for the classroom and he did better.  I don't know why they switched but my son wasn't the only reason.    I would get an evaluation at school a iep would help him there.  But I would also find some education material to send to your teacher on adhd and tell her that it might help and talk to to her about him.  It is hard not to take their behavior as personal and realize they can't help some of the things they do.  Also, if my son realizes he has some kind of "power" or can walk all over the teacher he doesn't listen.I agree with Bethann and get the child moved to  different teacher.....I think a fresh start with someone different might just be what your child needs.My son is in Kindergarten and has not been diagnosed with ADHD as of yet. Next week we see the doc to get her advice about psychologist/neurologist for him. Anyway, it seems that his teacher has never had a child like my ds and is having a lot of trouble dealing with his outbursts and such. She thinks he is "out to get her" I've been told. It's hard for me not to laugh at that but at this point it seems like a lot of his difficulties revolve around her. She seems to have no idea with how to deal with him and I think she actually has made him the way he is towards her. She is not the matronly type at all, seems to get easily frustrated,ignores him, or maybe just plain doesn't like him....I was wondering what you all would do in a situation like this? I don't want her to have a nervous breakdown but I also don't want my child being left by the wayside because of her inabilities and fears. It seems like a power thing going on between the two...

Hi all, My daughters first year of school was a nightmare. She was diagnosed adhd towards the end of that first year. Her teacher had no idea how to deal with a child like her. She could not remain seated and followed the teacher around all day. I would find her sitting outside the classroom on the mat in the hot sun many times when I would arrive to pick her up after school, or her name being called out for some horrible offence. Not to mention after school detention for running through the girls toilets. She had help the cleaner clean them. She was only five. After her teacher suggested I try a blood tonic I said no thanks, I will be going to the top of the food chain, the paediatrician. We decided to medicate and change schools. Her new teacher said that she seemed just like any other little girl in her class. She is now in grade 5 and we have had many hiccups along the way. She does have learning difficulties, but behaviourally she is doing well. Unfortunately if the teacher is happy the child is happy.

 

flick0439145.9023611111Yes, that makes sense and would be nice if my son stayed in this school but the school he goes to now is only for 1rst and second grade. After second they are transferred to another school which is for 2-4 grade so I will have to go through the process all again since these will be all new people! I am hoping I will run into some understanding people like some of the ones at his current school. It is frustrating knowing that...but like all of you I know I will be able to do it for my sons sake. Does anyone have a suggestion for controlling anger? My son likes to rip things when he gets frustrated and upset and I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions that he could be given to depress his anger before he does impulsive things like start crying or ripping things..We tried to tell him to squeeze his hands together or count to ten but that doesn't seem to be working too well. you know kewood I was thinking the same thing myself-volunteering in the classroom that is. This teacher likes her projects but I really think some of them are a little advanced for kindergarten...I remember when I was in K and we just painted and took naps. In my sons class they have word lists to learn, able to write 1-100 and other things to be done by the end of the school year. My son can do these things now with my help and working with him at home. She basically says here, now do this without any formal type of instruction. I keep thinking to myself, lady, you must be crazy I have volunteered a couple of times with special holiday functions but I feel maybe I should do it more often. She isn't the type that seems to like to ask for help, until now when she has totally lost control, oh well, Guess I must stand up and be the bigger person here. I really can't wait till this year is over. Did I forget to mention she is getting married this summer?? I feel that that is her main priority at the moment and not her children, it really saddens me.... Not only do you learn a lot by volunteering at school about the way things work, but for me it kind of has helped me for years afterwards at the school....it has been since Chase was in preschool that I last volunteered, but I am still a 'familiar' face at the school.  The teachers remember me and that I was there a lot for a time....somehow that makes them more willing to help me out with things I ask for as far as accommodations for Chase...hard to explain, but I feel it nonetheless....I guess it is creating good will..maybe.

Hi there mayhohun71!

I know that my son gets FRUSTRATED, but could look to some like anger. He has a perfectionist side to him!

Could your son be frustrated maybe instead of angry?

I find that my ds gets frustrated at his sister and his games mainly. We do a lot of talking, which he likes. I also talk about it the next day.

For example, Friday night he was getting frustrated at not being able to complete something on a game on the computer and was "taking" it out on the rest of us. He was spoken to that night, however, Saturday morning he was laying in bed with me watching tv and I brought it up. He very calmly told me what was bothering him, the game and that he couldn't do something. I told him I knew that and he needed to not let it get him so frustrated. 

I know my son, he likes it when we talk like that. It works for us! Oh, and he is 9.

Regards!

Beth

Yes, get in the room and watch it.  Your his parent.   and then complain complain , switch teachers or even schools.

THIS IS SO UNFAIR.   And why is it always towards the boys?     TEACHER'S NEVER HAD BOYS BEFORE?