I know I am overreacting, but I am sitting here at work biting back the tears....
A little background, I am a CPA and it is tax season, which means I am working a lot of hours, and am not home much. It is a very difficult time of the year for our family, esp when dealing with ADHD issues. But, we are managing ok.
It is VERY difficult for me to be away from my children this much, and I am very sensitive about it.
I was talking with dh at lunch and he said "Sometimes I think it is better for M if you aren't home". Now....I know what he means - M pushes my buttons more, it is very hard if I get home 1/2 hour before bed because then the kids get all excited to see me, M knows how to play on my guilty feelings, etc.
But it HURT...then he got upset with me because I should have known better than to take the comment literally, and I should have known that he meant all of the things I just outlined. But it still hurts.
That was a rotten thing to say to someone you love. I'm sure he's just feeling the pressure of you being gone so much and was refering to the disruption in schedule. That doesn't make it less hurtful though. I'd let him know, in as calm a way as possible, how much that hurt you and try to help him understand how guilty you already feel. There's no reason in the world for him to add to that.
My husband has said similar things to me on different / various occasions.
I understand your hurt.
I am on the other side at times for my husband is never around to help me and when he is home both child and spouse are alike and do not mix well. H has a low tolerance for our child and she knows it. I would never say anything hurtful however and I do appreciate any help I can get.