Does gender make a difference... | ADHD Information

 

Funny that this was brought up tonight.... my ex and I were just discussing something related to this topic.

In my case my son responds to me better than his dad. We probably butt heads a little more because I try to be his parent first and then friend.  I am more consistent and set expectations.  My ex tries to be a friend and he is finding out that our son will run all over him.  He just tonight mentioned to me on the phone that he was going to have to work on this with our son.  I hope that he is sincere for both his sake and my son's. 

I'm very fortunate to have a son that tries to be very respectful to both females and males thus far. He is only five so I guess I could see things change in the future. Although he responds well to both my brother and sis-in-law when they are around as well as my parents.  He responds pretty much equally to both groups. He has his difficult times and he can be very defiant but in general he is a pretty good kid. 

My kids definately respond better to me than my husband (their father.)  I have found in school, however, my ds does much better with males.  Their father of course, is the jokster and not a strong displinarian!I've noticed that my children respond better to a male than they will a female and that goes for me too. My sons will respond quicker and easier to their father or other male figure than they will be or my mother. Do you all notice this gender difference? Often times I am blamed for not being 'firm' enough, but honestly I think it's just that a male is more intimidating. What do you guys think?

I do think that my kids respond a tad bit better to my husband than to me....but it is a close thing.  That being said....I have had to be the disciplinarian a lot in my children's lives, because my husband has been running our business since the oldest was 2.  He has to work long hours, and I am not the type to use the "Wait till your father gets home" line....so I have had to be the last word here...and have learned to be firm over the years, so I may be a different circumstance than some other moms out there.

They probably would respond better to other males too, I guess, but as a rule, they respond well to direction by most adults that they encounter.

I have not really paid attention as to who my girls listen to better, Dad or me. I have noticed, however, that they will walk right past dad to ask me for a drink of water, a question about the schedule, etc. On a recent family vacation, my  hubbie was driving and the girls were driving me nuts with requests. I told my husband to pull over so that I could drive and get a rest. He promptly did but the moment I started driving, the girls fell asleep. In the car when it's both of us all I hear is "mom, mom, mom." And they love their father dearly! We tag team (he does mornings while I am at work, then when I come home he goes to work.) So it is not like they never get to see him. Ironically, he is the one to most likely drop everything to meet their requests. I, on the other hand, am more likely to make them wait until I have completed whatever it is that I am working on.  

I think my kids respond better to my husband than they do me. Part of the reason, is because I am always here. I am also more firm with them. My husband then swoops in as the fun hero, and I look like the wicked mommy. Honestly, it's started causing us some problems. My son responds to women better than men. This is because I am the disciplinarian for the most part. Dad wants to be the fun guy.

My children responds better to me than my husband, though they love their father dearly.

I am the one who is more consistent, structured, routined, etc. They also know how much I stand up them, especially my ADHD son, who needed supporting at school over previous issues. Dad is awesome in this department as well

Dad, who is adhd, seems to react before he thinks, then ends up apologizing and regretting what he did/said.

I think it's just based on who is the disciplinarian in the family situation. My husband and I just had this conversation last night, only in reverse!!  My son listens to me so much better than my husband. He loves my husband and he is the playmate of choice, but when my husnand tucks him in at night, there are always issues.  Lots of calling us, needing drinks, "just one more question".  When I put him to bed, he's in bed and asleep within 30 minutes. In the morning he gets dressed well, eats breakfast, gets ready for the bus really well if Daddy is already gone to work. If daddy is home, no way. "Dad, in Runequest, at that part...." "Dad, can you do this with your tongue?" "Dad, what's your favorite Spongebob?" AAAGGGHHHH!!!!  My five year old son responds better to males.  He has a problem with female authority.

 

In my case it's probably my fault that he listens to me better than my husband - his father. I tend to step in alot when my husband is trying to discipline him. It's not that i don't trust him, but I'm with my son much more so I know how to handle it and my hubby tends to sweat the small stuff and then I have to step in to clean up his mess! But he's also good at trying his hardest to keep his calm if he can see that I'm having a bad day and about to blow cuz I'm soooooo annoyed. But I have to be obviously stressed in that case. It's all so hard cuz he doesn't listen to anyone. The better he knows you the more likely he'll test you and fight with you. That makes it extra hard to have anyone watch him - but that's probably me worrying about it more than anything would actually happen. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I just get so upset sometimes! Sorry!

 

Yes the kids respond to the voice.  With me my words mean little, although I know they love me.  But they will definately tow the line much quicker and better with the male figure.  This is normal ,I think in any family situation.  Sometimes it hurts me, but I know with all the love I give and disapline, that in the end they really just want there mommys.  Hopefully the pay back is in adulthoodI think, in general, kids tend to respond to males a little better.  I think it has to do with the deeper voice and the male tendancy to be very direct and to the point.