Hi everyone!

Hi everyone!

It's nice to know I am not alone!

First time posting here and just want to say hi!

I am 43 now and with add (formally adhd but lost the H in my 20's) I am classic add and severe case since early childhood. Untreated until early 30's, then denial, now recently diagnosed with bipolar...Wow $240 for a 20 minute shrink session to ask me 5 basic questions, ignore the ADD (not his specialty) and prescribe me lithium and wellbrutin, which I tried (I am desperate) but did nothing positive for me! 2 weeks later I quit (I hated how I felt on that) I have an appt. next weds and told doc if he won't pusue the concept that he has misdiagnosed me and treat me for ADD then I will not return. We will see Weds?

I tried the ritilan years ago but was fairly street drug heavy at the time and only got my motor going! Things have changed since then and want to try again.

Really, I like the way my brain works (I have a steady flow of wonderful ideas) but don't function well in this society. I can't stay focused, I have been through hundreds of job changes, moved all over the country on a whim!

I am capable of so many things. I can play guitar, write lyrics, take an engine apart and put it back together (takes me 3 times as long as the average mechanic though) but on a good day regarding diagnostics I can blow them all away! I am self taught HTML, know some java and php. I built many an awesome website but destroyed them all after loosing interest in the last to go to the next. Changing ideas daily! Basically there is nothing I cannot figure out when interested but always loose focus in time. I can do anything, but what I see most everyone else doing easy, like balancing a checkbook (I can do that for 1 or 2 days, maybe) or paying bills on time, or holding a job, or remembering an birthday, appointment etc. etc. I cannot do!

It is so frustrating to be so gifted but such a failure! I am looking for answers and maybe I can find some here.

More later, take care,

Don

Really, I like the way my brain works (I have a steady flow of wonderful ideas) but don't function well in this society. [/quote]

I can totally relate.

That's the upside of having a funky brain. I wouldn't change it if i could.  The key is to 'practice' managing your time etc. EVERY day.

It's not easy as you know, but it can bemanaged for sure.

I'm 38 and was diagnosed 3 years ago. What a trip it's been. adderall has been a godsend for me. I started playing the guitar 2 years ago even though i've wanted to play one sice i was 5 years old, i could never understand the chords etc. With the help of the drugs, i have the patience to figure it out.

[QUOTE=understimulated] It is so frusterating to be so gifted but such a failure! I am looking for answers and maybe I can find some here.

More later, take care,

Don

[/QUOTE]

naw man.. you gotta focus(i know i know.. ) on the positive aspects. With a normal head you may not be able to have all of those skills at all.

How'd your office visit go?

I'm new here too.. and i'm glad i found this place.

[/QUOTE]

With a normal head you may not be able to have all of those skills at all. [/QUOTE]

I agree with you, "I wouldn't want to change my brain at all" but not having a "normal head" can be frustrating at times. I have had so many job changes, failed business ventures (not following through) and incompleted projects etc. It's getting to the point that I am afraid to even try again. What used to be, and what I thought was eternal optimism has diminished over the last few years. I guess the bottom line is just money and how to get it. If I had enough of it I guess I would be a happy camper, but I don't have enough, and feel the task of a normal job and earning money just to pay bills is very boring! I need to get past the pressures of just trying to survive and move on to something bigger, better and more interesting...ya know, put money issues aside and focus on more creative endeavors.

About the doctor, what a joke he is!

He doesn't do the "adhd thing" but refered me to someone who does becaused he could see that I was pissed off at him, and I told him he was wrong about bi polar diagnosis and that I would not be taking lithium. I told him I was certain of my adhd diagnosis and that although I kind of liked the wellbutrin I thought that I needed something more like ritilin, adderall or dexidrine. His secretary had told me on the phone that this time he would address ADD but then in his office he say's he does not prescribe those types of meds. What a huge waste of money and time! I have procrastinated on even calling this new doctor for an appointment and just continue to self medicate with alcohol, cigarettes, MJ, and an occasional "whatever". My brain has always been "understimulated" and feel that the low dose meth approach might be the best for me. My only fear is that I might take a higher dose than prescribed or take alot at once if I felt compelled on that day.

I have never been truley addicted to speed in my life because on the occasions that I would get some, I would get so high and use it all, and then that come down was hell and I would back off it for months or years, but I never experienced taking low doses on a daily basis for any real lenth of time. I think I should try it! I would like to quit smoking and drinking if I could get on a program that worked.

I hope it helps me if I do follow through on this and I am glad to hear that adderall is working for you.

Thanks for your reply,

Don