The Breakdown | ADHD Information

Wow, you are in a rough spot .

A lot of kids need more than just meds--behavioral therapy, an IEP at school, occupational therapy.........maybe the psychiatrist can give you some other ideas in addition to meds. Check out the marble thread at the top.

Hey everyone. I am in need of some encouragement. Here's my story: I am a 30yr old single mom of two. My son, 10, is an active sports-a-holic who loves his mom and sister very much. My daughter, about to be six, is an extremely talented artist who also loves her mom and brother very much. My daughter was diagnosed with ADHD at just three years old.I was very skeptical at that time about putting her on meds. We tried a very low dose of Focalin, which seemed to help, but then I chose to take her of meds and try modifying her diet. Well, right before Kindergarten I chose to start up the meds again. (Focalin XR 5mg) Things were better for about a week. We increased to 10 mg with a regular dose of Focalin 5mg around 3pm. The XR would not last all day due to her extremely fast metabolism. Her doctor then recommended a psychiatrist. After some moderate testing the Doctor was amazed. She asked me if I had given her her meds at all. She said that my daughter, on 10 mg Focalin XR was testing as someone with an extreme case of ADHD on no meds at all. We have since tried a higher dose of Focalin, Adderall, Daytrana, and now back to Focalin. My doc thinks it's to risky to try Staterra, or some of the other drugs at this time. She says they are wary of tring some of these drugs on younger children. We are due to go next week for more extensive testing. I am so lost. I have no one to turn to. I feel so exhausted and I am so tired of the yelling and screaming. I want some peace sooo bad. My daughter can be very impulsive and aggressive at times. She has scratched her brother's face up and she constantly hits him or kicks him. She has recently started hitting me. She can be very hateful to me and to her brother. (He gets very upset) She often yells at me and tells me she wants to live with her dad. (We recently got divorced and he now is engaged to a felon!!!!) He was always against her being on meds and just claims I don't know how to control her. Ha! He is not around her long enough to KNOW what is going on. I currently am on meds for depression and anxiety. Most of the time I feel like I could use a good dose of Valium. The mornings are horrible as I can't give her her meds until we are close to going to school. Weekends are hard also. I have to help with my paraplegic mom on the weekends and the grocery trips often end with my balling my eyes out.Sometimes I wish I just go to sleep and wake up and she would okay. I just want my little baby girl to be okay. Please someone help me. I feel like no one understands. I feel like I could have a breakdown daily. I am currently working full time, going back to school, attending baseball practices, and dance lessons. I don't get a free night all week. I feel like I am going to lose it at any moment.

Well I am sitting at my desk with horrible guilt this morning. I lost it this morning right before school. My son who is not ADHD was angry about not making it on time to school for sausage gravy and biscuts. It take s awhile to get my ADHD daughter ready in the AM and I also overslept. (Sleep deprivation will do that) My son was being mean and spiteful and I told him he could not talk to me that way. He uses the excuse that my daughter does. Even though he knows that it is still not acceptable. He is always coming up with excuses to behave badly because of my daughters ADHD. He will say she gets to do everything and he does not. AGHHHHHHHHHHH. I yelled at him and now I feel like a horrible mom. I just want peace. At leaset five minutes of peace. That's a lot to hope for I know.

How is it that I coan have such a wonderful teacher for my non-ADHD child and such a horrible teacher for my ADHD child. I called the school just because I felt so bad about how things went this morning. My son's teacher and I talked for awhile and she reassured me that my son was okay and she would let him know that I called to tell him I love him. (I do not like starting the day wthout lettong my kids know that) Why can't I have the same care and concern for my ADHD child??? My daughter's teacher refuses to communicate at all. Very aggrivating.

tHANKS ...i WILL DO MY RESEARCH today!!!! Really, thanks everyone. It feels so good to talk to other people that KNOW what you are going through.

Update...Just left a message with the Special Education avocate for my state of Alabama. Yeah!!! Thank you for opening a door I did not know was there. I know I haven't officially talked with the advocate yet, but at least I feel like it's progress. Any progress is better than no progress!

Hi Wonderwoman! As far as the school goes, if it's not in writing it did not happen. After you get a private evaluation, send a CERTIFIED letter to the principal requesting a Comprehensive Evaluation for Special Edcuation Services, and state you look forward to receiving their response within ___ days from the date of your letter. Enclose a copy of your private evaluation report. (Call you county's special education department and ask them how long the school has to respond to such a request for the number of days).

Thanks. I will make sure to do that. I am so looking forward to Thursday. (my daughter appointment) Not just for my sake but for hers. I want nothing more than for her to feel good about herself and about the work she performs.Thank you for the encouragement. I really appreciate it. I have talked to the school several times and I feel like I am fighting an uphill battle. I really don't feel very connected with my daughter's psychiatrist. She just gives me books to read...Like I haven't already read a million. I have searched locally for any kind of support group, there are none. I have even called her Pediatrician ( whom I love...he is wonderful) he couldn't give me any resources either. I am hopeful that our trip to a new Psychiatrist next week will shed some light on things. I think my daughter might have ODD as well, just through my own research. I am so frustrated with the school system right now it often makes me sick. I am still modifying her diet as well as a behavior modification technique Magic 123. (recommended by her psy)

HI Wonderwoman! I am so sorry you are having to go through this with your daughter.

I am just wondering if you could find a NEW doctor. The one you have doesn't seem to be that supportive by just advising you to read books. I have a pharmopsychiatrist, is that what your doctor's title is considered? This doctor has been so wonderful, he really knows the meds and the mixing of them.

Do you also maybe want to have her reevaluated since she is older? There may be another condition going on where the adhd meds get in the way of this "possible other" condition.

Because when you treat the adhd with the correct meds and dosage, things should be so much more successful for her.

I would revisit the diagnosis and reevaluate her. The medication should also be looked at. The medications could be making her angry and depressed.

Just my opinion.

Keep us posted!! And come here when you need us, you have a lot of support here!!

Beth

Thanks so much. I am already feeling so much better. Of course tomorrow morning things will be back to craziness.

We are going to see a new Doc next week. I called the Doc's office to see what the visit will consist of. I know that she will be re-evaluated and tested more extensively. I have just been so overwhelmed lately. And, most of all tired of the screaming and yelling. I was reading a thread earlier about dinginess. My daughter will do this after an episode of yelling and screaming. The larger the fit the clingier she is. I think that part of it is rebound from meds but I definitely think she might have ODD as well. I will be so happy when we get the results from the test. We haven't completed homework now in about 3 weeks....but seeing as her teacher will not communicate I am at a loss for what to do there.

Anyway, I have tried to talk to my daughter's school counselor and she acts like she does not know what I am talking about. I mention a 504/IEP and she acted like I was speaking a foriegn language. I know for a fact that she does because I know other kids that have had one. Very frustrating!!!!!!

Have you called the special education coordinater at your school? If the school won't speak with you about it, call an education advocate. I think I went to schwablearning.org, and clicked around a bit, and found a page where you could find the advocate for your area. Complete with phone numbers and addresses. An advocate could tell you the steps you need to take. ADHD is a disability, and accommodations must be made so your child can succeed to the best of her ability with that disability in the least restrictive environment. Mention I.D.E.A. to them.....it is the law.

Wow, you need a break. Sometimes we can't do that, though, so I guess it's time to prioritize. I mean, take a deep breath and think,"What do we need to do to live?" Just live, not whip the world. If all of that is manageable, what activities can you add that would be good for all of you? All the rest, let go. If you don't do X, will your world crumble? Will your children be scarred forever? Probably not. Keep it simple, as stress-free as you can.

As for your daughter's diagnosis, I hope that you are able to persevere until you find a workable answer. It's such a difficult thing, especially when it isn't an easy fix, which our medical community tends to prefer. There are often so many othet things that can go hand-in-hand with adhd, or even be misdiagnosed as adhd. Has your doctor explored bi-polar or odd? Good luck to you, I hope that you can find a place of inner peace that let's you tighten the circle around you and your kids and make that a place of solidarity.

{{{{ BIG HUGS }}}}
Trying to find the right diagnosis and meds can be VERY, VERY trying and anxiety-producing, as you are experiencing. Keep trying to focus on the positive. Congrats that you got help for yourself BTW. That's a good step in the right direction. Get a little exercise. Keep trying to make steps in the right direction. This is a slowwww process, it's a marathon. You can do it!!!

Since your daughter has a diagnosis, have you looked into a 504/IEP for her at school? With either of these plans in place, accommodations can be made in areas where she struggles, both behaviorally and academically. Things like homework reduction...doing every other problem rather than all 15....scribing for her if writing is a huge issue...

When you get her tested at the new doctor, ask them to make a list of accommodations that would help your daughter's particular issues for you to take to the school for their implementation.

Funny how I got a mysterious call late in the afternoon from my daughter's schools counselor. She just couldn't stop talking about how to accommodate me and my daughter. (I went ahead and called the Dr we will be seeing on Thurs. and she contacted the school) The school consoler went on and on about how busy she has been. Hmmmm!!! I said well I am so sorry that your YEAR has been so busy. You know, you really must have it tough. Me on the other hand, I have plenty of time. Time to call you every week about the wellbeing of my daughter while not receiving a word or response from you at all, while maintaining a full time job with no support, while going to baseball practice, dance lessons, and attending school for my education oh and also helping with my handicap mother. Yeah I have PLENTY of time to wait on you to call me. Why don't you get back to me when you aren't so BUSY!!!!! I am not trying to down the school personnel or anything but GESHHHHH. Why don't you save your excuses for someone who cares!!! Sorry had to vent! Well we went for my daughters evaluation with the psychotherapist today. All went well. I didn't know that it would be a four part deal though. We go for the testing next week. I am so exhausted. Running here and there. This doctor and that doctor. I think my boss gets aggravated at times, but I have no one else to take her (who would know the situation better than me anyway). I make up the time I miss. My boss has a husband that helps her. It's so not fair sometimes. I am so stressed. My eyes are twitching. AGHHHHHH Where is Jimmy Buffet? I think I need to visit Margaritaville SOON! ;) Thanks chasesmom79. Yeah it shouldn't have taken that long but maybe now we can get things rollin! I really appreciate the support.

Nothing happened at my school until I got an advocate. They gave my son an IEP that included no services. They even ignored my 00 neuro-psyche evaluation that included many recommendations for services and classroom accommodations. Once the advocate entered the picture there was this HUGE flurry of activity. They also stopped spending IEP meetings doing nothing but delivering negative information to me.

Well tomorrow morning is the big day. We ar eheaded to a new Phsycotherapist. Hopefully we can get things moving in the right direction. I am so excited. I want my daughter to be healthy and happy and not so frustrated.

It is too bad that it took a phone call from someone else to get the counselor off her butt! A mother should be important enough to get their attention.

I am lucky that in my school, my word was enough, the special ed coordinator, the teachers and the principal all respond to me immediately....a call back the same day never fail.

Good luck, it is too bad that it has taken all year. But I love the way you told her off...that was priceless!

Thanks noTellin. I did contact my state advocate. She recommended I try the special education coordinator in my county. She said if I didn't get help there to please let her know and she would make it happen. Yeah I finally feel like someone is on my side. You know what angers me is that they act like our children are no big deal or they are these huge inconveniences but let one of their own personal children have problems and it would be a whole new story.