Hi. I agree with Bethann. My son is now 14 but back in first grade his experience was much the same as you describe. Further complicating things for us was the fact my son had an auditory processing disorder, which has symptoms which mimic ADHD in many ways.
Go with your mother's gut here. You have red flags being waved in your face with this situation. I wish, in hindsight, we had medicated sooner...but I dreaded facing that decision back then. The problem is that many ADHD kids at age 6, especially if they are highly intelligent, can cope with the academics at that point. As things get harder each year, they start floundering. Then they run a very high risk of social isolation, anxiety, depression....etc.
I agree that you really need to seek out an independent evaluation.
Okiemom
amy
why not try him with swimming or running where he cant do a whole lot of damage and he can be in his own head with his own thoughts without a whole lot of instruction.
i played golf when i was a kid and am now a pro, it was a single minded thing and i taught myself pretty much until i was about 25.
i reckon just get him doing something that has less framework set up around it.
HI Amy1030, your description of your son reminds me of my son before medication. My son WAS diagnosed just before turning 5, however, my husband and I were afraid of meds.
Our son was always able to keep up academically, however, his impulsive tendencies landed him in trouble, as well as being labeled by other kids and staff. The kids picked up on it and ran. They started blaming him for things they were doing.
We found the older he got, the worse his impulsiveness and hyperactivity became. We are truly greatful to have found the right medication and dosage for him. It has truly saved his life!
I would make an appointment for an evaluation. This way you will know either way. If he has it, there are a number of way you can help make his day more successful. If he doesn't have it, then he is just an active boy.
This way you will know.
Regards,
Beth
My son is 6 years old and does not have a diagnosis... yet. He seems to have impulsivity with hyperactiveness type. I have had concerns about him for several years, but my pediatrician has until this year just said "oh he's just an energetic (enter age here) boy." His teachers have been expressing concerns since he was 3 about his ability to sit and focus on any activity for even very short amounts of time (of course as he got older we also had the other extreme of hyperfocusing and throwing tantrums when cued to leave an activity he felt he was not finished with). He entered a full day Kindergarten this past September and we did have a team meeting early in the year as his pre-school teachers had advised me to refer him for evaluation the spring before. His evaluations all came back fine academically, but every evaluator in the room all said discuss these results with your pediatrician. They all said without actually saying it that he most likely has adhd, which I had long suspected anyway.
Anyway, I did make an appointment and discussed it with her. Now I just don't know if I am jumping the gun or if she needs to be more proactive. She said well he's performing fine academically so its just the teacher's job to figure out how to deal with the behaviors. Now as a parent and a special educator I can understand that as a teacher part of the job is to deal with many kinds of behavior problems and keep the children involved in the actvites of the day. And I can honestly say I believe he has a great teacher who has not once said to me a single word about going back to the docotor about medication yet and really does try to keep his behaviors in check. However, that said every day when I pick him up I get the very nicely worded chat about how "active" he's been that day. In fact since we have come back from the Christmas break I think every week has been termed an "active" week. And yes I have point blank asked her if I should go back to the pediatrician yet, and she has said no that he's doing fine academically (which was the condition my pediatrician was looking for before going forward with any diagnosis). He does continue to keep up academically (and it seems to be a challenging curriculum). He brings home 5 or 6 papers everyday and has homework 4 nights of the week. He is reading and can complete simple math addition sentences.
In addition to the increased activity in school I feel like I am about at my wits end at home dealing with home behavior and how he's doing in school. Being a special needs teacher with a background based in behavioral psychology I feel like I am failing him and turing into a complete shrew of a mother. I have tried everything I can think of and nothing is working anymore. I have tried immediate and long term reinforcement of appropriate behaviors. We have discussed and tried to implement STAR program (Stop, Think, Act, Review). I also have begun having him do some yoga which he really seems to love. I have tried consequencing inappropriate behaviors. Just to name a few of the things I have tried with him. When we talk he is generally able to understand that the things he is doing (taking off his shoes and putting his feet on the table, crawling under the tables, swinging his sweater around the classroom, running in the hall, not following directions, etc) are not good choices to be making. And everyday he promises me that he will do better listening to the teahers and to me and his dad, and everyday we have the same battles over and over again.
I have tried to involve him in sports over the years to help give him an outlet for his energy. We did swimming lesson at the Y which went so-so. We tried soccer which he swears he loves, but whenever we went to practices or the games he was always wandering off the field and generally not even playing. We are going to try T-ball, though my hopes aren't too high as we have gone to some pre-season practices and he had some problems staying focused on the activity. Today I took him to a karate class to see if this might be the activity for him. In watching the class I had many concerns about his ability to listen to the instructor (almost non-existent) and the resulting safety issues that would cause. I left not knowing if we will even be going back to the second intro course, as I need to speak to the instructor and he wasn't available after class.
I just don't know what else to do. I really feel like this is beginning to affect him throughout all aspects of his life. I worry that he will eventually be considered a problem child. As of now he has many friends, most of whom seem to be good kids who set good examples for him, but I worry that some day he will lose those friends because he will get them into trouble with his antics. I want to continue with behavioral options, but should I be pressing my pediatrician for a diagnosis and other options like medication?
Thanks for listening to my rant.
-Amy
Amy,
My son sounds a lot like yours too. My son just turned 5 and isn't in school yet. I'm hoping not to have to medicate and am currently utilizing many of the methods in the alternative remedies section. Maybe some of it will help you?
Thanks for all the support. Even though I know that I am not the only one going through this kind of thing it helps to hear from you all. I'm not completely opposed to the medication route. I took an excellent class on ADHD while completing my M.Ed. It really opened my eyes to how these many kids feel medicated versus non-medicated. The teacher's teenage son had ADHD and she was able to share with us how he felt about taking medication and the difference it made in his life. Though I do have concerns about the side-effects of the medications, and with starting them so young and what they may do to his body over time. I just know that my pediatrician is generally opposed to medicating for it if she can at all avoid it. She told me her kids were ADD when they were little but she didn't medicate because it's the teacher's job to deal with the behaviors. She will refer me to a pediatric neurologist if I really want her to, but it's not her first choice.
I am going to check out the alternative remedies section to see what suggestions they have. I almost want to press my pediatrician to diagnose if he indeed does have it because I would like to have a 504 plan for him so that he can have some accomodations in class and not lose recess as one of his consequences like the rest of the class. I definitely think he needs a consequence for his behavior but if he loses recess that is only compounding the problem as he is not able to expend some of energy in an appropriate way.
I am very glad I found this place. From everything I have read so far it is a very supportive group of people. Thank you all. -Amy
Amy010339162.3688888889
I would like to chime in and say welcome!!
I would also like to encourage you to at least get your son tested and find out what you are dealing with and what options you have. It sounds like academically he is doing ok, but I am wondering how he is doing socially if he is very active and impulsive - that was really what moved us to take our son in. He was coping with his inability to focus in the only way he knew how - he would act out to create a diversion and thus be removed from the situation that he couldn't deal with.
So, his school friends began to shy away from him because they never knew what he was going to do next!!
Keep us posted.
Amy,
What you describe reminds me of my son in many ways. He is 7 1/2 and just started meds about a month ago. I was afraid to medicate in a way, and waited until he was too disruptive in class. I was lucky and my ped did extensive testing herself and it showed mod to severe ADHD no suprise there, I knew it since he was very young. He will be having neuropysch testing also. But he is on meds now and what a difference it is. I honestly wish I would of had him tested sooner now. Academically he did outstanding in kindergarden. His grades dropped in 1st grade(not horribly) Then in 2nd grade my A B student started getting some C's Now that he is on meds, and we got him on the right dose. he has not had a C paper. I think alot of Dr's really don't want to medicate kids until 1st or 2nd grade. If your ped is not on board with testing, I would really have him tested by a neuropsych Doc and go from there. Atleast you will know what your dealing with. Its a tough decision, I know. In the end I told myself that I need to do whats best for my son. It wasn't fair to him that he had to struggle so much to focas. Alot of boys that age are just plan hyper, but you won't know unless he is tested. Sorry to be so long winded. Good luck! If you need to talk we are here and know what you are going through.