Kids from differernt planets!!! | ADHD Information
I kinda don't like the fact that he was graded on his performance.....is it acting class or English??? I mean some kids are not cut out to be in front of other people, and keep their cool....
But oh well, at least he passed.....same with the math test
sammo, perhaps it is a product of your job....it is coloring your perceptions a tad too much...I am glad there are people like you who do the jobs like this for the children/parents that need you. But you have to also understand that there are many, many ADHD kids whose main issue are some misunderstanding teachers, who could make these children's lives so much nicer to be living in, if they could just give a little......many of these children do not have behavioral issues beyond the frustration caused by the inability to do the schoolwork that their peers are doing with no problem, due to distractibility.
The results are in ... Our wonder son has got a c+ for his science exam.
Not bad for no notes and studying only at lunchtime!!!!
B+ for maths - but a D for his English short play performance. He had trouble with his lines - got anxious and lost his way. Great to see a caring teacher understand how difficult it is for ASD/ADHD/ anxious riddle students to perform!!!! AHHHHHHHHHH Totally stripping him of his self esteem in the class- way to go!!!! She is out to prove a point that he doesn't belong in her class!!(She told me it was too hard to help my son as she had 19 talent students who needed her time!!!) Then this of course lead to an incident of bullying and my son getting into a physical fight!!! That teacher deserves an award for her caring attitude!!!(See bullying post!)
Thanks for all your support! I should be able to pass the term with a little help from my son!!!
Happyrock, just so you know, I in no way thought you were comparing your kids in a negative way or that your son is addicted to his PSP. I really don't think any of us did, except Sammo. I saw you just stating the difference between your kids. I didn't think you should rip the PSP from your son's hands
It is funny how kids come from the same parents but are like night and day isn't it? I am sorry that you son's teacher is not willing to help him, its sad!
I think using video games is a great reward for our kids, atleast it works for my son. But, it doesn't mean he spends all day playing video games or that he is addicted.
Sammo, sorry but I just don't understand your post and the revelance to the topic here. But, maybe I am missing something.
[QUOTE=vickie]Hey Happy,
I know about how different kids can be. It is so interesting watching
them and finding different ways to help with there very different needs. [/
P]
My oldest acts so mature at times, I need to remember that she is only
11 and sometimes acts like an 11 year old.
My youngest is such a challenge and then when there is a crisis (my
husband has a heart condition), she can just step up and act so mature,
helping where needed.
They are such a wonder.
[/QUOTE]WOW that is SO interesting. My kids are really different too. My 5 year old
son - we are having him tested for ADHD - haven't gotten the results
back yet. My daughter, who is going to me 2 in May - is completelly
opposite, if not 'advanced' and shows absolutelly no sign of mental illness
- she is SO easy to teach and willing to learn. My son - whew - I am
trying to prepare him for kindergarten and we are reading the Dr. Suess
Alphebet book. We DID get half the book finished ... after 30 minutes
went by. I really do the best I know how with him - and I do think I do a
good job - but it sure is exausting and frustrating. Especially trying not to
show it - thats probably the hardest part!
Agian I appologize. to happyrock for misinterpreting and reading into a post so pointedly.
The difference between her kids and mine are academic success and death!
I was trying to elude that there are more than acedemic issues for kids as they become adults. I hope happy knows i do really care about the situation her son is in . If I could fly out there and give the principal a swirley just so he would install a bullying alert website i would do it.
As i have tried to point out adhd is lifelong and i personally have to re readthings five or six times to be cognitvly correct about what i interpret.
meds dont fix this!
learning in school helps prepare a mind for life in general. If ADHD - adders dont get thier education and coping skills early then drugs like adderal and become a way of life and not just for acedemic reasons . i have adhd kids addicted to crack
they are definately on a different planet. if i cant understand your perspectives . while i feel like a bull in a china shop .then i loose . I defend .
i do not aggress. i saw also i child that needed help . i didnt find it amusing. but have apollogized publicly for being so harsh. My sixth sense as i believe it be focuses on erring i can find the flaws in just about everything quickly too!Sometimes in only a tangent of behavior there was more to her story than i could touch the error in his behavior. The pricipals lack of contol over his students bulling eachother making her kids feel like they are on different planets. No amount of meds can fix the school policy. I saw with her words that he was intrested in escaping reality while her daughter was in a school of unity driven focus on acedemic excellence.
using pills to help adders is great but theres also a resposibilty to cater to thier understanding of drugs and they are not to self medicate. no matter what stage of life they are in or which planet thier from they will still become self adult , adults shaped by thier parents influences. come on! im ignorant and i get this .
kids do drugs . even the ones on this planet. if meds arent fixing a problem then there is another behavoir that needs to be addresses. i want kids to be kids . frollic like smurfs . but ive seen kids ran over by cars , babys addicted to thier mothers addictions. kids that are told by parents they wish they were never born.
Ive seen them shot , beaten, hopless . i try my hardest to show them the whole world is on thiers side i hold some of thiers hands when appropriate and get them to smile.
I truly wish happyrock was my mother or at least my mother had happyrocks resolve, and I had someone on my side at least once in my life. I have lived on an Ultra cruel planet. being dragged into the school by my hair and flung into an isolation booth just for curling up in fetal position and not wanting tob e beaten in the restrooms agian. believe me when i say there are alot of differents planets i wish i knew where the fair one is.
its not a giant leap for adders to turn to self meds and self diagnoisis . dealing with an unfair planet too . May his mothers stuggle give him courage.
MY kids next door also look at thier watches tracking me when i leave when come home. many things kids do these days. I don't like bullies but they are like possums you get rid of one and another moves in its place . our whole planetary civilization revolves around them. from baseball to school to work to nieghbors to bad business to politicians to dictators yes yes even teachers and principals.I believe its the principals whom propigate the bully enviroments .
Isolation is what hurts ADDers the most. so im imploring parents to look at more than meds for acedemics.
I jumped on happyrock incorrectly in my original post but i have apollogized . recanted, reddirected re edeited . rerererererer
GOOD JOB HAPPYROCK
Dare I say ADHD MOTHER of the year.
But listen seriously. I cried for fifteen minutes this moring for something im not allowed by law to discuss. I saw something in the original post that I thought if was just pointed out may lead to more discussion. Sometimes because of my lack of qualifications Ian my facility m powerless to even speak to a judge od case worker. and say don't punish a child for the parents ignorance.
When I come here I can speak and I level at some of you some of my most pointed arguments from an AADDer point of view with opinions and judgments . please forgive me.
Sammo39168.4120023148
happyrock, I totally got your post and was shocked at sammmos response too...I was thinking...."where did she say he was addicted to the psp...??"
I have 4 children, and I swear they were born knowing how to be different! My boys stress me out to no end, because they do not need to study at all! They ace every test thrown at them...if it was taught in class or covered on a homework assignment, they have it in their memory banks and can dredge it up when they need it.
And sammo, my oldest son does play his video games a lot.....maybe addicted, maybe not....but he has a great personality, lots of friends that he rides bikes, 4 wheelers, and hangs out with, along with baseball every summer, and shooting baskets outside when the weather in Northern Ohio is fair enough.....and babysits for his young neices and nephew 2 nights a week.....as well as maintaining a 3.575 GPA in the 8th grade.....
How many children do you have? How old are they? Just curious.....your post seemed a bit off the wall and harsh....and I agree that your posts are quite difficult to decipher, and I DON"T have ADHD. The disjointed phrasing is difficult to follow on any level.
Happyrocks post was celebrating the different personalities of her two children, at no point did she lament that her son should be more like her daughter....she is just noticing that they are different, as a good parent that knows her children should notice.....
Agian I apollogize I do edit my posts .
I have an almost four year old chatter box that can read a little .
My job is to keep adolecents in thier rooms overnight at a maxium secuirity mental heath fascility. I'm often the one who has time to evaulate whether the kids are to be on or removed from restriction that other staff imposses based on their overnight behaviors. I took the job because I was tired of seeing all the worst people be put in all the worst places and watching them come out unchanged.
Seeing kids get in my face , spitting at me with violent rage , it's my job to de- esclate the kids before they get sent to juvenile , reform school . or jail for breaking their aggrements similar to parole.
I have the worst adhd 12-18 year old kids in my life everynight and thier parents sometimes too,. fighting for freedom tring to ecape and even exact revenge on whom guards the outside world from them. I check this site out because not only is it wonderful to read about parents that help thier kids like happy does. I sometimes practice whats preached here . and yes if youre wondering most of them on my ward are adhd . they selected me for my perspective of having aadhd-L my co - staffs sometime remark to me that its like having one of the kids on the staff. im 38 . I tell them, but I dont stab people and steal thier things or do drugs drink or play with guns or runway. the kids in my ward are the good kids that have made bad choices , but now that they are removed from their homes, friends , schools, activities, self- meds, influences ,the kids here are on thier own, I mean without parents , unless , deemed ok by the state. Most of the kids here cant deal with thier parents anymore because the parents are worse than the kids.
I saw references to psp three times and a lack of focus on a high priority , but youre right I assumed too much. I personally intrpreted she was trying too offer him up to us, but insulate her with her daughters successful attitude . i read it wrong . i dont just want to focus on adhd kids gone bad or just my owm aadhd issues.
Im aliterate I'm trying to do better , please understaand I didn't have parets like you or teachers or even a school that dealt with adhd. Nor doctors to help either.
If you dont like the way I type then pm and ask me to be more clear . I'll try.
Just realize that im aadhd unfettered and unmedicated , i never use spell checker cause at my stage of writing devoplment I am suppossed to edit myself.
Without help possibly some of the kids implied around here could wind up similar to me. A poster boy? I dont think so! Focus on ADHD success is a narrow view of ADHD. I've never been in jail or committed a crime however I stuggle to compete with NTers. I did pass the GED twice fist time in th e top 25 second time in the top 10 I still cant figure that one out i got the minimum score in writing skill yet got a Top% score. It's difficult to type in proper gramitcal style even though I spend hours in the pocket guides to punctuation and style . please understand that it is as difficult for me to be as clear with your style as well . Even as complete as it is. My mind redirects about foor minutes , but when my wife is screaming and yelling that I spend too much time here and her stress enters my thoughts my mind redirects every 1 and 1 half a minute.
I have throw through my whole outline out there before it is complete. the iderate it and reiderated then try to correct spelling and grammer.
Look three birds with one stone.
My writing style needs work.
Sometimes I acknowlege people who possibly need a thier toes upped on a bit. As you will see in the post below , there's no lack throwing around ingorance remarks for any point of view no matter how noble the intention. I'm used to it though people been saying that to me since ever. Kinda prods me to stay on my toes too.
We are gaining perspectives from opposite walks of life in order to deal with children that have adhd.
I tried to just though in two cents worth . I still think I'm under 2000 wordsor at least a small childrens book. I've tried to use HYPERlinks to other sites that explain my points of view very accuratly with good punctuation and stlye ,but dammit if the admin here just wipes off the HYPERlinks sometimes. So I'm stuck with trying to paraphrase ideas and issues from other sites. . Sometimes I do cut and paste. Makes for long posts on the ADHD boards.
So here of all places. It's NTers way or no way or this ADDERway for me.
Yes it's lazy not to edit my grammer, but Im trying too . Believe it or not ,I do go back and re edit my posts ,and actully try to correct the spelling errors and punctuation its a good bet if you came back and read my post later it may promote something entirely different after thinking about your responses.
well I say leave what i say behind if you can and let the original post stand .
i understand how wide the differences are between adhd kids can be. from your daughter to my deceased nieghbor mark .
http://www.adhdnews.com/forum/forum_posts.asp?TID=25757& PN=0&TPN=2
Sammo39166.461087963I totally use things like games, puzzles, lego star wars to motivate both my kids (one ADHD one not). My oldest gets principal list while the other struggles. Only because of ADHD. I do not compare but realize they are different. Happy I think you are doing what is best and please do not be offended by someone's ignorance.Thanks Chasesmom79!!!!
I thought I was going mad for a moment!!! Thank you for your support - we are very isolated and a message like this one gives us the freedom we need to express our thoughts without judgement or fear. Something which we get so much of in the big wide world.
I believe parents of ADHD children are fantastic - we have to be to live with the daily challenges these children bring into our lives.
Thanks again, much appreciated
Happyrock, my kids are completely different from each other also. If I didn't know they were from the same gene pool.... We use whatever carrot (or it is the stick?!!) we can find to get them to do what we want. I really want my oldest to be more physically active and I heard him spouting off to his BF that next year in basketball he's going to be able to dunk, so I told him that I'd give him a hundred bucks if he could do it. So, he's working...for now...we'll see. Sometimes those motivators lose their appeal...oh, well, we do what we can.Whatever works!!!!!!
He has found his old fish tank in the shed and now has it going in his room. Guess what - the psp is no longer a priority - he wants fish!!! Something achievable in the short term and actually quite economical!!!! He has such a limited obsessional focus at times that can be a pain but great if you can get it to work in your favour!!!!
Will keep you all posted on exam results and how long the fish survive!!!!!
Let us know how he did on the test. I used that cram- right- before- the- test technique quite successfully for years. Not the most responsible way for sure, but it got me by with good grades. I never remembered what I needed unless I'd just studied it- I hope it worked for him!
And video games are great motivators, aren't they?
Sammo- no offense intended here, but you're writing on a board where many of the parents have ADHD too. Punctuation/coherent sentances are helpful. I couldn't really make a whole lot of sense out of your post.
Kids CAN be SO different. My 18 yo is a totally different kid from my 9yo. It is amazing that they have the same parents and were raides in the same house.quit comparing . your son needs help . your the mom
for now use psp as earned credit put on a timer wiene him from it
get positive get in his needs youre the only mom he has regardless of how many children you have.
school is not a start over area parents are the only guardian. if he were addicted to alcohol it would be a no brainer
hes obviouly addicted to psp ripp it away and a persona issues will developeas well as @#$%^&*()_+ and zxcxvbnmklpoiuy who knows hell be adrift for sure.
boys have trouble reinventing thier persona parents will have to guide this part.
turn his game addiction persona into a student persona not easy not at all damn hard probably cant do it with out help probably why you posted maybe?
you gotta get in his level and connect and get him to understand his survival depends on school work. all work and no play all play and no work .
you need help him conqure his coping skills . the adhd has him hemmed in real good he actually isolated from the group you want him to be with . its a good bet that the group you want him be with also plays psp . dont take away all his skills just teach him whats appropriate get a study tudor . find five ways to study and get him to be fluent in each one . this is youre obligation! let him then figure out a study comfort zone . no comprimise i wouldnt like to see you here comparing agian when hes 23 and unable to compete with nters doent matter about the girl student , perhaps study right away so she doesnt fret all evening about wether shes going get it all done before bed time hence being stressed out all day and night! those kids could take the study tutor together when schools out
using a tutor regardless of how much mom can help brings attention to the problem and a sense that he is improving on his own the sister can aid in staying focused make them study together i just mean in the same area. just to help the boy discover a persona of studying . get him involved in study groups and make friends with those kids at least theyll be in a student environment instead of a game addiction isolation .
well im going too far i think get him now rather than later. study - adhd plus psp.
dont get me wrong i dont know you never read any of youre posts i think you obviosly care about both of them i just think the boy needs big help sooner than later and privileges will not be enough to redirect the boy.
------------------------------------------------------------ ---------------------------------for post below
as you may tell im aliterate , i have cognitive issue with reading ,im aadhd-L
i did goo to far and assume two much. I apollogize . I think its great you are helping him with unity to achieve his goal.
Sammo39165.4560763889WOW!!!! I think you have interpreted my post differently from how I intended. Where did the GAME ADDICTION theme come from!!! You have presumed so much from this post!
I was just making a comment on how 2 children can be so different in what is important - what motivates them. A reflection on the personality of each child.
My daughter is off at boarding school and both my husband and I never compare the kids to each other - they are individuals with individual strengths and weaknesses. There is no competition between them.
His psp is used as a reward - mainly when we travel etc. The motivator for him to do well in his science test was getting his psp fixed which has been broken for well over 6 months.
I am actually not worried about his grades - he's back at school after a breakdown last year, due to bullying, so just being positve about going is a real bonus.
Really the post was on a positive note!!!!!!!! I am a teacher with 30 years experience and home schooled him last year. I help him with his work because I know his best learning style - we work well together so I feel I am following through on my obligation as a parent!
Hey Happy,
I know about how different kids can be. It is so interesting watching them and finding different ways to help with there very different needs.
My oldest acts so mature at times, I need to remember that she is only 11 and sometimes acts like an 11 year old.
My youngest is such a challenge and then when there is a crisis (my husband has a heart condition), she can just step up and act so mature, helping where needed.
They are such a wonder.
Happy...We use the PS a lot to motivate my son too. My children are so completely different I sometimes wonder how they could be from the same parents. Daughter (8) absolutely loves school, gets upset with anything less than an A. Son (11) is thrilled if he gets through the class and passes. It sounds to me that you are very in tune to your children. I, too, am a teacher and know that you understand how your time and effort will benefit your child!My two ADHD kids have amused me greatly this week on the common topic of exams!!!!
My daughter is 16 and very studious - she has been studying for her physics and chemistry exam for weeks and takes little time off. So driven.
My 14 year old failed his practice science test - 5 out of 52!!! He didn't seemed concerned until he needed to get his psp fixed - 5. I made a deal that if he passed his science exam I would pay half. So this week I have been very busy and forgot to check his diary. As science is on Monday and Tuesday Ipreseumed that the test would be next week. Little did I know that the exam would happen on Friday!!!!!!! Of course he hadn't studied ( after I promised his teacher he would!!!) So I drive up to school of Friday afternoon not knowing about the exam.
Mum "How was your day?"
Son " I had my Science test."
Mum "But we didn't get to study it!!!!!" .
Son "I studied heaps"
Mum "When!!!!!!"
Son "At lunch time before the exam. I sure I did really well . Can you email my teacher to see how I went so I can sent the PSP away?"
Nothing like confidence!!! Meanwhile my daughter is having a heart attack with studying for her exams because she felt she hadn't done enough!!!!
EXHAUSTING!!!!!!!