new to adhd | ADHD Information

If your biggest problem at the moment, is your relationship with your daughter - I will try to respond to this (I am guessing this may be a problem!).

'Hateful child' - if your daughter is being negative, nasty, bossy, cruel.  Try to understand where these emotions may be coming from. 

ADHD children can develop these emotions due to loss of self esteem, and needing to empower themselves in some way.  ADHD children spend a large portion of their days receiving negative feedback about themselves and insults.  This creates anger, hurt and frustration.

When I see signs like this in my kids, I will TAKE TIME WITH THEM.  A lot of it.  I will write them letters about what I think is so good about them, I will tell them stories of the horrible things I did as a kid, and how I wish I hadnt (and i have some really mean stories ).  And I will bring them to lie in bed with me and have a big chat about everything and nothing while we watch tv or play a game of cards.

Your first step, I feel, is working on your relationship with your daughter.  Show her you are by her side, she can trust and rely on you.

If she comes home with a gripe, dont comment on what she can do to change, or tell her what she did wrong, just sympathise.  Say things like, oh you poor baby, that was horrible, or wasnt that a mean thing that happened to you.  After a while she will start to trust you and you should slowly introduce the parental advice.

This is how I work with my girls and it works well.  I dont offer advice but talk more about what I would do in that situation, and let them try and figure it out.

Mother / Daughter relationships are so easily destroyed, so keep in mind the future and how you would like to be getting along with her.

Dont take her crap, tell her you dont deserve it and wont tolerate it, and if she continues with it, she is choosing to spend an hour in her room.

Stand up for yourself, but stand up for her also.  She needs a friend and a mum that will give her lots of affection and wipe away her tears and understand where her bad emotions come from.

When she is being horrible to you, it is just because she is feeling horrible. So try to detach from her emotions and dont take it personally. If my kids tell me they hate me, I will say, "that is your loss, because I love you and always will.  If you choose to hate me, I can learn to live with that too.  But it wont change the fact that I am your mother and you will do what you are bloody well told, and besides I know you dont hate me, so dont be stupid".

I hope some of this helps you start.

[QUOTE=laura31]

My daughter is 7 and half years old any recommended sites, books to read, what has worked for your childern as in displine with school work what should I do or how should I handle this

[/QUOTE]

While I do not know any good books that deal with discpline with school work, why don't you give us just a little more info on the specific problems you are having.  I am confident someone here was also been through this & can help you. 

My daughter is 7 and half years old any recommended sites, books to read, what has worked for your childern as in displine with school work what should I do or how should I handle this

I agree with csmommy u have to ask specific questions...also how old is your daught because sometimes that has to do with it??...I know when I was just born I was diagnosed with depression as well as ADHD...and now at the age of 17 I still take my meds and I will tell ya that growing up with no one around to help me deal with this was hard...so always be there for your little girl is a for sure thing...also if you really want to know I would take her to the doctor and get and ADHD test down...take it easy...hopefully things will work out for u

I agree without specifics it is hard to offer advice. however I can say that a lot of ADDers especially kids who don't really understand why they feel the way they do feel angry or anxious inside. So the hateful part you mentioned probably has a lot to do with her feeling bad or aggravated inside.

I don't know how old she is but on top of the ADHD if she is entering or is in her teens that no doubt has an effect on her behavior. "Normal" kids without adhd or any other problems are moody and unpredictable at that age.

I need some help on understanding the adhd deal I had just found out that my daughter has sever adhd and I don't have a clue on what I am dealing with I think that she is fine half of the time but other times I think that I am just dealing with a hateful child but grante it I love her to death if anyone could please help me out on what I can find I really thank you for the help

Laura, please ask us specific questions, that way we know exactly what area you need help with.

We have all been there before, & going into to this for the first time can be overwhelming.  You will find many people here willing to help, ask away.