(hugs) Keep searching for help. I know how hard it is to find good people in mental health and I live in a City that is supposed to be noted for great medical facilities.
Don't ever feel guilty about being an advocate for your child. I agree, there has to be something positive the teacher can find.
My pedatrician is very cautious too and won't consider medications without another diagnosis besides the psychologist's. You don't want to medicate for ADD if it's not ADD.
I know how frustrating insurance can be. I switched my insurance because the providers I needed didn't take the old plan. The new plan costs me more but I can go to anyone I want.
That makes me soooo mad that a teacher could say a child NEVER did anything well. My response to that is "well, then you have failed as a teacher!" "YOU GET AN F!" I too had a similar teacher that never had anything positive to say about my son. Since I was 8 months pregnant, we had just moved, and I couldn't deal with all the stress she was placing on us, I did end up letting her win because we pulled him from the school. At the time, we also felt he wasn't happy, she wasn't happy, why force it upon both of them because it is what we wanted? Another teacher later told us how much she missed our son (small school), and I told her point blank the other teacher made us not feel welcome.
Anyway, our son is now in a preschool with a fabulous teacher. She has many positive things to say about our son. He has good days and bad days, but she is very understanding and very patient, which is what it takes to be a teacher...even with non adhd kids. I read a book this past fall called "From Difficult to Delightful in 30 days" Of course, it didn't totally work, but behaviors have improved. I had to make an outline to keep reminding myself of the techniques. But, it is hard on teachers and how they want the easy out. And, it is a reminder to us all to take a look at our kids through new eyes. Stop seeing the negative and focus on the positive. I promised myself if I ever got another teacher like that I'd give her a copy of that book.
Sounds like what I'm going through with my sons teacher...He was sick this week and I was actually happy to have him home. She too doesn't seem to know what praise and finding the good in a child is! I feel like he is a burden to her and I do not feel bad at all for her. I think a lot of his behavior in the classroom may stem from how she handles him. She is not the motherly type at all and it shows..Good for you!!!!!
I remember telling my son's pre-school teacher that she should focus on the positves and praise him when he did something well. Her answer was he never did anything well! Ignorant teachers!!! Being a teacher this made my blood boil because you can always find the good in a child. First make a connection with their heart and you'll have their brain!!!! You are on the right track. Keep strong!
EXACTLY!!! How can a preschool teacher not be able to find anything positive to say about a student???!!! Even my most challenging preschoolers I could still find something positive about.....
And you are so right! If you can get the child to like/love you, they will put out so much more effort!
Just keep trotting along. I get easily frustrated as well. However, I am lucky to have a great support group at school. They work really well with me. Maybe push for an IEP at school to get him on a program for behavior. My one son is on one at school. I have several appointments set up for my son - OT evaluation, Neurological evaluation and one with a Psych.
Every time I feel like I am starting over and I can't tell you how many times, I feel like I was just getting a pep talk or pushed off. Keep trying and hopefully, you will find someone.
Maybe you can see if someone at the big hospitals in Minneapolis have any satellite sites close to you.
GOOD LUCK!
i live a few minutes west of minneapolis. let me know if there is anything that i can do for you. my dd is currently being treated with a pediatrician, but is doing well on ritalin LA.
shelley
Well, we had his appointment yesterday and got nothing accomplished! It was basically a pep talk from his ped! But he is a great Dr. and at this point is the only one who cares about us. Even tho we know no more than we did before we went, it was nice to know he's fighting for us. He is so upset about the poor treatment we got from the mental health center and that our insurance is being so difficult. He wants us to go to Minneapolis because there is no one good in our area - our area is almost 4 hours NORTH of Minneapolis (BFE - know what that means?)- and he wants someone more certified to help him with the diagnosis. He also said he doesn't think it's ADHD or at least "not a classic case", but that's why he wants someone else to see him cuz he's not sure - and he's very thorough!! He even personally called me at home today! I really do love this man!!
But, on another note, when I went to pick my son up early from school yesterday the kids were in music class so I had a few minutes alone with his teacher. I asked her how he was doing and she actually SIGHED at me - in that frustared way!! I left there feeling horrible - just like every other time I talk to her. She never has anything positive to say about him and I'm sick of it. So, today I e-mailed her. YEAH ME!! It wasn't mean, but it was straight forward. My husband thinks it will make her mad, but with 2 months of school left how much worse can she make it for him. What's she going to do? Give him a time-out? Yeah. That's something new!
Well, let's keep our fingers crossed that the Dr. calls on Friday with some sort of good news!!!
Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in your boat. My daughters kindergarten teacher also has nothing nice to say about my daughter, (my daughter also has nothing nice to say about her teacher either). I got a phone call today to come to her class (10 min after the bell rang) because my daughter would not come to her seat. when i got there my daughter was mad but doing her work. (i should also mention that one kid got sent to the office today for hitting another student, two kids lost 5 min from recess because they were throwing pennies at each other and every third sentence out of her mouth was correcting a childs behavior.) I was the only parent called to the room. After all my daughter has ADHD. I told her that her actions had just underminded her authority, my daughter has adhd, is spacy and sometimes difficult, but she is not stupid, and she can read her teacher like a book. I think that it is about time that people in general start accenting the positive. for crying out loud they are KIDS and we are supposed to be the adults.