Dear blaze,
Like most of us Parents who have children with ADHD...we struggle to bridge a gap of communication between those who dont quite understand ADHD..for the benifits of our children. and sometimes we find it is our husbands or wives we have to build this gap for...
Here in the US...the service of DFCS is to help children and families....the last thing they want is another child caught up in the system....they can point you in the right direction....for help..
the thing is not all parents or adults can handle a ADHDs childs behavior..at times it takes an enourmous amount of time and a great deal of patience..that can and will try you to no end.
I would suggest if you can...talk to your childs Dad....and find out what caused the fit...with a child with ADHD it could have been something so small...a ADHD child can fly off the handle in a flat second..and sometimes it can end as fast as it started....My daughter loved going to my sisters house...and my sister would always call and tell me that she was having a tantrum and I had to come pick her up....after several times of doing this ...I finally said No you cannot go over there any more....My response to my daughter was because your Aunt cannot handle your behavior like I can...but she wouldnt let me....do this or that was always her response...and I told her if she said No that it ment No...and that if she wanted to go over there again she had to act approprate...so from then on I learned to tell her of expectations of behavior...and it helped a great deal...this too can be helpful for Exs ....I sure hope this helps..
with love from the US
Lore
Hi I'm new to this forum. I have a six year old boy who was diagnosed with ADHD in Jr Kindergarden and a 19 month old boy. I have a few issues that I would love to hear some input on.
1.My son first started on Ritilin but with all the rebound he was moved onto Concerta 27mg which up until Christmas was doing a really good job of helping him focus and maintain some control on his agression which was a big issue before, now he isn't doing as well on the medication and since we moved cities and had to have a new family doctor who turned out to know nothing about his medication I finally found a peditrician for him and went to see him and of course my son was very calm at the time and behaved well like an angel so he told me that he seemed to be fine and there was no need to adjust the medications as he had only gained 4 pounds since he was put on the medication. We do have an upcoming psycoligist appointment for him but this was something his family doctor had booked and when they called they told me it was a one time deal and something to do with a special half day class for school with only 6 children in the classroom. So I dont know what to do I'm at odds everyone seems to be just passing the buck around and handing us off to the next guy. So my Question is any advice?!?
2. My son has agression issues which from reading other posts just goes with the territory we call them his "fits" he will scream and yell throw things and say things like "I hate you" "I want you to go away and never come back" "I dont want you to be my Mom" etc Im sure many of you have been there before. These are things that I'm used to and can deal with them most times just but letting it run it course and talking to him about it after. This happened to my ex husband his father last weekend he lives a floor below me (I moved here so that my son could be closer to his father) It was a typical fit from what I can gather. I guess I should give you a little history of his father first : I left him when my son was 3 years old and he has been in his life but only to the extent that we can say that he was there soesnt spend much quality time with him and his idea of spending time with him is going to wal-mart and buying him things or giving him candy and whatnot he is not a hands on Father at all which in itself is frustrating but I can tell him that till I'm blue in the face and he wont change. Anyways last Sat I got a call from his Father saying that my son was taking one of his fits and he was sending him home then a couple mins later I got another call and was told that I better get down there quick as he wasn't listening and was throwing things so I grabbed the baby and headed down the stairs to go get him when I reached that floor I could hear his father yelling all the way down the hall so I ran down the hall and burst though the door and yelled at him myself telling him that yelling at him wasnt going to help. (I know my yelling didnt help either) Then I was able to get my son out of the apartment and over to in front of the elevators where he told me that his father had hit and kicked him ..out popped his fathers girlfriend who said NO he didnt! the elevator came with my son still in fit mode so I got him and the baby on there and took him home when I got there I looked at his little body which had red marks all over it including some scratches so I took pictures of it all and comforted him best I could. We didnt hear from his father for 5 days afterwards and that was only after I saw his girlfriend and made a comment on how he needed to call his son. Of course he denys that he hit or kicked him and says that he just held him down. So on Friday we had councelling which of course as with everything that Ive been though with my son I do because his father is too busy to attened not that I havnt offered each and everytime. I told the counceller about it and my son told her the same thing he had told me. She in turn had to report it to the local CAS which I hate but I understand. So when I came home I called his Father and told him that he would be getting a call from the CAS next week sometime and that they wanted to come talk to me and our son then to him. He flew off the handle as usual and told me that he was going to go get a lawyer this week and go for joint custody ..at which I laughed at (there is no custody in place yet but would never get it) My Question is has anyone ever been though anything like this before Ive never had to deal with CAS (a child protective angency) and to be honest it terrifies me although Ive done nothing wrong...Still you hear about all the horror stories of children being taken from thier parents with little reason.
Sorry this has been so long but I wanted you to get all the information.. I would love it if anyone has some feedback for me.
Welcome Blaze,
You will find help and support here.
Fits...You are right that yelling just escallates things. Staying calm and removing yourself from the situation can lessen them. Praise your son for getting control over his anger and for any proper demonstration of anger and control. Keep coaching him on the proper way to show he is angry. Look at ograms marble system (a long thread on this forum) for a positive reinformcment behavior plan. There is a book called "Your explosive child" that might help.
Meds...Can you find a child Psychiatrist that works with ADHD kids? These docs have the most experience managing meds, especially when a co-morbid condition (anxiety, ODD, etc) comes with the ADHD. It might be that the concerta is not working as well because of a change that has caused your son more stress (just a thought). Also, look up a thread on the medication board for Tenex. It can be used to augment concerta and helps with some of the defiance issues, hyperactivity, imupulsivity, etc.
CAS, etc...Hopefully someone else will give a quick response for these.