I could just kick myself | ADHD Information
my heart goes out to you. - sigh-
my forgetfulness makes me always prepare for the worst scenario.
i keep extra bottles of daily doses in several places.
2days worth seperate at home 2 days worth in car 1 days worth at my brothers across town i dose at my play dates home to invite learning of the situationthis gives me the chance to explain to others how important the meds are what they do --- personally i go a little extreme about the effects to scare them off from experimenting with them themselves.
like leaving a dose of everything at your dads just in case you accidently run out of one med like a dog ate it or the last one bounces into oblivion.
I always use proper labling I even ask the pharmacy to give me divided dose. I order two bottles cause of the divorce no extra meds just extra bottles. This keeps the pills in the proper lables without having to touch them and clearly keeps the same expiration/dispenced dates .
Your probably aware of the word Stim
Using things like changing lighting from over head bright to dim table lamps two hours before bed.
I also switch from tv or elctronic games to radio . sometimes music sometimes the prarie home companion things like that . not so much like radio rock or pop more like symphany cds that sooth lowering the sounds in the to home/ environment / i absolutly stop talking 1 hour before bed only nods,facial gestures,even silence , but no verbal commands and limited use of hand gestures mindful not to snap fingers or stomp while hurring some where.
i only keep age/dvlp appropriate toys in her room that are silent i believe shes playing with in her head while resting this also helps with devolpment.
bringing the enviroment through a slow down cycle too helps maintain routine while stiming wains. baths and light /video shows are stims / sounds get mimic ed my daughter mimics her enviroment when its has multi stimulus shes multi tasking her mimicing. quiet time is also a hyperfocus time for me . i stand there staring into space rocking back and forth. i tend to be oblivious to it my wife has give me a caring nudge so i move on sometimes. kids need that sometimes too. a non verbal physical gentle nudge during quiet time. you see nurses do it sometimes uncontiously ,
are you personally in counseling to help you cope with this life style . you dont have to answer that . youre already a champion in my thoughts.
remember the non-verbal gestures can keep the evening transition phase from being re stimulated.
if the enviroment is less stimulated it also has an effect on the rest of home and everyone in it. if its too difficult to remember to turn down the house you can get lighting timers pretty cheap around - and place them stategically to shut down the dwelling in a path to the bedroom .
rigid routines do keep adders in step and we thrive in the lock and step environments like military units. but home is a little differenet routine yes but you got to watch thier development eyeing thier stages and helping them to connect thier feelings to thier actions and nudging them to notice thier feeling and prompting them to grow into thier next stage of developement.
its easy to gain control its difficult at first to interview them subtle to be involved with every aspect of thier thoughts and feelings . then wham they revert . anoher parent or sibling thinks youre over controling or being micro rediculous . it does take a village .
have these adult relationships other than your own around as they grow up . other kids above her stage of development other than school so she deal with older situations with you . and peer situations on her own.
adult relationships
teaching - to learn, change , grow listening - to identify feelings and connect them to behaviors, while being non-judmental, accepting , supportive relating - to be a role model-enngage influence-and engage when shes isolated structureing - to be around positive people that are dependable in routines and give expectations directing - for redirecting, a rewarder and punisher , they can make the direct statements and demand controlusually an individule can only be 2 of these relationships we all naturally gravitate to one type or another naturally . kids got to be guided by them all .
school teachers are already structurers and directors but sometimes thier just jerks . Very import to have an outside relator adult relationship close and available to help with isolation. sometimes a guardian is an obstacle for growth and the listener will sympathize too much. too many "hallmark' moments my wife says . and she's right. a good listener relationship can also be over the phone in front of a parent who also listens in let the child talk twice as much as the adult.
the adult connects the deeper or subtle feelings to behaviors not just the surface ones anger hate ,scared, dig deeper what made you feel sad, embarrassed lonley , keep in mind some kids need the adult to reconnect feelings to alterantive actions , rather than just sitting down or being quite they could be prompted to connect a feeling to an age appropriate activity in thier next stage of development.
doesnt help grow anything tring to be any of those relationships teaching, relating , structureing ,directing , listening during a tantrum or an outburst. but right after tantrum or a outburst when a child becomes calm . connect thiers feelings to what happened if your your always approaching from the listener or relator they dont seem to grow or change. over and over they do the same things . very frustrating gotta have help you just gotta , and they gotta be different kind of help need that relator in there and director too. without the listener and relator dont know what feelings in thier head. when they behaved unrulely. need the teachers (not acedemic) to help out. An isolated parent is a damn hard thing to be . my heart goes out to you . at least you're doing much more than turning up volume to drowned out youre own chaos. I dont have an emoticon large to clap big enough for you, hallmarking agian - sorry if what ive Said appeals to you then find out more about TCI and CBT method of care. cause im just plain aliterate . and a hard read . good luck if i can learn it in week anyone can - and and teach it to children too its not to be inside info. you never know with kids , espcially adhd kids which ones are gonna grow up to be next innovator of the century. thats to big a burden to think about , just go one development stage at a time and there may be less trouble with peers so there may be less stress with school. no matter what they will grow somejust need a little connecting and less stress . everyones different theres no magic pill or magic method . god gave children parents that plural - i dont mean what that implies - i do mean dont be an isolated parent - its not about you its about her . positive realtionships helps us grow, connect ,engage ,be dependale , and recieve rewards . i know could not be all those influences every day for the rest of my life either.
on my ward i have anywhere from 1-8 but somtimes during chaos 1- 15 ADHD
panic and yelling doesnt ever do a damn thing except create more incedents.
teaching after an incedents while calmmay keep it from happening agian , much more effective than yelling. or coveying that " dont do that or ill panic - sometime panic creates a stim game for attention. having directing skills out public is like having a magic cloak no panic , no yelling , no snapping fingers or whistles. before or while outbursting redirect the feeling theyre having to another favorite activity . a pocket game or doll stim they can see then a quick calm command to get into a lock and step and theyre at least under control. trying to do this only during an out burst is silly . practice it when theyre calm so they gavitate to what they already know while being cognitively impaired from the stress of an outburst.
well if you already knew this stuff or something like it i didnt mean to act as if you dont do things things already.
sincerly
samuel
Sammo39179.1568981481
Wonder, how old is your daughter? I have to say, please don't feel that for the rest of her life she will be behaving the way she does now, unless she's already in her late teens. From what I've read, there's every indication that the face of adhd in our children changes as they age. You won't have a 16 year old climbing every horizontal surface or destroying your home. She might be manifesting her adhd in other ways at 16, but as she ages she will gain more common sense and it will get better. She may not be able to focus on schoolwork or have a tendency to make risky choices, but she will also (hopefully) see that managing her adhd is best for her. Don't let a meds snafu make you feel like throwing in the towel. Take heart! It will get better!!
Thanks for all the support. I really appreciate it.BPQW my daughter will be six next week. I know things can and will change but right now it is very discouraging. I wish I could just kiss her booboo and make it better. That's what mom's are supposed to do, and I can't make it all better. I can't take it from her. I t hurts to see your child so frustrated and hurt.
I'm so sorry that you are having to deal with all of this. You need to remember that you are a wonderful parent and you didn't cause your daughter to have her problems. Someone once told me that God only hands you what you can handle. I agree it isn't fair that our children have these problems but they do and we just have to do what it takes to help them, guide them, and love them.
Hang in there!
I have to write and tell you, first my prayers are with you and I feel your pain. I am a single parent. adhd is 10 and I have a 6 year old who is following the same disrespectful path, I want to give up tonight, but I decided to be very quite and sad at dinner. They were both all over the place. I remand quite and sad, without saying a word. My adhd 10 year old came up to me and gave me a hug and sad thanks for dinner. My 10 year old with adhd is only on med for school, and hasn't been on them for 5 day because of spring break. He is very thin and I have to take him off on weekends, to put the weight on. Trust me it is hell on earth! Anyway, I want you to know that you are not alone in your pain. I have two boys that take pleasure in fighting. I am way out of their league. I will go to the police the next this happens. Trust me . Tomorrow will be better I pray! for all of us. I cry for you and I all of us, but you know if we ever got togehter we would make a river so big that we would all float away. Be strong, sad, and silent, and see what happens, it worked for me tonight i hope it helps you. dont say a word 
sorry i forgot the smile. tomorrow is a better day! I am here for you! DeeYou will never guess what I did...I had to go out of town for court reasons (my son's dad) I stayed at my father's house which is about 350 miles from my house. It was just a one night trip. I got back to my house and my dad tells me I left my dd's meds on his kitchen counter. I freaked out!!!!! I called the Dr. on call and went there this morning. She told me to just give her her old meds until I get the meds back (Medicaid would not pay for another prescription) Well tonight has been HORRIBLE. My dd threw my dog across the room, dumped out all the milk, emptied the entire bathtub on the floor and now is telling me how mean I am. My dad overnighted the meds so I PRAY they arrive in the morning. She is so hard to deal with when she is like this. She can be so mean. I sat down and cried today at the Dr. office. It is really sinking in now. She (we) will be dealing with this for the rest of her (our) lives. Never once did I imagine that I would have such responsibility. I have a special needs child. My heart breaks for her and I am having a hard time with the guilt, because I can't help but to think "What did I do?" "Did I give this to her? It's so hard when you are so used to fixing their booboo and I know there is nothing I can do to take this away from her. I wish to God I could bare the burden of this for her. I don't want her to have a hard life. Why? Thats what I really want to know.....WHY?????
Take care. It is so hard to look for the positives. Take one day at a time. You will survive this. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
more ((hugs)) I hope you got the medication returned ok.
I too am at my breaking point, and have been there for ahwile. A couple nights ago there was a feud with my neighbor (she is a total busy body)
I get so tired of people not understanding.
Wonderwoman, I hope you get the meds today....
Next time, go to the drug store or walmart...and get a pill case, divide up only the ones you are going to need for the trip, (maybe an extra day or two for good measure) and take that with you, and leave the pill bottles at home...then the worst that can happen is that you leave the pill case there....and you will have meds at home to use until you get that back.
Hope that today is a better day for both of you!
cheesehead, I just want to wrap you up in a big bear hug!
My circumstance has NEVER been near as difficult as yours is, and I know that before we had a dx and effective treatment, I sat down and cried on more than one occasion. I just could not go through it again...I had raised one daughter with the same issues (unknown, undx, untreated) and I thought she was just exceptionally smart and exceptionally lazy. I was seeing the same pattern emerging in Chase and I just could not handle it.
Hang in there, and hopefully you too, will soon get effective treatment for your son, and things will look up! I will keep you in my prayers to give you the strength that you need to get through this.
Well still no meds...I called my dad to see if he mailed them. He PROMISED me he would overnight them. Well he felt like .00 was to steep to pay to send them overnight. AGHHHHHH Last night was HORRIBLE!!!! I am now looking at two more days of this now. What a jerk. I told him how important it was....but when it comes to money that is all that matter. The well being of his grand daughter and the sanity of his daughter is not important enought to spend .00. Again...I COULD KICK MYSELF. Wonderwoman39177.7141898148