Your opinions on this discipline... | ADHD Information

I have a son (6) and my daughter (8 1/2 ADHD).  When they are verbally fighting and just can't play well together I don't let them be in the same room as one another.  This may sound very simple, I set a timer to 2 hours... they are not to say anything to each other ( since they were arguing with each other before hand) and can't be in the same room. 

For the first 1/2 my son is outside playing, and my daughter is inside.  They maybe playing then I tell them to switch.  My duaghter can't leave her room until he comes in and goes to his room (can't be in the hall at the same time).  I take it a little far... if he is in the kitchen she has to wait in the door way while he is in there and when he leaves she may enter.  They see how silly it is because they really do like playing with one another.  The end of 2 hours they are happy to play with each other and no arguing.

One time they were just down right mean to one another... I did this for 4 hours.  I took work on my part... but they remember that.

I do have them apologize to each other... but they have to mean it... and if the other one does think they mean they don't have to accept it.  They will have to apologize again unitl they accept it.  Works because both of them have to apologize to each other.  not just say "I'm sorry"... but "I'm sorry for hurting you feelings and I will try not to do that again" etc... they have to put some thought into what they are going to say.

Yes, I agree with the I'm sorry.  It can just be a mumble, so hard to hear or while looking at the other direction. 

I make both of my children say I'm sorry for ***, and mean it by their voice and body language.

Thanks.

One that I like is a variation on a time- out.  I was at a childcare conference a couple of years ago and heard Malcolm Smith speak.  He is the author of The Peaceful Intervention Program and he works with, and has been a foster parent to, children and teens who are angry and explosive. 

He recommended the Thinking Chair.  Like a time out, but instead of sitting for a set amount of time the child sits until they are ready to do 2 things.  One is to tell you what they did wrong, the other is to tell you what they will do differently the next time.  They need with the problem solving aspect at first, but eventually they can do it on their own.  The other thing he recommended was restitution- help the child to find a way to make up for what they did or said.  it takes more effeort than sending them to their room, but it teachs great skill. 

I enrolled my son in after school Tae Kwan Do for discipline reasons (this was before diagnosis and meds), and his Master makes them write sentences if they get into trouble at school.  Sometimes 200 sentences!  The corner doesn't work at home for us either, he just falls aleep to get out of it!  So far nothing works, except sentences (depending on his mood).  I'm thinking of trying the marble system, it has been suggested often and most posts indicate that it works.  Good luck! 

I was just trying to think of other ways to discipline my 9 yr old adhd child.  The corner is usually our first choice and then taking something away or being grounded is second.

Our issue is disrespect at this time.  He thinks he can make his own choices and do as he pleases regardles off what we tell him.  Putting him into a corner really does nothing.

I was thinking of when he "talks back" or disrespects us by not doing what we say, we should sit him down with a paper and pencil and write XX amount of times, something along the lines of: I WILL NOT DISRESPECT BY PARENTS.  I WILL DO WHAT THEY SAY.  THEY KNOW WHAT IS BEST FOR ME. 

Obviously this can't work in all situations.. has anyone ever tried anything like this. 

I am looking for creative ways to handle situations.

Another one I picked up was when he and his sister are verbally fighting... I make them sit on the couch next to each other, hold hands and then kiss each other on the cheek and say I'm sorry.  They usually give me a hassle, then bust out laughing and the whole situation is over!!!

I think writing the sentences is a great idea! I had thought of it before - they did it in the old days at school, right? But, I've never tried it. When he gets in trouble at school I make him write an "I'm sorry" letter. I'm intrested to see what everyone else has to say.....................

I used to have Chase write sentences when he did something wrong....it was his least favorite thing (writing) and often just the threat of it was enough to stop the behavior in its tracks.

The sitting on the couch and holding hands and kiss on the cheek thing I never tried but my SIL said that her mom did that with her and her sibs and that it always resolved their conflicts with laughter as well.... 

I thought that too nutz... they did it in school. 

I'd be interested to hear anyone elses opinions too.

I make Will write sentences when he is in trouble.. He told his little brother that he hated him, so I made him write I love my brother 20 times. And then tell him to his face.