Lying | ADHD Information
Anyone have problems with their child making up stories or just telling lies for no reason? Lately my dd has been lying for no real apparent reason. I asked her if she had lunch yesterday and she said no...I didn't eat anything. Well then I said I would call her teacher and ask her. She then stated that her teacher would be to tired to answer the phone so I couldn't call her. Then I said I would call the principle then, and she sad FINE I did eat something! I asked her why she lied to me and she said it was only a little lie. I told her that a lie is a lie and she shouldn't do that. She then told me that the liar in her brain made her lie. I tried to express that she is in control of her actions and that no one else is. She randomly does this over simple things. Anyone else see this? I know lying can be part of ODD which she is diagnosed ADHD combined, ODD, OCD, and GAD. She is almost 6 yrs old.Besides lying being common for ADHD and ODD, it's also normal for an almost-6 year old. That doesn't make it acceptable, of course. For my 7 year old, I've had success from questioning everything he says and asking if it's another lie. It ticked him off enough that he started telling the truth a lot mroe. I varied my tone depending on reading the situation. My tone varied, but basically I kept saying "Are you telling the truth this time?" (focusing on the positive of truth telling, vs. the negative of lying). Sometimes I threw in "I wish I could believe what you're saying, but you've been lying a lot lately, so it's hard for me to believe you" (particularly effective when my child was complaining his younger brother had pushed him or taken his toy).well a non ADD who wants to call us out and say our big fibs are a problem is well. highly unable to comptemplate that we adders can in fact phase in and out of alternate realities with many other paths that lead to things that are stranger than fiction.
lies how dare you! big fat fibs thank you
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omg repressed flash back
i called my mom she said i talked about being a soul waiting to be born when i was three and how i waited from behind a white fense while military men kept trying to take me places . until one day i was given to my mom dad cause they missed my grandfather so much
take it or leave it, but its true. i did say that and remember it too and remeber saying it . dont ask me what i had for lunch cause i might just fib about what i cant explain.
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response for below
i feel i have just have ti share this insight with you.
my ASS lol my ADD
he he he typo
my ADD AS YOUNG BOY got me into much trouble , trouble that made me very confused. example at age four i remember climbing a tree that had special pretty grape looking things with blooms . only thing is i was at at a nieghbors. i got introuble and moved on.
later i had forgotten about it , i was questioned about it hours later by my parents . threats and lashes with a belt and i still couldn't own up to it. i had no recolection. something was horroribly different this time. usually i get beat for something i do. this time i didmnt do it and thier beating me. i still remember feeling that way. the first time i was terrified of my parents. well if it wasnt that i would of been something else . but i didnt know that at four.
any way what im saying is one of the key factors to helping kids help them selves. if they dont take ownership then that has to be addressed before punish ment. well especially to me . if i dont know what did is wrong the any punishment becomes a trust issue . wether its breaking a small treee or pulling a post taking ownership is a major factor in recieving consequinces that teach moral lessons.
i did finally remember four months later , but i remeber getting hurt alot after that first woopen.
i falling asleep
Sammo39191.2377662037My son went through a phase when he was lying a lot, seemingly for no reason. His therapist told us to call him on it every time. She said to look him in the eye and tell him you know it's not true and tell him why you know it's not true. It was frustrating and scared me (his biological father is severely ADHD and a compulsive liar) but he eventually stopped doing it so much.I have just noticed my 10 year old lying, maybe is isn't lying but he will coming in the car after school and say I finished all my homework, when I look I see it is maybe half way done. Whe i question him on it he has a very innocent face, like he really thinks he did it all. He also lately has told me things that are not a lye but not true like he makes a situation in his head. he is on Daytrana, which I love , is this the age or something else. (He exaggerates EVERY situation, EX. doctor dentists something he doesn't like.) I correct him and he looks at me innocent. I don't know what this is maybe all kids are this wayI feel relieved to read this thread. I honestly felt that I was failing in teaching my child good values and morals and the basic difference between what is right and what is wrong.
My son sometimes simply does not tell me things and I used to feel he was lying by omission, however I have adjusted my thinking and feeling and now give him space to talk to me when he is ready. Fortunately it is working.
On the other hand, DS earned himself the nickname "captain excuse" from his father as there is absolutely nothing he says or does (that he should not be doing) that does not come along with an excuse or passing of blame. I do feel many of his lies are normal for his age but I sometimes despair that I am doing something wrong!
[QUOTE=huntnmom]We are still getting to the bottom of it, any suggestions out there on curbing the lying behaviour? This has been ongoing for the last few years (mostly since he started school) and he is just recently diagnosed ADHD combined (1 month) and still not on the right meds. Hopefully it will improve? [/QUOTE]
Hopefully the right meds will help this impulsive behavior disappear. For my child, after meds wear off at night and before they start working in the morning, sometimes he lies a lot. For me, it's helped to question literally everything my child says, down to "I need a drink." It really ticked him off that I was unable to believe anything he said. I'll have to do this every couple of months or so.
My son, 13 lies. Actually, in elementary school, the teachers said he was a master of excuses and if spent as much energy on his school work as he did on making up stories, he'd be getting all A's.
Yest. my son was wearing a shirt that I had put in his hamper. I asked him why he was wearing a dirty shirt? He actually told me it was clean and he found it in the clean clothes basket. When I told him that on Monday I found it in the clean clothes pile and saw it was dirty and put it in the hamper, he still insisted it was clean.
My son is actually getting better at hiding his lies. When he was younger he always gave himself away. Usually he makes up stories to cover something up at school.
I have read, also this a characteristic of ADD. It's awful to not trust your kids.
My son has issues with lying as well. Mostly to get out of trouble, but then it goes in to anything and everything. My husband and I do the same thing.....saying we just can't believe you because we have caught you lying too many times. There is no excuse he offers for the lying either, except the all famous "I don't know". We are still getting to the bottom of it, any suggestions out there on curbing the lying behaviour? This has been ongoing for the last few years (mostly since he started school) and he is just recently diagnosed ADHD combined (1 month) and still not on the right meds. Hopefully it will improve?i agree with jaderock54. i think theres a differences between compulsive liars , lying compulsively, taking accountability , and true memory lapse of occurances.
i see frustration with each issue , my loved ones have been frustrated for many years i get so good at it they never know when im telling the truth. my wife actually video taped me lying so she could see my facial tics that sometimes surface. it back fires on her sometimes cause i learned to fake some of those tics - its even frustrating for me like an intrinsic habit that i cant stop. no one else in my family does this . in living family tree i have 118 (great) cousins 25 are adhd and i cant tell ifthey lie or not till i go thier homes and sit with them for awhile. i thought adhd was 1-25 but i think thats more like saying 1 in 12 family trees are common with adhd. in my humble opinion
using accountability as a coping skill helps with issue. in wether a person becomes a compulsive liar or compulsively lies. thanks Luvmykids02 for help understanding that
Your welcome Sammo
I have the same problem. Today I was picking up the kids at Mom's and found my 4 yr old new shoes outside full of dirt. I asked who did it and each blamed the other (ADHD son is 8). I still haven't found out who did it. Then at bedtime I asked my 8yr old if he had brushed his teeth. He told me "yes", but his toothbrush is dry. When I asked him again he kept telling me he had brushed them, until he finally said "I forgot".
How does he "forget", he takes his medicine and is told to brush his teeth and go to bed? He went to the dentist last week and has 6 cavities in his baby teeth that have to be filled.
I don't what I will do when my 6 month old starts to get mobile, I guess she will get blamed for everything then.
its just my personal understanding that meds dont keep anyone from forgetting.
more like focussed but there is only a certain amount of time that they are peak focussed , and thats the time you want them paying attention - at school . brushing teeth ---- not such a high priority - at night before bed because you want them to sleep .
i think the 504 plans explain it better
im the wrong person to get good advice on meds
but i do know todays common meds for adhd only treat the symptoms and they cant be be intense enough to correct absent mindedness completly or the meds user would never sleep. some combinations allow for quicker ramp up and down effects but then youre training kids to to use drugs that later in life may pose at temptions to other self med drugs .
ok im just gonna sat it and it doesnt pertain to anyone in particular.
high IQ kids should get the full battery of adhd combinations if a guardin knows for sure thier college bound. yes
however if a child is doing poorly with school consistently they may need only be druged enough to complete thier education during education hours so they function well in society with umedicated coping skills. because some of the kids grow up to be substance abusers . Im going to spare this thtread the awfull stories. just that a treatment plan needs to be considerate of the adhd childs needs now and in thier future . wether meds or drugs the thing that gets people into trouble with the law are usually poor coping skills.
i certainly accept that many who read this will disagree . but for me in my reality its a fact that adhds even medicated oneschoose consequinces that hurt others and get themselves put in prisons.
i wrote this one when i came home and im too tired to correct it ill edit it laterwhen i wake up
isnt it great that im not the only one who gets to post opinions
Sammo39192.4431134259Hi. Our son( 6 years old, almost 7) lies CONTINUOUSLY. He lies about everything. I can't even tell all the things he lies about. We are to the point where we don't believe one single word that comes out of his mouth. It's horrible feeling that way. Every parent wants to trust and beleive in their child. We just want this lying to stop but we don't know how to stop it. I had posted my situation already so I don't really want to repeat it but bottom line is that this lying has to stop. We are getting really frustrated with it.