Hi,
I'm going to start off with the school counsellor first and see how that goes. Mariaven, we changed schools because the my son's teachers did not believe that ADHD existed(!) and the principal of the school would do nothing about the bullying. My son of course, brings along all his behaviours to the new school but at least he has a teacher experienced in kids with ADHD and knows how to deal with him. Our challenge is to make sure that he doesn't ostracise every single kid in his age group with his typical ADHD behaviour. Although saying that, he is a sweet, kind and considerate kid, it's just that he goes a bit haywire in the school yard - so many kids....so little time! he just gets overexcited and becomes full on and annoying.
Having a child who is being bullied is very difficult for all. Moving schools is a good idea but the same behaviours still follow. We did the same thing with our son. I was even teaching at the school and could do nothing about the bullying. He eventually had a breakdown and became extremely depressed (aged 10). The more sensitive he became, the more these little darlings zeroed in on him. A change happens with children in at this age - all of a sudden they will not accept anyone who is different. Impressing the peer group and peer acceptance is the number 1 aim. Before this children are so accepting of difference.
For us , the new school was a great until the usual 12 year old boy joking around started. DS count cope and totally overreacted one day - punching the boy! He had transferred the feeling from his first school with him.
The behaviours you have given as examples are ones I would see as impulsive. Do you think that he is doing these things to try and fit in and gain acceptance. He may be feeling socially unsure of himself and needs to feel secure. It's a bit like what came first the chicken or the egg. If he is on ritalin do you think his meds are at the right level?
Chat to the teacher about maybe keeping a log on his behaviour - watching impulsiveness/ concentration - make a table with 30 minute intervals and plot behaviour + _ or = throughout the day. When I used this in the classroom I would just have it on a clip baord and fill in out with any notations if anything specific happened. Otherwise it would be just a general feeling if his behaviour had improved over the span or had deteriorated. If it had dropped off I'd look at why - group work, art etc would make a child who is impulsive, be even more so. In a week a pattern should develop so you can see if there the meds are not enough. Then you have a good observation tool to take to your doctor. With my son we noticed the same time every day he would become restless. Then we would move lunch meds down 30 minutes. This is easier in primary with less teachers so you get consistency.
Maybe working on friendships. Have one child he likes over for a play and develop his confidence with one child. If he is acting out because he is craving acceptance, this should decrease if he has a friend.
Therapy is a good idea if you can find someone good!!! If you talk to your school they may incorporate this in class work.
[QUOTE=Tabby15]
Mariaven, we changed schools because the my son's teachers did not believe that ADHD existed(!) and the principal of the school would do nothing about the bullying. My son of course, brings along all his behaviours to the new school but at least he has a teacher experienced in kids with ADHD and knows how to deal with him. Our challenge is to make sure that he doesn't ostracise every single kid in his age group with his typical ADHD behaviour. Although saying that, he is a sweet, kind and considerate kid, it's just that he goes a bit haywire in the school yard - so many kids....so little time! he just gets overexcited and becomes full on and annoying.
[/QUOTE]
Actually I am trying to find a school where there is more awareness about adhd. It is very difficult here where I live, and we don't have special acommodations for adhd kids in regular schools. I already found one which was recommended by my ds's psych. It is diffucult to enter due to high demand for placements, but I already sent a form and was asked to wait for availability. It is not very near my home, but I do whatever it takes so my kid feels the best I can.
Mariaven39193.7401273148DS8 is in a social skills group at school - i think it's called cooperative learning. in addition, he has an IEP, and the school offers community based learning where he goes on field trips with a few other students. he also has a behavioral support plan that documents and monitors his ability to improve in areas like raising his hand, etc. there's a behavioral support counselor that meets with him weekly to discuss his behavior.
i'd say that it helps - call the school counselor and ask about whether they have a program that assists with this.
Hey happyrock,
thanks for those suggestions.
Mariaven, I don't know if you have already done this, but I found it helpful to take in a booklet to my son's school on ADHD. This booklet was directed at teachers and how to teach and deal with these kids in a classroom situation. They seemed to accept it quite well and were interested.
Actually what I did was to take all the information the psychologist recommended to school. They have applied it to some extent, but I still feel that my ds needs more direct supervision and guidance. The fact is that nowadays (in my country) it is very difficult to find schools with few students per class. I would say that a good number would be about twenty students per class. My son's school has around 30 to 35 students in a classroom and it is humanly impossible for a teacher to try to please everybody's needs the best way. So...
But it would be very interesting to bring a booklet with adhd information to the teachers. I was a teacher before, and I remember having a diabetic student; her mom brought me all the information about the disease and its treatment and I really appreciated that. It helped me a lot in understanding the disease better and more capable of helping the student at any paticular event.
[QUOTE=Tabby15]Mariaven, I don't know if you have already done this, but I found it helpful to take in a booklet to my son's school on ADHD. This booklet was directed at teachers and how to teach and deal with these kids in a classroom situation. They seemed to accept it quite well and were interested.[/QUOTE]
Which booklet did you bring? It's a great idea.
we started social skills training at the beginning of April and per insurance, it is a one time deal thast will go for 90 days and then thats it. It is working, however, as his teacher told me even yesterday that he is getting better and better on the playground. We went on vacation during spring break and we noticed that he was able to just start playing with others without too much difficulty. Something he could never do before.Hi,
I'm wondering how many of you out there have had any success with social skills training for your child? My 10yr old son started a new school this year because he was being bullied at his last school. He started off well but then his anti-social behaviours kicked in again and he started to rapidly lose friends and be called 'crazy' or 'psycho' by the other kids. He does things like jump the queue, knock kids hats off (thinking this if funny!), disregard personal space, lose it completely if teased..all that sort of thing. He's not like this all the time but can very easily get over-excited. He's on Ritalin and it works but it doesn't help in this area. We would so much like him to make friends and keep friends.
Any advice as I think this is probably the most major problem that he has and he now considers himself as unlikeable.
thanks..
My son is taking a social skills class with 6 other ADHD kids. So far, I would recommend it. He also sees a child therapist (going on 5 mos) who claims to be teaching him social skills -- I would not recommend this.
therapy for us has been a God Send... my son loves going and is doing very well with the social skills.I happen to have a very similar situation; just yesterday I spoke to his psychologist who has been teaching him social skills for about 8 months now. I have noticed lately at school birthday parties that my son is being a little rejected by others. The others seem to be extremely smart kids and mine is too naive, so you guess the rest. I was asking the psychologist if a change of school would be beneficial for him; I mean, finding him a school with less kids per class so he could have more direct supervision and care. She told me that changing him of school would not do much socially; he will always carry the same traits with him and will always find the same kind of kids. She also told me that the social skills learning process is very slow. I need to be very patient and be very clear that my son in being taught on how to deal with bullying and daily situations the best way, but I should never expect him to change his personality much from what he is... This issue hurts a lot, but I hope that with time my son gets more mature and able to react properly to this kind of behavior.
I am still considering a change of school.