socializing with other ADHD children | ADHD Information

I think its great.  For starters, it helps any child who thinks they are different to know there are lots of other kids out there just like them...so they really are not all that different.  No need to feel self conscious about themselves.  I do agree I'd want to be sure the other kids (adhd or not) are from good families who are involved with their kids and are helping to mold their child into a good person.  Sometimes I have hesitance about other kids just because I know how uninvolved the parent is and I worry about parents who don't discipline at all because then their kid is teaching my kid behaviors they get away with, but which I won't allow with my mine...so its kind of like a tight rope.  But, all in all, I think its great he has a group of friends, regardless of their makeup.

That being said....at my son's little gym class last week, I was watching all the other boys while they were waiting in line.  Not one of them stood still, just waiting.  All were jumping/hopping/swinging arms, etc...sometimes I wonder....aren't all boys like this?  Why do we put so much pressure on them to walk like little robots everywhere? And by we, I mean the system.  When things get pointed out to me about my son and I see every other little boy doing the same thing I just gotta wonder.

myjeffrey39195.361712963

Thanks for the various perspectives on this. I just kept thinking that we are working really hard on self-regulation techniques with the OT and at home, and perhaps these boys are not the best influence. But your responses are pretty insightful and helpful.

myjeffrey--I know just what you mean. The difference is that the non-ADHDers know how to self-regulate as demanded by the environment, especially in class.  They know when they can let loose, and usually don't cross that invisible line even when they let loose.

This topic made me remember myself and my friend as teens- we are both ADHD.  One impulsive girl impulsively going along with the other's impulsive decisions added up to tons of fun, but maybe not from our parents perspective.  It got us into a bit of trouble, too.  Apparently our parents viewed our 10 week "road trip" when we were 16 as running away. 

Keep in mind that we were both undiagnosed then- I would hope that if our parents had recognized this impulsivity as problematic they would have kept a closer eye on us.

As far as I am concerned my son needs to know how to relate to all kids.  I don't think of my son as a social outcast and besides just because he has ad/hd doesn't make him one either.  He is a human being.  My concern would be more with whether these boys are "good" boys.  My other concern would be if the parents are involved in their children lifes.  I'd rather have my son playing with another ad/hd child with loving and concerned parents than with a hoodlum or some child that the parents let roam free and don't handle the behaviors at hand.  Hope this makes sense. 

 

I can give a different perspective since I have a job where I spend a lot of time around high schools and high school students.

First of all, we have a ds 7 yrs old in 1st grade. He also has ADHD friends that we have over for play dates and parties. I can relate when you say the parties are wild. We've had a lot of fun during these times, but we also have those moments when we are just trying to make sure the boys stay safe while they are hyper.

My job provides opportunities to get to know high school students from many different school systems. And, it seems as though every high school has a group of "ADHD kids" that hang out as a group. Of course, there is usually a special ed teacher in charge. From what I see, these groups are good as they help kids know more about themselves as they get to know each other. I've also seen that although the ADHD teenagers have their issues, they are smart, fun, happy, relational beings, and have a sense of belonging with each other.

It seems as though there are many different types of groups of kids in your average school. I think it's normal and healthy to allow your child to make his own friends - those he can relate to and give him a sense of identity. But I also think he needs to practice how to conduct himself with other types of groups, just because that's how life is (we sometimes have to socialze with people unlike ourselves). I also agree that it's more important to help your son hang out with other kids who share your sense of values.

Good topic... thanks for bringing it up.

I have a couple questions for parents of ADHD teenagers...

(1) Do ADHD friends help your child maintain their medication routine and/or treatment? (2) Do NON-ADHD kids cause your child to stop taking their meds for any reason?Dad in Akron39194.7171180556

Last month my son turned eight. I asked him who he plays with and sent invitations to every one of the children. It was the wildest birthday party that I have ever had. Of the eight at the party, five showed clear ADHD symptoms. The parents of these five either dropped and split or were very reserved and I had to draw them out.

So my son has gravitated to the ADHD boys at school. This is who he hangs out with. He seems happy with his friendships.

What do you all think of this? OK, he is not a social outcast and has found a group where he does not feel different. But is this good for him? Is it good long term? I'm not really sure what to think.

 

DS is 11. He has 2 boys he plays with on a regular basis. One of them clearly has some issues. I'm not sure what they are. I really don't want to ask his parents. He is in the LLS class at school. The other boy has ADHD and some anger issues according to his mom. He seems like a nice boy. They all seem to get along pretty well.

Ds does play with non adhd kids as well. I am just happy to see him playing with his peers. He used to enjoy playing with much younger kids. We went to a friend's out of town. Rather then playing with her 10 year old daughter,he was playing with her 5 year old daughter.