Hi
I new to this, my son who is 9 next month has just been diagnosed with ADD and ODD, and I'm so relieved that someone is finally taking me seriously, I have spent the last 8 years going from crisis to crisis, I have lost count of the amount of times I have cried my self to sleep thinking that I must have gone wrong somewhere, I have nearly left several times as I felt that I just coundn't cope cope, thankfully my husband has been very surportive and has helped me through, I just glad that there is now some help and support available, (at last) the amount of times that I really didn't think my son would get to his 9th bday as I felt like throtterling him, well I now have hope that he will, he started medication on Weds and it seems to be helping, school is noticingf a difference already, they say that he is acutally concentrating now, which is a first, and this means that he is not getting so frustated, and stroppy, he is also better at home, I don't now spend hours listening to him trying to kick the door down, or put holes in the wall at bed time, which used to be a nightly occurance (hence the wanting to throttle him!!!)
We did try all the behavioural techniques in the book and some besides, we also tried omeaga 3,6, & 9 oils, along with cutting out all additives, refined sugars, and colourings etc, which did help a little, as no longer getting the imeediated bad moods after chocolate for example, poor love easter was fun Karab chocolate, and sugar free sweets all the way while his three siblings had the normal easter delights, he was good though knew it was for a reason...I think he is just as unhappy with the situation as us!
Well thats me done for now, it nice to know that I'm not alone and that my chiuld is not the only one that seems to have nothing but strops...although that does seem to be changing, so hopefully in time he will be just like any other child a little bit naghty but a lot nice, that I can cope with!
good support for everyone in the family is a good idea not just the one who has difficulties.
so glad you posted , it encourages me to think that some parents really do care for thier kids even when thier overwhelmed and feel like through up thier hands . i work with the kids that have opposite parents where the kids are thrown away and abondoned . and do to fate they wind up with me , while i try to help them cope with years of neglect as a simple staff person .
so even though i sympathize with youre frustration im actually very glad your seeking support because its the family issues that sometimes make the difference between a good citizen and an adult offender.
if ADD is not hereditary then daffy duck isnt nuts but it can skip gens.
their are many avenues to deal with this constuctively.
enviroment alone dont work
structure alone dont work
routine alone dont work
meds alone dont work
activities alone dont work
stimuluses alone dont work
therapies alone dont work
interviews about feelings alone dont work
consequinces and rewards alone dont work
peer pressures alone dont work
self frustrations alone dont work
emtional development alone dont work
creative outlets alone dont work
five seperate adult relationships that can interviene later in lifewhen teen issues become adult issues. alone dont work
but they all need to lead to one place. a comfort zone where an ADD can work these issues out for themselves. otherwise when the corrector is absent the add is without personal connection to correction.
im not a professional at this but i am expossed to a wide scope of add issues
ive had add-i unmedicated as a child and as an adult raised by an adhd mother
i work in a facility for teens that are adhd with other disorders , there with us if they respond to therapy they make it through school , if not their actions indicate they will wind up in jail. but for now they're just kids in facilty where slow progress takes months to make small steps on thier own.
also on this site i take a stab from time to time to offer an insight or two or 100.
so i m hoping to apply some template to my understanding of this plethera of experiences .
meds alone dont work
session therapy alone dont work
home therapy alone dont work
structure alone dont work
routine alone dont work
ect alone dont work
somehow theres got to be an indivdule plan tailored for each kid in each family in each school in each class but that seem so daunting. though overwhelming to start it gets easier as you go taking off what irrelavant and adding more pertinate
info its intresting to watch med changes effect school and peer pressure affect meds changes . luckily i dont know how but my daughter is not ADD yet but i know it can also devolpe in thier late teens and go untreatedor uncoped with for many years while thier lives flounder about. the later it devolps the more difficult it is to adjust to it and leads to cronic drug abuse so thats one thing you be thankful for. though it doesnt seem to make a difference in your situation.
so im going to try and ask the ADD community here to help me make a template that tracks the issues . one that can be printed and given to therapist , doctor teacter , ex - spouse, and to child when the become adult. you are the person im doing this for well not you specifically but for a parent in the early stages of a person with ADDs life.
something not to eleborate covers three month periods can be divided into four parts meds, school, routine, outbursts so that privacy can be respected simply by using scissors to cut one of the fourths away .
i do know that at that age frustration is a trigger and correction can escalate to an out burst. take that with a grain of salt cause that might happen only once out fifteen times , but they cant shut it off while they keep getting triggered by being being corrected.
im trained to use non verbal corrections with some of these kids. trying to get them to connect the correction themselves . if i keep coming up and correcting them voicestrously and they dont understand why the just keep making the mistake . if i say you should - - - -- ? what am i trying to say? -- -- --
and they finish the sentence for me i walk em throuh the new choice physically saying so you felt like ???? silently letting them say it "stupid" i say you mean embarrassed? and so when feel thaat way the next time you can - --- -- -- put my head down and think with my eye closed " ill say ok " lets try it agian but this time you tell me how .
next time they come up with something else or might try to suggest something more age appropriate. ahdh get down on themselves pretty hard its my ihumble opinion that i an add-i like to blame others alot so when i cant do something that other people seem to do easily it must be cause im stupid and i beat myself up. if someone else tries to interviene imy frustration transferes to them . well not always but sometimes.
know what his creative stimulus's are can bring on a leverage of reward if he gets this part of his routine completede before lights out he can get a little stimulus reward to take to his room .
i appologize for being unclear and hap hazzard . i have to do alot of iterating before i finish .
i typically post my rough draft , then add/delete some things then go back and correct my spelling and grammer.
i want to create a new thread about creating a template that the ADHD community can help create. so im going to use this post to refine my attempt to get community created jounal template introduced.
i dont like having to pay for so many books all the time . yet they are usually worth what i pay for them . just that its like because im not a therapist or doctor my opinion isnt as valid as the consenses of doctors . which dont put thier findings in easy to understand consensus terms . well then how about a peridyme then we the community will put together some tactics and they choose to have a consenses on it. .
just know youre not alone and people do want to support you and even help a little. i like ograms marble system
Sammo39196.3554282407Hi Gwen and welcome,
I'm here in peaks and valleys - sometimes not for months at a time - but it's always nice to "come home" and swap stories, vent, and realize you are NOT alone in this. We "get" it. I'm so happy for you that your husband is supportive! There are many tales here of spouses who aren't.
Mine is pretty classic, I think, except for the fact that - lucky me - I have twin boys with ADD. Rages were very common in our house, some learned from Daddy who has ADD as well, in my mind (they DO suggest it's hereditary).
Anyhow, our recipe for success is Omega 3s and Magnesium Calcium, but other - prescribed or alternative - work for others. The trick is finding the combination that works for your boy. I'm going through a great period with both boys right now. Sounds like you may have stumbled onto something great with the meds!
I would also suggest trying to get your hands on a book called "The Explosive Child". I read it in one night - it described my oldest boy to a T. With him, you kind of have to "go in the back door" (is how I put it) in order to deal with his anger.
Good luck!
Hi
thank you for your support, and making me feel so welcome, I'm so glad to have found some where that if I say I feel like throterling my child people understand, rather than phone the nearest social services!!!!
I have found lots of new ideas, and now have many more questions for my sons phychitrist, I just wish that I had sought help for him years ago, as I have spent years thinking that I was doing something wrong, now at least I know that I'm not to blame, which it an amazing comfort.
And as for how you manage with twins thats hard enought,....but twins with ADHD may hat is off to you!!!