Beautiful 16 yr old daugther w/ADD | ADHD Information

Hello there I am new to this so hear goes. Is anyone out there dealing with a teenage girl in highschool with ADD. This first year in High School has been a nightmare. I was reading the post from noodlesmommy describing the anxiety. Sara is showing signs of extreme stress and anxiety. I had not ever heard of Quanfacine so I am going to talk to her doctor about that and her other medication. She is currently taking Adderall XR she seems ok on this, but Sara is normally very sweet and loving but having to deal with girls at school she has developed a hateful side but maybe this is due some from the Adderall. Just last night she cried and cried she is behind in several classes and we are struggling to help get her caught up also the added pressure of her Music and tryouts for the Drill Team next week is making her even more anxious. It is breaking my heart to see her struggling so much she is very talented and now she wants to quit her music, she says so she can stay up with her classes better. but she enjoys and loves her music and dance. I know she is just feeling overwhelmed and as am I. It is nice to see other people out there struggling with the same kind of issues sometimes I feel like I'm the only one. You know like all my friends have the "Super Kids" highest honors, excel at everything they do, they don't have to worry if there child is getting their homework done so on and so forth. Sorry this is so wordy haven't had anyone that can relate to what I'm going through. I'll shut up now. I have twin 16 year old daugthers and both are adhd. One is more concerned about getting the grades and the other is more laid back. There are times when they were overwhelmed with issues at school. One of the girls began taking med way earlier than the other. The one who started taking them later was so overwhelmed with home work that it would take hours and no matter how much she studied she would not pass the test. Once the correct dose was given she was much better. I also find a lot of time if the issues are  with grades the teacher just does not understand the situation. With my 2 competative swimming is a big deal and that really relaxes them so if she is into music I would try to get her to continue.Wow you have a double challenge. My daughter is more like yours that is laid back. I knew in first grade there was a problem I asked what grades she got and she said I got an A,B,C and a F and she was just as proud of the F as the others. Sigh......right there I new we were in for a challenge she goes "what Mom" there just Letters. Oh Boy...

She gets very overwhelmed and anxious with all the homework and assignments she is required to keep up with and your right homework can take hours. She does 20 minutes then I have her take a break then 20 more minutes and so on and so forth. She also does not test well her A Level monitor at school has her do testing with her in a quieter environment and she also gets more time which does help.

She is continuing with her music and dance. It is her stress reliever. What I see with alot of her teachers is that they either don't understand or they just flat don't want too. I have had some teachers that have been very uncooperative which just adds to the frustration in getting your child what they need. Not all kids fit in the straight edged perfect box.

What meds do your girls take. Mine is currently taking Adderal XR but I am going to visit with her doctor since she has struggled so much this year.
my girls take concerta 54 and 10 mg of ritlan if needed for homework. Sometime swim practice runs late and they need the extra boostYour daughter sounds almost exactly like Sara. Sara loves to be involved also. This year she wanted to do Band, Drill team, athletics and she loves the teen geared group at church called Fuel. But she quickly saw it was too much for her (she was determined to sign up for all of these and we decided it might be the best way to teach her she is not able to do it all). Now that we are doing her schedule for next year she is not signing up for athletics even though she enjoys it she does not excel at it and it is too time demanding.

I feel Sara would do much better in a smaller school setting, but where we live there are not any private schools we could afford or that are close. We live in rural New Mexico.

She is not taking extra music lessons but even the time demand of our band program can be challenging and Sara is on the Flag drill team for the band. They are practicing nightly right now for tryouts next week. This is where it gets sticky she loves to perform and this something she can do in front of her peers. She was trying out for cheerleading (yikes !) I absolutely told her no way she would not be able to handle it. Flags are not as time consuming but maybe that is even too much. I will have to step back and re-evaluate her activities.

Our school system here is excellent we have people move to our town so their kids can go to school here. But of course with that the class sizes are larger. She has an "A Level" monitor, she is an aid that helps us with her grades and getting us study partners and tutors for her.

If you don't mind me asking what medication does your daughter take. I really feel Sara's needs to be changed.

She gets along well with kids at school she attracts alot of attention from boys (another distraction)which in turn causes animosity from some girls at school. But as Sara says "Mom boys are easier to get along with they are more laid back and not the drama" She has a couple of really good girlfriends and then several friends which are guys". But for the most part she is very well liked in school by her peers and her teachers.

I will be visiting with her guidance Counselor this week and your right I will be re-looking at her commitments and priorities.


Thanks for responding.

I have a 16 year old girl who has become overwhelmed this year.  She loves to be involved!!!  Her recent bouts of anxiety have been created by the medication causing hyper-focus to a point where she could make no decisions.  How long has she been on her present medication regime? 

We had to be very strict with our daughter on what extras she could do.  When she has too many things on she can't focus and gets really anxious.  Each individual child is different - We know what our daughter can cope with and so we sat down with her and discussed priorities of things -  For example NO1 is school work. She loves her music but she wasn't going to make a career out of it so instead of lessons and doing heaps of practice and exams, she just does band and choir.   She wanted to do sport and looked at the different choices and decided tennis lessons were fun and only 2 hours a week compared to netball or soccer teams that demanded a big commitment.

Our daughter is in a small boarding school (We live 1 hour away).  Our town has shocking high schools and she is quite bright so it was really our only choice.  Luckily she comes home every weekend.  It is teaching her independence and helping with time management.  Last year she topped 3 subjects and was in the top 4 for the rest.  So obviously it is working.  This year (we begin in February in Australia) she started senior school (2 years then they can go to university).  Things have become serious and difficult.  Put this with medication not working effectively and we had a very anxious and worried child.

I would be talking to her doctor about the medication and look at her committments/ priorities/ time management. 

I agree with you in that girls can be dreadful to each other.  A feeling of social isolation can also cause huge anxiety. Time to be a detective!!

Good luck!