I’m new and VERY confused | ADHD Information

My son is only 5 years old and was diagnosed at age 4 1/2 years totally based on home behaviors. He was out of control most of the time and we had major safety issues. At pre-school he was very quiet, well behaved, and respectful.  The teachers were always so surprised when I told them of the things that happened at home- they just couldn't see my Sam doing these things. For a long time I thought it was me- what am I doing wrong for him to act like this at home, but not at school. We went for much counseling to help with discipline at home, which really didn't work. I thought maybe school was more structured than home, although we had always had a pretty set routine. When he was 4 1/2 our family life was so stressful and our poor son was struggling at home. I was so distraught over this- if he was struggling at home with his family how was he ever going to make it in the real world? So we spent an entire summer getting evaluations and second opinions, until we finally had an answer- ADHD. We started the medication and within days we had a totally different child. Since our child has calmed down we've been able to see more of his true personality. He is a quiet, shy, and more introverted.  From what we've learned these types of children are the most difficult to diagnose because their behaviors may not be consistent at home and in school.  If the medications have helped your son, then the diagnosis is probably right. You will probably see improvement in school, his social relationships, your home life, and your son's self esteem.  Good luck to you.

 

Sounds like perfect structure!!! You dont need to buy a rewards chart. You can make one. Buy some stickers, very inexpensive..............make a calendar with paer and markers and your checklist. Gets a check for each taks completed. If all checks gets a sticker. Get so many stickers (maybe 7 in a row, a weeks worht) then gets a reward. Rewrds dont have to cost money either, an extra dessert. An extra tv show on the weekend. All kinds of things.If you are unsure always feel free to get a second opinion. I agree that your son is holding it together at school and letting it all out when he gets home. My daughter's issues are across the board no matter where she is. If you are unsure about the meds hold off and try some of the other suggestions here. Structure, structre,  struture :o). So many kids respond so well to behavior and rewards charts. Good luck, you're the mom go with your gut.What is the marble system? This is all so new to me. We are VERY tight financially so we can't afford to be buying anything for a reward chart. Any suggestions as far as that goes- what else we could do? Oh, I forgot to add something. As far as structure goes, we think we have structure but can you elaborate a little on that, please? I will tell you what we do and let me know if it is structured. Every morning when he gets up, I make him get dressed and make his bed. Then he will eat breakfast, take his vitamin and brush his teeth. Then after he does all of that, then he can play until he has to go out to catch the bus. Then, as soon as he gets home from school, before he does ANYTHING else he has to get his homework done- then he can play. We try to teach him to do his chores before he plays. We definately have a routine- is that the same as structure? Then at around 7pm he gets his bath then has a little snack then brushes his teeth then bedtime. On school nights, bedtime is between 7:30 and 8:00. We are very strict when it comes to our routine. We can be flexible though but only if we HAVE to be. Ever since he was 2 months old we have been on a routine because that is when he started sleeping through the night. After he is done eating a meal, he has to take his own dishes to the kitchen. Well, are we structured? The marble system is the top post on this section of the board. You can use activities for rewards. Time playing board games with parents, etc. Make a list of things he likes to do that you can use as rewards. We use things like staying up late 1/2 hour, extra 1/2 hour on tv, free pass on one chore.

You don't have to buy marbles....use construction paper to make little tickets, or as someone has said use checkmarks...red for unwanted behaviors, another color (his favorite?) for wanted behaviors.  The key is to positively reinforce the behaviors that you want him doing....for example, sitting for 5 minutes at the table...once he consistently does that time, up it to 6, then so on and so on.  Eventually, he will sit for the entire meal. 

Focus on one or two behaviors at a time, so he is not overwhelmed.  Once these are mastered, replace them with a few other things he needs to work on.  Consistency is the key.

Here are a couple more ideas. Maybe after school, he needs to burn off some steam because he's been trying so hard to hold it together during the day. Maybe you could provide him with a safe activity like rollerblading, biking, trampoline, etc. Also, since he like to destroy things, provide him with a box of stuff he can destroy, old radios, electronics, etc. that he can take apart at will. It's not uncommon that ADHD kids like to do this. HTH

Hello everyone. I have a very confusing issue. My son is 6(going to be 7 on May 18th). A couple of months ago he was diagnosed by a phsychiatrist that he has ADHD. The thing that doesn't make sense to me is that all of his teachers say he is really good in school and they love to be around him and he is doing very well in school. No problems whatsoever when it comes to school, but home is an entire different story. When we sit down to eat or do his homework, he cannot sit still and he also gets up and walks around at meal times. We tell him countless number of times to sit. He does probably for 2 seconds then he is back to squirming and walking around. He also doesn't focus on tasks and on homework. He also lies CONSTANTLY. He also acts on impulsivity. Now this is just at home now. No complaints from the school. He is VERY hyperactive. When we do calm him down, it is literally for only a few seconds and he is running around or jumping around- just being very hyper. He has a 2, almost 3 year old sister and he plays so rough with her, you can pretty much guarantee she is going to get hurt. He is also VERY distructive like with his toys and with household items. It seems that no matter what consequence we give him, it doesn't work. He also has a bossy mouth that won't quit. We just don't know what we are doing wrong. We tried taking a toy away. Now we are down to taking EVERYTHING out of his room except his bed and dresser. It seems to work for a LITTLE while but before you know it, he is back to being very hard to handle. Every once in a while, he will throw the most horrible temper tantrum imaginable. We have an appointment on May 11th to get him put on medication, namely concerta, or whatever the doctor sees fit. But there is a small part in our mind that really wonders if he even has ADHD even though the phsychiatrist diagnosed him with it since he does real well in school. Does any of this make any sense? Any suggestions? Sorry this is so lengthy.  Thank you in advance.   

My youngest was wonderful in the first grade and the teachers sang her praises. By the 3rd grade, the demands of school exceeded her ability to deal with the demands of school. We just dealt with the hyperactivity and moodiness because we did no know that was so abnormal (we thought she got the worst of each of us).

When she started failing; anxiety, depression, rages and defiance ruled our lives. We got diagnosis and started treatment and things are so much better this year. She is successful, happy and keeping friends. I only wish we'd have recognized it earlier and not put our daughter through so much pain she wanted to die.

This year I saw the oldest starting to develope anxiety and her normal As were slipping. She had lots of other signs of ADD and we had tried for years to help her learn organizational skills. I started treatment on her because I did not want to see her suffer like the youngest. We were lucky to catch it early and save her the pain.

You are lucky and can deal with things before they get to crisis. The behavior at home may be an expression of frustration at school dealing with ADHD. He has to keep it in at school but can let go at home where it is safe.

You might look at ograms marble system for a positive reinforcement behavior plan. This should work better than taking things away (at least it does for us).

As you go through this journey, we are here to support and help you find the information you need.

is he as structured at home, as far as schedulas and such?  have you tried any type of reward system?Hi and welcome I just read your post, I have a 6 yr old 7 in august,  Kindergaten, and has done well in school, is nice with his friends but lately has been pushing the whole families buttons.  Total disrepect, saying "stupid", I tell him to do something and doesn't, makes huge messes in the bathroom toothpaste, etc.  I must say his room is immaculate.  But major back talk.  I grounded him two days this week. no playing with his best friend through the lane.  He whinns when he doesn't get his way, for very long periods.  My son 10 yrs. is adhd and i am wondering if He might have add or adhd.  He isn't hyper but just disregards everything I say.  I am hoping it is a stage, because he is an angel at school and a loving boy.  My 10 year old is also on Daytrana 15mg and it has worked wonders.  Although a little weepy at times.  I take him off on weekends.  Back to the 6 year old ,I ground him from his friends and that kills him.  I think you have to find what he loves and take it from him a day or then two or even a week and see the change.  Or there is the marble system which I haven't looked at yet but plan on doing that.  You're not alone, having the same probs and don't know the answer.  Im hoping it is a 6 year old stage.  Good luck

From reading your post, I think your son was correctly diagnosed!

I can only speak from my son's experiences. He started meds at the end of 1st grade, and boy did it change our life!

He had been through a really hard year with the kids labeling him, he was so impulsive that the teacher would tell me he didn't even realize what he did until AFTER it happened!

Thank goodness for his teacher! She really helped him, and me!

We started meds around April/may. He went through the not eating/sleeping with concerta, so we tried adderall xr(time released)- he went totally crazy. Poor little guy became mean, angry, got in kids faces, NOT the son I know and love - it even blew the teacher away. The doctor stopped it immediately!!

The teacher said to stop giving him anything, that nothing would happen to him if he just came to school HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH & impulsive because school was almost out and report cards were already completed.

So, we began the medicine ride. We started with a psychomacologist and spent the summer going back and forth, with the dosages for concerta again. We finally leveled off in the fall and added guanfacine for his overstimulation.

My son is at the same level he has been at since Christmas time in second grade and very successful!!!!

Hang in there with the meds, it takes a while to find the one for your son and his dosage! Post here, eveybody will help!

Beth