The school called....not good | ADHD Information
macsmom, your situation sounds almost identical to the one we have been dealing with, even down to the pencil issue. We started on tenex (thank you to all of you who posted about it on the boards here or i would have never known about it) and started a new IEP. and we are doing much better, maybe that would be something to look into.twolitlboyz, I think that I was one of the ones who posted about tenex/guanfacine. I am so glad that it is helping you as much as it has helped chase. I, too, learned about it on this message board, and I am committed to passing along the information that I have found to be useful to other parents that are struggling. It seems that some doctors do not let you know what options there are out there, us parents have to stick together. I'll join this pro Guanfacine bandwagon
. MY daughter STRUGGLES with tics and we started Clonidine, and now Guanfacine to help keep her on stimulants until the summer. I thas made a HUGE difference. I think we'll end up going off stimulants altogether once school gets out, but for now we are least able to keep her on. I cannot believe how CALM she is. And she is not really the hyper type, or so I thought.4myson, I wholeheartedly disagree with you. I have seen my son's school exaggerate behavior repeatedly. They are paranoid about the potential legalities, and therefore intentionally exaggerate to protect themselves. Paranoid about future Columbines, they misrepresent behaviors that are innocuous. These poor kids wind up with an undeserved wrap sheet, especially the ones with more pronounced impulse issues. The schools create a documentation trail right out of the gate that could be used in a future hearing if needed. And because the behaviors are regularly exaggerated, the papertrails do not accurate reflect what the student is really like. It's a complete injustice. The school staff needs to be more accountable for the accuracy of the documentation they are generating. When I hired an education advocate. the documentation miraculously, stopped -- and it was not because my son suddenly improved. There was nothing morally righteous about what they were doing. I agree that he needs to see a doctor that is an expert in the area and with the different type of drugs. I think from what you have described a thourough examination would be appropriate like your doctor suggested. I hope you can find what works for your son. I have a 5 1/2 year old too and it makes my heart bleed for these kids. They deserve a better opportunity in life.
I know in the DFW area that Children's Hospital has a program that work with children with issues such as you have described. It is suppose to be a day program( you go home at the end of a day) and they receive daily behavioral lessons as well as school etc... until they are able to get what they need and go back to their school settings. I imagine there is more to it, but I talked to them early on and don't remember everything about it.
Goodluck and God Bless... I know this can be very frustrating and difficult. Hang in there and don't forget to take care of yourself in the process.
NoTellin again with all due respect... the majority of schools out there don't exaggerate behaviors. Matter of fact a lot of things are put on the back burner/or documented until they see it is becoming a pattern and causing problems for both the child and others. I wish that you would step in the shoes of many of our classroom teachers and for that matter schools. It is scarey to think about some of the situations coming across these days in the classroom.
Just last week we had a child bring a pocket knife to the classroom. I work in a reputable school. Do you think it should of been overlooked by the schools just because it was a small pocket knife? I once saw a pencil stabbed into another child's arm and it caused some serious problems. Do you think that should of been overlooked? Just watch the news. Many of the most serious situations across the nation are brought on by individuals that when smaller. parents and schools, overlooked their problems. Now they are doing random shootings in their schools. I have to wonder if we as a society had helped these children when they were younger if we would be seeing some of the same things today. I'm not saying that macsmom's child is on this level. I'm just saying that there are children that parents and teachers never did anything about.
I served a student when I was a very young just out of college teacher (over 20 years ago), and he had some serious problems. I wonder if I did him justice handling his problems the way I did. I just gave him detentions and spoke with mom on occasion. As a 28 year old man he committed suicide. Such a young man with so much to offer. He just never got the help he needed as a younger boy. His mom and I are friends today and she will readily admit to you that she made mistakes with her son. I wish that I had, had the maturity to notice signs back then. Maybe I could of made a difference.
Macsmom, if you feel that you need to find the right help for your child then by all means do it. What is it going to hurt to check it out? I'd rather know that as a parent I tried everything available within reason to get my child the assistance they need. If they don't need psyche services, great. But if they do then we as parents need to step up to the plate. Take care and know that you will get through all this. Someone once told me that we get stronger and wiser with each and every tough situation we are given.
4mykid/4myson one in the same... can't seem to get my first username back and running ...cookie problem I think
Doesn't this seem like a medication issue, as in the wrong med or the wrong dosage? I would seek out a pharmocology management expert in your area. I assume the pediatrician is also prescribing the medication? Is she a behavioral pediatrician? Emergency psyche services seems over the top.
You did not see any of this behavior, so you don't know how often he was out of his seat, how often he hit, or whether he did not stab or did stab with a pencil. The problem is that schools exaggerate behaviors. Have you seen this at home? Do you think there is a "violence" issue that needs to be dealt with? Do you think he need emergency psyche services?
NoTellin39209.7062152778But that does vary from school to school, district to district...my son has been in at least 3 fights at school this year, 2 on the playground and one on the bus, and even though these were real fights, no one over reacted....maybe it matters where you live and the size of the school district? Mine is quite small, as is the community, and the teachers, bus driver and principal have all been quite helpful and calm about things that happened before we got Chase on an even keel medication wise.notellin, I am sorry that your district is so touchy that they cannot look at things on a case by case basis....that would annoy me as well!chasesmom7939209.3974884259Macs teacher AND the principle called Friday requesting that I come and get him. He was so disruptive that she coudlnt teach. Running around in and out of class, hitting pushing other kids and stabbing one at least with a pencil...or trying too. He said he didnt actualy do it, she said he did. He ahs been hyper this week more so than he had been. He is on 54 mg Concerta daily and seemed to be doing well. I dont know whats happened. I thought we were doing good finaly, and now this. His pediatrician actually told me to take him to the ER to get the phsyc services started, that it would be quicker that way than thru her and the violence needed to be dealt with. I asked her if that was somewhat over the top and she said no. I havent done it yet, he had a visit with his dad this weekend, but i dont knwo if I should do it monday or not. Im so confused. When his meds are working, he is the best little thing. Somewhat quiet, but ahppy and interactive etc. What happened over night? Anyone else had this happen with their kid. Mac is only 5.5 yrs old. He doesnt know what was wrong with him that day. I got him home and gave him 15 mgs of ritalin and he calmed down and I again asked him what happened, and again he didnt know. I told him we would get him help for thsi and mommy will take care of him, and he was reassured by this. He wants to be good. He knows something's amiss here. God this sucks.Isn't he already under the care of the Psych who evaluated him? That is who I would call about it.
Yeah I agree, it does s**k!
My guess is that your son either needs to have his meds upped or to try a new med all together. The daytrana patch is supposed to work quite well, as long as the side effects don't out weight the positive effects for your son. Also, like my son, your's is easily overstimulated as well as impulsive. I would also ask for the guanfacine. It really helps smooth out the edges!! Once when we upped the concerta, that didn't help until we upped the guanfacine! Ask your prescribing doctor!!
Mine has been doing great at 72mgs of concerta for over 2 years now. DS is almost 10.He went on a growth spurt. Now his clothes don't fit and his meds don't work!
We are about to try the daytrana patch. That should be fun again with the upping and downing to see if it is even worth staying with! I hate this so much.
I feel so bad for my son who is very impulsive and HHHHHHHHHHHHHHH of the adhd. He is on meds for a reason.
So he goes to baseball and can't control his overstimulation and ends up withthe kids mad at him or worse them hurting him. When will this nightmare rollercoaster ever end????
I feel it for my son who never complains about anything! I also feel so bad for my son having to suffer with it
I can't help my being so sensitive about this. He has the social exclusions that seem to come with adhd, but he never complains. He has had the labeling that comes with adhd, but never complains. He has had all the lousy side effects that comes with the meds., but never complains.
I just want him to have a great life, like all the rest of us here on these boards!!
You defintely need to talk to the presribing doctor. My daughter's ADHD symptoms can get worse on too much stimulant.4myson
I have to agree with wonderwoman. Everyone is entitled to thier opinion. The point of this site is to be able to vent. I have a 12 year old with ADHD and I agree in some ways with everyone. School does NOT always understand. I had school call this year to ask me to please speak to my daughter about her bad behaviors because she was pulling at her lashes and scratching unnecessarily (ok her tics are a bad behavior???). Then again, I am total agreement with you that children, ALL children, ADHD or any disability should not be given a free pass. We as parents owe them the effort to help them be able to handle their behaviors. It is not acceptable to stab some one with a pencil or spit in their face (both things happened to my ADHD child at age 5, she did nothing back). I know a lot of teachers and many, many parents do make excuses for their kids and pave the way to avoid adversity. Doing them a disservice as they do not learn how to handle it not do they learn consequences.
We have to be more aware as parents... I never plan to use my son's ad/hd as an excuse. In my opinion, I believe that we have to stop making excuses for our children. They may have ad/hd but that doesn't give them the excuse to bully, hurt, or harm others.
I still stand by my words... live in the shoes of a classroom teacher. You'll see things much differently.
I'm not saying that every teacher out there is perfect but on the same hand not every parent out there is perfect either. I'm both and I'm certainly not a perfect human being. What I am trying to say when you have a class of 20 and 5 of them have ad/hd issues, then it is like having a class of 10 ad/hd issues. These kids (mine included) need to learn that they can't rely on excuses and they certainly can't do things that harm others. They need to learn behavioral strategies to help them in life. My ex is an example of someone whose mother made excuses for him growing up. He now suffers greatly because he never learned how to handle his issues. Ad/hd for one. His mom will out right tell you that she regrets that she didn't get him the help as a child.
Oh and by the way I tell all my teachers to document everything. Yes, NoTellin, I do! It is sadly a world a whole lot different from when we were children . Many parents neglect their children and blame the schools. I'm one of the most positive people I know and the kids are my world. I'm an advocate for ad/hd children as well as others. I still cover everything.
No tellin, sorry if you've experienced some bad issues with your school, but honestly I have to wonder if you had a rough school situation growing up. Sorry, but this is just how I feel. You don't want schools documenting but I bet you document everything you deem imperfect with the school.
I will not be posting any longer on this sight due to all the negativity towards schools and teachers. It is not worth my time. I take pride in what I do as a professional educator and will continue to put 100% towards helping my students . Kids and families are a huge part of my job. I'm the parent educator and teacher educator for my school. I love what I do.
I got on this sight originally because I wanted to help my son. I've learned many good things from this sight over the last year. Yet, recently, I've seen things that sadden me.
Chasemom I have all the respect in the world for you. I wish you and your son the best.
Sorry for all the rambling. It's good to talk to you all again. I have been in hibernation as I call it. Got really depressed and pulled back from everyone. Hope all is well, and thanks for listening.
My son's school exaggerated behaviors. When he was in first grade, he punched his fist into his hand .... and his teacher accussed him of threatening her! This is a boy with zero agressive behaviors!
Life has changed a great deal for us since I pulled my son from that school and began an online/home school program. We're much happier.
boogadoo1- Is he on meds?Yes, chasesmom79, it is definately school district to school district. My son's school was even sending suspension notices for "disrespect" for not following instructions, which from my view was discrimination. He doesn't deserve to have these suspensions on his record--he has ADHD! It was just out of control. Perhaps it was a heavy-handed pressure tactic to get me to run for medication. Hopefully the majority of the schools are not like this. NoTellin39209.7075925926I am happy to say that mine is not like that, in fact, the principal said, without actually saying it of course, that the best cure for the bullying Chase was enduring (by a child about his same size) was for Chase to take care of it once or twice, and lo and behold, that is what happened. We never told Chase to stand up for himself, he just reached the boiling point a few times. Now the child doesn't bother him anymore, and with the guanfacine, Chase can ignore a lot more, and deal more easily. The only thing Chase received was a day off the bus after the fight on the bus, and an ISS after the fight on the playground.My son's school exaggerates the bad behavior as well and it's really annoying. He lightly pushed a child a few months back because the other kid was intentionally standing in front of him and wouldn't move. The Principal called the safety patrol officer in town who in turn called the other kids parents and asked if they wanted to press charges. This is in addition to the repeated phone calls I get at work because he ran in the hallway or made a funny face at someone. It never stops and it's a constant struggle. Never once has he hit anyone or said anything violent and they have him pegged as this terrible kid.