Need help with my six year old please.. | ADHD Information

the hitting stuff is tough because it's not just the kid acting out who has a problem happening--it's the person who got abused.

I wonder what would happen if we reversed the tables [I do this a LOT *chuckle*] and say,

Parent: "You hit Johnny. Do YOU like to be hit?"

Kid *mumble* *mumble* *mumble*

Parent: "Do you think Johnny likes it any better than you do?"

Kid *mumble* *mumble*

Parent: "Yes or no?"

Kid; *mumble* "uh no"

Parent "then what would you want me to do if you were Johnny?"

I've always been pleasantly surprised at what kids will come up with. It's usually pretty creative.

Then--get out the scotch, you are gonna need it




I would take this to another level. Honest.

Get some meds into him first so he can think straight.

First, ask the boy what HE think happened. He may be as frightened by this as you are.

Ask him what he thinks you should do about it. [he'll probably just shrug ] Ask him, "If you were me, what would YOU do about it?"

Then, ask him what plans he can make in the future when he feels that outraged again. [like go for a walk or have the school phone home or...or...or] and work out some plan with him. Be prepared that he may test this a few times to see if anyone helps him before he does it for real.

The reason I say this is because, child or not, we cannot always be there to help another control their behaviour. And what works for us may not work for someone else.

I'm sure, as a parent this is terrifying for you. I had a foster kid with ADHD that threw another kid through a window. Scared the heck outta the school and me! Anyway, it was actually the turning point to improving his behaviour in many ways--so good luck and let us know how you manage...
This is a tough one, becasue if this is out of the ordinary behavior, it is probably due to the medication adjustment. But, obvioulsy he cant be hurting other children while he is adjusted. I agree for the most part this should just be about talking and explaining. MetisRebel is right, make sure he has had his meds and can even comprehend what you are explaining.

First off I'm Amanda and I'm new here. My six year old was dxed with ADHD and placed on Adderall XR 10 mg 2 weeks ago. He's done perfect on his meds. He's a totally different kid. Here's my problem... This morning my son got to coughing and ended up throwing up his Adderall. It was partially dissolved so I didn't dare give him more. I sent him on to school...he throws up in the mornings sometimes b/c of sinus drainage..anyway it wasn't a virus so I sent him on. His teacher called me at 11. She said his behavior today is terrible! He even tried to cut one of the other children with his scissors...he's never, ever tried to hurt anyone else before. She also said she sent him to the water fountain and another teacher found him in the teacher workroom completely disoriented... He couldn't find the water fountain. The nurse checked him out and said he looked okay and by the time the teacher called me he was back to normal. I called the doctor he's not concerned.. but now what do I do for discipline??? In this situation what's appropriate?? The discipline is something we've been working on with the Psychologist... nothing seems to work. But he tried to cut someone... I'm really, really upset about this.  What do you think about the whole thing?? The teacher said she can deal with his behavior and that she wasn't calling b/c of his behavior but b/c of his disorientation.

Thanks in Advance for any help!!

In this case, I would just talk to him about his behavior, really being firm on the cutting incident. But it really isn't HIS fault, and I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose.

Obviously, he threw up most of his meds this morning.

When I forget to give Will his meds, I TRY to be a little easy on him. I would dismiss everything but the cutting incident.

Sorry, he had such a bad day...

It's so hard!  I don't have good advice, but I totally understand about finding it hard to discipline when the meds aren't working right or forgotten.  My mom was on me the other day because she said she feels so sorry for DD because "she can't help it."  I told Mom that it doesn't really matter what all DD has going on, it's unacceptable to hit people.  It is definitely harder for DD to control her impulses than it is for many children, but she has to be able to keep from hitting people--it's absolutely unacceptable for her to hit, and she has to know that and deal with the consequences when she does hit.  I do discipline her differently than I would my son for the same offenses because I do know how much harder it is for DD to control her impulses than it is for DS, but I can't let her get away with doing things just because it is hard for her to control herself. 

Sometimes it seems like the teacher's discipline is sufficient and it doesn't need to carry over to home.  I don't know about the scissors thing, though--if the teacher wasn't upset do you think it was more of his threatening or pretending to cut someone and less that he was actually going to do it?  6YOs have terrible judgment in general, and if he was just screwing around (inappropriately) and acted like he was going to cut someone, that's different from if he was actually going after someone to cut him/her.  Did the teacher discipline at all, or just send him to the nurse?  DD is in kindergarten, and I can totally see her getting out of control and doing something stupid but not really dangerous with the scissors and then being surprised she was in trouble!

Poor boy and poor MOM!

I have a trick with ADHD and manics I'd like to pass along.

I put my hands on each side of my face so they are looking down a tunnel. With kids I sometimes put my hand on their shoulder because touch helps some kids focus. Then I ask if they are paying attention. If they aren't making eye contact there's no point talking because they aren't listening. [I tell people all the time, "If I'm not looking at you--I didn't hear it!]

I keep whatever it is down to three sentences or less then have them repeat it back to me in their own words.

I find most manic people and kids can comprehend that much before the fog sets in again
MetisRebel39211.7807986111

not to be devils advocate here, but ADHD kids struggle with eye contact. My daughter sometimes needs to be tying gimp, or squishing a "squishy ball", some sort of "busy hand" thing to be listening.

My neighbors daughter threw scissors this year..............she does not have ADHD..........it happens...............she is also turning 6.

My dh and I have struggled over the same issue regarding disciplining our 7yr dd with ADHD. One morning - before meds - she hit her little sister HARD for no apparent reason. She was and tends to be pretty aggressive off the meds. When my dh talked to her about it, she said "it doesn't count yet, does it? Meaning, the little stinker knew we were going easy on her before the meds would kick in. About the same time,  we had a preschool eval with dd age 4's (no ADHD that we are aware of) preschool teacher. She said all was going well except dd age 4 had a tendency towards aggressiveness at times.

Since, we have taken the stance that "I didn't take my ADHD Meds" would not be a good excuse in a court of law. Also, we have to do our best to make sure our youngest child and others are protected. We also understand there is a lot outside of her control.

What we decided to do was start rewarding her when she does a good job off of her meds, and constantly point out the good stuff she is doing during that time. We also stop and ask ourselves, "If we take ADHD out of the equation, what would we do for discipline in the same situation?" and then discipline accordingly. Her morning and evening behavior has gradually improved using this technique.

If your child does have issues with vomiting, you might want to ask the doctor for a prescription for short acting Adderrall - a friend of mine has this for her child to use on weekends when they don't want to give the "full dose." Our dd vomited the Concerta a couple of times and we aren't sure how much she got. On the non-school day we waited and gave the short acting Ritalin later when obvious it was needed. One was a school day and we had the teacher call if needed (she did!!). I don't know how long the short-acting Adderrall lasts. Ritalin is 2-3 hours.  useful when we need more coverage at night, too .