behavioral question | ADHD Information

i know that you cannot diagnose add/adhd from a forum...however, i
have add and am concerned that my sister does as well. she has been
diagnosed as having depression from her md, but add can be confused as
depression. i know the solid answer is for her to go see a qualified
psychiatrist...the problem is she doesn't see that there is much of a
problem. my biggest concern is that she is quite often telling on others
getting them into trouble. whether it be at work, church or anywhere
else...

she will either go an tell her boss someone is doing something or the
pastor of her church. is this a normal aspect of add? does anyone know of
any other cases like this? would it be her defense to make others look
bad? could it be that she impulsively tells on others before thinking about
the repercussions?

anyone? [QUOTE=davidrsae]i know that you cannot diagnose add/adhd from a forum...however, i
have add and am concerned that my sister does as well. she has been
diagnosed as having depression from her md, but add can be confused as
depression. i know the solid answer is for her to go see a qualified
psychiatrist...the problem is she doesn't see that there is much of a
problem. my biggest concern is that she is quite often telling on others
getting them into trouble. whether it be at work, church or anywhere
else...

First, how old is your sister?

Does she tell lies about others or just "gossip"?

"Telling on others" is NOT a symptom of ADHD. It can be part of other disorders but it isn't an aspect of ADHD. ADHD is primarily an inability to pay attention when necessary.

she will either go an tell her boss someone is doing something or the
pastor of her church. is this a normal aspect of add? does anyone know of
any other cases like this? would it be her defense to make others look
bad? could it be that she impulsively tells on others before thinking about
the repercussions?

As I said, there may be an underlying struggle here depending on context. A full psychiatric assessment should ferret it out.

If she is doing this in a way that is detrimental to her life, it certainly warrants some looking at.

Are you confusing Attention Disorder with attention seeking behaviour?

anyone?[/QUOTE]MetisRebel,


        i didn't think of it that way...i may very well be confusing add with
attention seeking behavior...i definitely do not want to be someone that
diagnoses everyone with add.

       to answer your questions...she is in her 30's. she does lie about
others, the way a situation really happened is severely distorted in her
own mind.

it's not a life-threatining situation, but she is in trouble a lot for her
actions and is labeled a trouble-maker.

       she was severely abused as a child and i am seriously concerned...i
agree whole-heartedly that a psychiatric assessment is needed. to defend
my point, i was not saying that telling on people is a symptom...but i
know impulsively is and a lot of people get in trouble for sticking their
foot in their mouth. i also know that adults with adhd develop unhealthy
coping strategies; my initial request was if this was a known coping
strategy or not...sorry i miscommunicated.Sorry to hear about your situation.

As her brother, do you feel that you could encourage her to see a
psychologist? Especially because of the abuse.

This would be a good first step, as a psychologist could refer her to a
psychiatrist if necessary.

I can't give you an answer about coping strategies, as I would assume
there are infinite ways that people cope. [QUOTE=davidrsae]MetisRebel,


        i didn't think of it that way...i may very well be confusing add with
attention seeking behavior...i definitely do not want to be someone that
diagnoses everyone with add.

       to answer your questions...she is in her 30's. she does lie about
others, the way a situation really happened is severely distorted in her
own mind.

it's not a life-threatining situation, but she is in trouble a lot for her
actions and is labeled a trouble-maker.

       she was severely abused as a child and i am seriously concerned...i
agree whole-heartedly that a psychiatric assessment is needed. to defend
my point, i was not saying that telling on people is a symptom...but i
know impulsively is and a lot of people get in trouble for sticking their
foot in their mouth. i also know that adults with adhd develop unhealthy
coping strategies; my initial request was if this was a known coping
strategy or not...sorry i miscommunicated.[/QUOTE]

No problem--I figured you were just trying to get some input to figure it out

This may be a sign of a mental disorder but it may also be a coping mechanism based on her past experiences. Without a full-scale assessment it's hard to tell.

Remember that some kids are more resiliant than others so the same abusive incident in childhood may feel very different to different family members. One may "pass it off" as being unimportant to the scope of their lives and another may view it is being horrific. It's not unusual for someone in a great deal of pain to overemphasize because their valid traumas have never fully been heard.

Is there any way you can get her to agree with having an assessment? You sound very concerned. Also, as a family member, you're in a position to validate the childhood abuse and that can build a great deal of trust.

I wish you all the best and let us know how you make out.


The fact that she has distorted reality when it comes to situations tells me right off that something isn't quite right (but of course you already know this).  It could be ADHD, PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or BPD (Borderline Personality Disorder) any of those (and probably others that I don't know of since I'm not a Dr.) could be the cause of why she does what she does. Abusive pasts can cause a lot of problems that you don't even realize yourself having gone through it. I too was severely abused as a child, and really never thought my problems were related. Like MetisRebel said, some can pass it off like I thought I had done.. and others are seriously damaged from it. Even those like me that passed it off, it still left an impact on me and how I deal with people and situations. BPD itself has a lot of other disorders that 'can' go along with that diagnosis, and one of those is ADHD.

She very well could be telling on others and getting them into trouble because of low self esteem and self image thinking she'd make herself look better.. but then in the long run it makes her look worse because of the lying. Compulsive Lying Disorder could be another thing as well. She definitely should see a Psychologist and get a full Psych Eval done.

Good Luck!