We most definitely ask the older one to help us help the younger. We also have stated that he will be rewarded as well for the younger one's good behavior. He knows and does make an effort occasionally. Just not as much as we would like. To his credit though, he has stood up for him on a few different occasions when the younger one was being teased on the bus by two older kids.
[/QUOTE]Kinda sorta in the same boat but not exactly. My youngest (6) was recently diagnosed with ADHD/ODD. Obviously that causes me and my wife to spend an inordinate amount of time dealing exclusively with him and his school. This in turn has caused some animosity between he and his older brother (10). The older one is straight A’s, AGP, a very good athlete and fairly popular amongst his peers. However, more often than not, when the two of them get together it’s like throwing water in hot grease. They may play fine for a while but sooner or later the older one will say something condescending or mean which in turn caused the younger one to quickly explode. Additionally, quite often the younger one (who still looks up to the older) will ask a question or make a comment that the older one responds to in a snotty or mean manner. He pulls that crap all of the time and it really ticks me and my wife off because part of the younger one’s issue is self esteem. Sad thing is though that when the older does make nice comments or pays special attention to him, you can really see it make a positive effect on his whole demeanor.