am i a bad parent | ADHD Information

I know this is not ADHD related but since everyone here i so helpful. yes my son has ADHD. but my question is not related to it.

My son is five going on 6. He is very independant. He comes home from school and I let him play in room with his toys. NO TV. He plays very well with his toys once inawhile he will come out and ask a question.

Then we eat dinner, take a shower. And then have down time. Which is cartoons right before bed. Goes to bed promptly.

Now I am not the best for spending quality time with him on the weekdays. I give him lots of attention, hugs and kisses, if he wants me to see something I will get up and come see it. I dont allow him to play with his toys in the living room becuase my husband and I watch tv out there. I spend lots of time with him on the weekends. I take him to the park, or we color, or play computer games, or my favorite thing watch a nice movie together. But he does spend a lot of time in his room.

My question is this bad? AM I horrible for not taking time doing the work week and spend time. I wake up at 5 and leave the house at 6 and dont get home till 5 pm. I have to cook dinner, get him ready for dinner, bath and then bed. I am just way to exhausted when I get home. Does this make me a bad parent. I know children need lots of love and attention. My husband (not his real dad) spends time with him. They play video games together and stuff.

On the weekends I get up and make my son breakfast and then go right back to bed. And he entertains himself until I get up. The whole house by the way is child proof. I have always been that way.

Oh and the whole sleeping thing. I am six months pregnant so I am so tired all the darn time. I just feel like I should be doing more. But I think I'm just to lazy. Between work, being a wife, (which I am knew at) being a mom. Its hards really really hard. I dont yell at my son anymore, becuase since being diagnosed with the ADHD. You know its hard. My husband hasnt fully gotten the whole thing yet. But he will. I look at other moms and they do so much with the kids. And I feel like I dont do my part sometimes. But most of those moms I see dont work, or only work part time. I work 40 hrs a week. And drive 1.5 hours to and from work everyday. So its like When I get home I dont want to anything but sit on the couch and do nothing And this was before I was prego to. I feel like I'm not cut out ot be a mom. Like my imagination is gone. I have tried to figure stuff out to do that I like to.

Anyway its all boils down to I think Im just being lazy. ?

Just the fact that you care shows something. I also work full time, have an ADHD pre-teen and a VERY active 5 year old. Husband and pets too! I am exhausted every day too.First ask yourself, if you spent more time on weekdays would it be quality time or are you too tired/stressed from your responsibilies for positive interactions. The demands on you might be too much, and you cannot be supermom (cut yourself some slack). It appears you are having a family meal together and that is usually great for interaction. You might try to incorporate him in the activies you have to do like preparing the meal, setting the table and cleaning up after. Also, can you share reading a book for 20 minutes in the evening (something of his level). As he gets older, there is more he can do to help, and the interactions can increase.

I guess am i horrible for making him play in his room. its not like we have a play room, and toys dont belong in the living room. so i figure he can entertain himself. he has always been able to entertain himself very well even as a baby. i have never really had to do much. He isnt my baby any more so its like i dont know what i can do. he doesn like to be tickled anymore well only sometimes. i try to cook dinner with him eveyr night that way we have time together. you know we may bot be playing or something. but we are together thats good right? but then sometimes i dont even cook dinner. i dont have a routine and i try so hard to make one. i need to make one at least with him.

my daughter plays in her room too, she LOVES it, it gets her away from everyone. I dont send her in there to play, if she brings her toys out here that is fine, can you let him play with a few things in the kitchen with you while you do your things? You do have to stop beating yourself up about it, we all do what we have to do and it sounds like he is ok with it all. My kids let me know when I am not paying enough attention to them

is reading a book or even two a night good enough qaulity time. Yes i think I am too stressed from other things to not want to play with him. You might be right on that one. We actually dont eat together really. Depending. My son cant focus and eat with everyone at the table. He eats in the kitchen witha timer right now. If I sat at the table he would never get done eating.

I guess what is enough qualtiy time? If you read a book together every day is that good enough? Making dinner together is that good enough?

When he gets home he does go straight into his room to play. I do tell him to play with his toys in his room. He does come out and say hes bored or he wants to spend time. And then I do. I will say ok well I read youa book or something. SO he does let me know. I told him that if he feels I dont spend enough time with him then he can tell me. He does too. All he has to say is MOM i want to spend time with you. But he considers me a girl and sometimes Im not fun to play with. lol. That is funny. He has no problem with knowing toys dont come out in the living room. Plus he gets so loud and obnious he does not play quietly.

num1booty2439218.4970833333Moms are different from each other...as long as he is happy, and it is working, don't worry too much. Every family is unique, and you should not judge yourself by what they do.

I remember how tired I was when I was pregnant as well, but it seems as if your son enjoys his alone time, and it is good for him and will build his imagination.

Does he play outside with neighborhood kids at all? Does he play with other children at daycare or school? I only ask because learning to play cooperatively with others is also an important skill to learn.

oh yes he has lots of friends at school. adn since its been warmer i try to take him to the park at least once a weekend. and I am looking into getting him in to wrestling.

thank you guys for all your support. HE does have a wild imagnination. lol

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I guess what is enough qualtiy time? If you read a book together every day is that good enough? Making dinner together is that good enough?

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If your son is reasonably well behaved 80% of the time, chances are you are paying enough attention for SURE!

Kids don't need parental attention all the time. In fact, most don't crave it, either. They have lives of their own, even from school age.

So jump off the cross mom--somebody else needs the wood!

It sounds like you are meeting his individual needs. Reading is good time with him. You are available at his request-sounds good to me. You do not need to be his playmate.

MetisRebel posted:

"So jump off the cross mom--somebody else needs the wood!"

I have never heard this before and I love it.

thank you everyone for the support I really needed it. We all have our down moments. When my son wants attention beleive me I know it and the whole world knows it. He doesnt stop bothering me until i give it to him too. I'm glad to know that im not doing things wrong.

I always wanted my children to know how to entertain themselves so they arent stuck up my butt 24-7. He still is just only 23-7 lol. You know what I mean.

This is such a good place to come to thank you all again.

Well there ya go

We too often forget we're not raising a child to stay a child--we're raising a child to be an adult.