I cannot take the disrespect any longer | ADHD Information

I feel for you. My dd is 8 and she is pretty mouthy, also. She always has to have the last word! Anyway, the poem your dd wrote was just beautiful. She sounds like a great kid. Hang in there, mom, maturity has to kick in for dd sooner or later!

I had to respond to this. This is how it went down. 

I was in store with DS 5years old at the time.  He asked for gum, I said no.  He threw a fit in the store, everyone was looking.  I warned him what his punishment would be at home if he didn't stop, he did not.  He even kicked his baby brother.  As soon as I got in the car away from everyone, he immediately apologized for his behavior.  I was shocked.  It was obvious that I was being played by him and I realized that I usually gave in to get him to cooperate in public. 

I never gave in to him again and would give him one warning before issuing punishments.  Then I always followed through.  I never went shopping alone again and if he acted up, hubby would remove him from the store. We stuck to our guns and he NEVER did it again.  I am not saying that her ADHD is not involved but these kids are smart. You have to be smarter!!!!!!!!

Jaydub,

I forgot to mention a really good book I heard about here: The Explosive Child by Ross W. Greene, Ph.D.  It really changed the way I think about and deal with ds's behavior. Every little bit helps, but boy is this exhausting!!

Hi everybody...I have been reading most of these discussions concerning ADHDParenting classes created specifically for the parents of ADHD children would be helpful. You can find these at ADHD clinics. They can give you just the bag of tricks you need.I have been there before you are not alone hopefully it got better for you when you took her home.

I feel your pain.  My 9 year old son and I got into it so bad that it could have been me starring in as the worst parent ever a couple of Sundays ago.  All I asked him to do was put the laundry in the washer and he just was not going to do it.  My oven door is shattered and my bathroom door is demolished the fighting got so bad.  Even with a whipping, this just ignited things. 

He is on Concerta 54 mg., Clondine and at the time Abilify.  I took him to our doctor the next day and he changed from the Abilify to Depokote (spelling?) to help stabilize his mood but I'm taking him to a therapist for additional help.  We can't continue down this path and I just don't know what to do with him - so much so that I don't want to be a parent, I want to ship him off to a boarding school and I can't imagine much more than saving up for legal fees.

Hopefully, this is just another phase and we can get through this and find peace.  It made me wonder if I have the wrong diagnosis but after reviewing some information on this site about the difference between bi-polar and ADHD I think we have it right.

Thank you all for the advise.  I am going to look into parenting classes for parents with adhd children and maybe I will ask her doc about Tenex.

Of course things were better once she got home from school and she felt very bad about what happened.  I would like to share a poem that she gave to me when she got home.

My True Feelings

If you promise to care, then I'll care too. 

If you care for me, then I'll care for you. 

But this morning you made me sad and darkended my day. 

I stood in the shadows and didn't want to play. 

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I truly am. 

I'm sure you'll forgive me, you're as sweet as a lamb. 

Sadly my poem has come to an end,

But can you please forgive me and be my friend...again?

When I get things like this, it's easier to forget about those bad moments and realize that she has so many good qualities and stenghths.  I try to focus on them but It's so hard sometimes !

 

 

 

Long before we had any idea that our son was ADHD he and I got into it bad, he had mouthed off once to many times, his favorite thing to do was run to the bathroom and lock the door when he saw that I was turning orange and flames were coming out of my head. Anyway, this particular day I had asked him to do something and of course the mouth went ramped I jumped up and ran after him to spank is butt but good I was just to tired of it.

He didn't make it to the bathroom fast enough lol I caught him and pinned him to the floor. I so wanted to slap him but I didn't I just pinned him down until he calmed down , I kept telling him either you calm down or you won't get up this went on for a good 20 miniutes , my 3 other children were wide eyed and mouths opend. I imagine it was a sight for them. They've never seen mom go nuts lke that. I'm very much a yeller which they can tune out with great ability.

Long story short, he finailly calmed down and I let him up , straight to the bathroom he went. I ended up doing whatever it was that I wanted him to do. I look back now and see that because I lost control of myself{and I 'm self diagnosed ADD} I lost the battle.

Things are much better now he's on meds and I'm getting evaulated this Friday so that should help me more to help him,  we talk together alot more now now that he understands his condition and mine, we are going to be fine together. ADHD is a rocky road but with lots of love and stepping back and regrouping yourself I think you and your child will be fine.

 

 

pjstrinkets39224.3570717593

ive worked with some kids whom  when "no" is said to them their emotions escalate.

do you journal these out bursts and your  ideas on how get the result you want.

i by no means have an answer .  but i typicaly only say the no word once and ignore . like asking i didnt hear you. what else can you bring, you dont want to spend the rest of the day in the quiet room ,youre  here to learn, ill bring after school so you show the kis at the end of the day , or tommorrow but i must keep it with me when i leave.  it would get broken,   but not    "no"

i dont think you did anything wrong   

Oh how sweet is that! Sounds like a wonderful girl, who just needs Moms help.

Wow, she truly sounds like she understands how she is making you feel!

Hang in there and keep trying with her, she is surely reaching out to you!

I cannot take the disrespect any longer from my daughter who just turned nine.  She is constantly talking back, calling me names, flat out says no when I ask her to do something.  This morning she was having a very hard time accepting the fact that I told her that she could not bring a toy to school.  Well, as most of you know, when an adhd child wants something and has their mind set on it, they persist.  She screamed and kicked the back of my seat while I was driving.  She refused to get out of the car to go to school.  She finally did and then later as I was helping to hang some art projects in the school, she came down and asked for the toys again.  When I said no she put up a big scene in front of another mom.  I had to escape from her out the door and pry her away from me while a teacher held her back.  Even my 3 1/2 year old son was watching in disbelief.  I am so stressed out and sometimes don't think I can handle this child.  I thought that at nine years old she would be over some of this behavior.  She is on the dayrana patch - 20 mg.  Could this be a reaction from the medication?  Thank you all for allowing me to vent!

Is this a new development since beginning the daytrana?  If so, then it may well be the med.

I have no experience with daytrana, or with the disrespect.....

I am sorry that things are not going well for you and your daughter right now. 

It is hard to know if it a reaction to the medication. Is this new behavior since adding the medication? If so then it is possible, but if no then probably not, but if the point was to help with some of this aggressiveness maybe it is not the right choice.

Jaydub,

I so know where you are coming from. We have had the same behavior with our son. He is on Concerta 54 mg. The medication used to work for behavior as well as focus but the last two months have been awful behavior wise!

We just started him on Tenex (5 days ago) and I already see a big difference in his behavior. (Check out the Tenex thread under the ADHD medication board)
He is actually taking "no" for an answer now without a full blown explosion!

Good luck!!

That poem is very nice.  

I am just dealing with the disrespect now from my 6 year old.  It started when she entered K and the past year has been a challenge.  Her principal sent her home because she was being defiant and would not stand for morning prayer.  She is in a Catholic School.  Her child study assessment came back normal but suspected ADHD.  Her doctor confirmed this.  The defiance is very hard to deal with.  One minute she's super sweet, the next she is telling me off.  I just bought the book "Backtalk 4 steps to ending rude behavior".  Another board I am a member of for ADHD recommends this.  I just got the book so I can't tell you how it works yet, but I certainly can understand your feelings.

((hugs))

 

Wow... sounds like her emotions are really getting the better of her. You know how when you get some strong feeling, and it seems like that's all there is in the whole world; and you forget everything else? I think that's what it must be like for her. I think even ADHD kids do eventually learn to control their emotions better... even if it happens late... maturity should help. Keep loving her--she seems like a neat kid.