Kids will try to use anything as an excuse.
Perhaps it is his adhd. Don't let the excuse ride but ask him, what he thinks should be done about it. Place the responsibility for his actions back to him.
Granny Fran has a good point. If he is old enough to use his ADHD as a reason for his actions, let him klnow that he is also old enough to help you decide together how to change the behavior that is not acceptable.Thank you all for your responses. It's nice to know that there are so many people out there who not only are going through the same things we are, but that are so willing to help. Granny Fran had a very good idea, and we are going to try it. He DOES know the difference between right and wrong. When I ask him if he knew what he did was wrong, he'll say yes. His answer always is "I wasn't thinking". How do we figure out how to think BEFORE he acts?? Again, thank you all for your help!!!Well if you figure it out, share it! We always get the "oh, I didnt know" or, "I forgot" And she does....................but.....................
It is quite different with an adolescent. My daughter was diagnosed at 5:00 and we began medication at 9. Now at 12 1/2 she very much does use her ADHD as an excuse...........sometimes. Yesterday she went to school and told them our dog chewed up her homework folder. When I asked her about it she said her sister ripped it in half. When I pushed a littel harder she admitted she did it herself, but she just couldnt help it she was frustarted with herself and her "head gets all spinny". Needless to say, an excuse, and not the first time. She does get a "spinny head" though when she doestn have the right meds and right now we are building a new med and she is undermedicated. STILL, she has to responsible for her behaviors and will go to school today and tell them she lied and we disussed what to do in the future. pjstrinkets is right in the sense that some stuff kids juts do. Adolescents do "stuff" in the same was as toddlers to start to gain their independance. My daughter would in the past never have even thought of lying. We are in a different world here at adolescents.
That said, same rules apply. It very well may be the ADHD casuing some behaviors, however, they still need to be addresssed. I very much discuss my daughters behaviors with her constantly. These older kids know how they feel and by comparing her observations of her actions as well as my own and her teachers we get a feel across the board when it is time to think about the meds.
Most of this will come with experience. Kids will be kids and of they can find a way out of getting in trouble why not give it atry .
Hi, I noticed that you mention that he just started his concerta this weekend. How did it go? When we started we increased immediately over a period of time. What does did they start him at. I bet it is not where he really should be. They start low and move him up safely.
Your son is older than mine was when he was diagnosed. Mine wasn't yet 5, but he knows what he has and that he will take his meds for the rest of his life and 7 days a week. He has mentioned in the past that the reason for "something" was because of his pills haven't kicked in, which was actually true!
You should see a change in his behavior once you find the right doseage, if concerta is the right med. It is for my son, he is almost 10 and is on 72mg.
Post any ???????'s that you may have!
BETHANN39223.9510069444You have to remember first of all he is an 11 year old boy he is supposed to have energy and as for using it as an excuse I would have to disagree. If he is just newly diagnosed he does not know yet how to control his behavior that will take time with therapy. It is not something he will learn overnight. What works is a good behavior plan and consistency and lots of love.Hi, My son was just recently diagnosed too and is also taking Concerta. What I have been saying to my son is this medicine isn't for anything but for you to concentrate better and focus on your school work-and I express to him very firmly that his behavior is his responsiblity and he must be able to control this.
I know very well that this is hard for him and I do give latitude in some areas but I am hoping that if he expects in his mind that I won't tolerate him using his ADHD as a catch all for misbehaving , then maybe he will begin using the ADHD to be better at his behavior- I don't know but it seems to be working , I have to remind him of this once in awhile just like as if I was teaching him a new word, kind of like with pavlov's dog{in no way I'm saying my son is a dog lol} but in Psycological terms I'm conditioning him to be responsible as he had no access to it before until he was aware of what was going on with him and started his medication.
I hope I've helped some.
I think my long term memory is kicking in from my short term college days lol ask me what I had him do 5 minutes ago - forget it lol
Hi. I'm new to the message boards...and new to ADHD. My 11 year old stepson (who lives with us full time) was just diagnosed with ADHD last week, and started on Concerta this weekend. Ever since he learned about the diagnosis, he has been using it as an excuse for his hyper behavior. How do I know when its real and when its just him trying to get away with negative behavior? We haven't dealt with anything like this before and feel very lost. Any ideas?? Thanks!!!