So Sad | ADHD Information
The last few days have been a lot better. I'm wondering if it has just taken the meds a while to 'kick in'. I hope that's the case. Thank you for your support! I'm glad everything is working well for your family! That's wonderful.
Hang in there - it can take a long time to get the right meds combo. We went through the same thing where it seemed like a med would work for a few weeks, then suddenly it would not work at all.
We have now been on the same meds combo for a few months, and it is wonderful!!
I am a newbie here on the website. I actually found it in a moment of frustration. My son, he's five soon to be six, was diagnosed w/ ADHD in March of this year. We knew at a very young age that he was 'different'...his hyperness and stubbornness. He was 'asked to leave' two different daycares by the age of three. Now that he began kindergarten, we started getting questions of his behavior. "He's such a good kid, he just can't sit still." And at home, he just never seemed relaxed. We have to repeat things every single day. It's as though he never really 'gets it'. Once we KNEW he had ADHD, we started out him out on the lowest dosage of 5mg of Adderall and now we're up to 10mg.(I do not want him to be a zombie) It seems to be such an improvement and then it's as if he builds a tolerance to it. I am so sad, truly! It all breaks my heart. Our other two boys get left out b/c we're always trying to keep this one in order. They hear us yelling, our ADHDer hears us yell at him. We just are at our witts end! I feel helpless just trying to do NORMAL daily functioning. My husband travels and I'm running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I just feel like I'm failing our boy miserably! I searched the internet for help, but found this forum! Did you order reward charts or any programs to help you and your child(ren)??? Please help me help my son!! I feel like I've been beat up ! So I can't imagine how my little man feels!
ilovemyboys39232.511400463Welcome,
You can look at the thread at the top called "ogram's marble system" for a positive reinforcement behavior plan. You can use stickers, marbles , tickets or whatever is interesting.
It is normal on the meds to start at a low dose and work up to the effective dose. Young kids have faster metabolism than adults and these meds are not dosed based on weight, but effect. If you get to a dose that makes you child a "zombie" this is too high and just drop the dose down. If the first med does not work, you may have to look at others. It can be tough, but will be worth it when you get his treatment to the effective stage. Starting early as you are, can help him avoid some of the rough things that come with dealing with ADHD and the school, social and family conflicts it can bring. Proper treatment (meds, behavior plan, social and other skills if needed) can give your child the opportunity to be the most successful he can be. I call the meds glasses for the brain.
We have gone from a child (the youngest) that was failing school, anxious, depressed and wanted to die, to a happy, successful child that is making and keeping friends. She still has her quirky, funny sense of humor and her creativeness, but has gained success, friends and can make the most of her talents. We recognized the issues with the oldest before thngs got too bad because we had learned so much with the youngest. We avoided letting her fail, and she is going into honors next year.
Thanks for your words of encouragement! I'll check out that post.
By the way...CONGRATULATIONS on your daughter making Honors! That's quite an accomplishment in itself!
Welcome!
Vickie is right, hang in. Give the meds some time. It can take a bit of "tweaking" and switching meds to find what works best for your child. Every child is different as is every med.
The biggest advice I can give, is try to ignore as much as you can until you work things out. Not things that obviously will hurt him or others, but some of the backtalk these kids do or being hyper", or some of the stubborness. My daughters doctor once explained to me that my daughter is being stubborn as she is trying to control whatever in her life she can as she always feels so out of control. Once you help him find the right meds it will be much easier.
There are all kinds of rewards systems that work GREAT. The biggest thing with these is dont give ask too much and BE PATIENT. Try one ot two chores or behaviors at a time. Then add to it. Remember he is only 5. Kids with ADHD are also emotionally immature so his emotional maturity is probably liek a 3 year old.
Vickie,
Thank you so much for your comments! I almost cried because I finally have some relief having the opportunity to talk with parents who truly understand!! I really do have a lump in my throat! It's so hard. But I look at him on good days and that's all I need to feel rejuvinated!! (not sure about my spelling there!) They are so very worth it but it's tough. Your comment about his emotional immaturity hit the nail right on the head. He cries over everything, it seems!! But three year olds do that! So, what you said rang very true with me. I am definitely heading out to get some marbles. 
Thank you so much!
Conkyjo, all suggestions here and seems like your thoughts also are, that at least a discussion wiht his doctor is apporpriate. Find out his/her feelings on this whole thing. Treating the anxiety with an anti anxiety should not make him overmediacted or zombie like at all. It should make him good
. Whatever the decision is for your family is your decision and if it doesnt work out, you'll move on and keep trying. Good luck.Thanks everyone for listening and your thoughts. I know every child reacts to medications differently, but it's still good to know what others have experienced.
My thoughts are that an anti-depressant will either help with his anxiety or after a week we'll know it isn't. Kinda the same way I agreed to put him on Adderall.
Gotta go pick up Joey and go to the doctor. I've printed out several of your comments so I know what to talk to the doctor about.
Connie
Chase was kinda emotional on his ritalin LA as well as when he was on the concerta. He would get what I called 'frustrated to tears' over seemingly small instances.
Once he started on the guanfacine, this eased quite a bit. It seems to give him time to think things through and has helped him to not be so weepy, or to jump straight to livid in a single bound like he did before the guanfacine.
Okay, that's what I was wondering...
Well, we have an appt before school starts (unless needed prior). We have only tried Adderall. He has only been diagnosed since March. He started out at 5 mg and we just recently moved up to 10 mg (last week). The only side effects, other than the crying maybe, would be that he just isn't eating as good as he used to. I am concerned about that. If he gets rewarded with a dessert, he'll eat everything on his plate (most of the time). So not sure on that one...
Hello ladies,
Adderall is a stimulant, not an anti-depressant. I feel we are at a good dosage level for him now. The reason I'm reluctant to change his meds is because school is out next week and the following week he goes to a summer program at a different school. He needs that daily structure like school provides. I had to get a letter from his doctor that his ADHD was under control before they would let me enroll him in the program. He has come a long way with the Adderall and we've toughed out most of the side effects. But his anxiety and over-emotional behaviors have increased to a level that they are intolerable, both at home and school. I don't want want to over medicate him to the point of zombiness (yes I made that up), however I feel something more is needed.
ilovemyboys I too feel we haven't had it as bad as some of the others. As stressed as I am right now I know I couldn't handle more than I am now. Not only the ADHD and meds, but his asthma is flaring up again and we're trying to find an inhaler that doesn't make him more hyper. Changing his meds would be too many changes at once for us I think. I know the calmer I can be helps his behavior too. But there are those days...
Connie
There are good and bad days and you can never predict which one you'll have. My son woke up screaming at me this morning about everything. I received an email from his teacher yesterday that while his behavior in class has improved tremendously with the Adderall, his emotional outbursts and anxiety have increased. She said he cries almost daily about something insignificant.
We have an appointment this afternoon with his doctor and I'm wondering if I should suggest maybe a mild anti-depressant or something? What is everyone else's experience?
Connie
My daughter was very weepy on Adderall and it did increase her anxiety. I would just tell the doctor his symptoms, they may even suggest a different med, rather than adding another one.Connie,
Our son also cries over the 'insignificant' things. I feel if that's the worst they do, we're all right!
They'll learn to sort it out, they won't be crying when they're 16. (I hope!) And it was my impression that Adderall was a sort of anti-depressant already...I may be wrong, though. I'm learning as we go here!
After reading this site, and several others' concerns, I've learned that you are right about the good days and bad days unpredictability. However, I will say this. our bad days seem to be a little less than some of the others' bad days. I think I've come to learn that my son has a moderate ADHD. He never kicks or screams at me, unless we've completely broken down. And at that point, I don't feel it's the ADHD so much as it is Me just losing my composure on the situation at hand. These kids need lots of structure. LOTS of it.
Diane,
I didn't even know about 'combo' meds until I read this site. My son is very ... wears his heart on his sleeve. He's always been like that. SO, I think it's more in his personality than the meds. A lot of it, I'm learning, has had to do with the situations we are in. And also, a lot of time, has to deal with the kind of day we've all had with each other. It's so easy to have a THICK tension in the air with this behavior. You feel like you're always teetering on the brink of , what we call, a melt down. He gets really fidgety and has those outbursts of energy or of emotions. *Sigh* It'll just be nice to have him smoothed out. For his sake and for our's. I am so very thankful for this forum. I was truly heartbroken when I first wrote this email. Some times you feel very alone in this, but then you can come here and find those who can completely understand.
Every kid has good and bad days that is true. I would still mention the crying. The balance of meds is what relieves symptoms with the least amount of side effect. We have lived with many side effects. I don't know which meds you've tried or not tried.
I do not believe Adderall as antidepressant.
We have used combo meds often. It very well may be his personality. It is my daughters, but we have certainly been on meds that helped that. I know, I know, sick of hearing it every chid is different . It's worth discussing with his doctor.
Hello ilovemyboys! I'm a newbie too but I wanted to tell you how much everyone on this site has helped me. I often find out more from them than the doctors, therapists, etc. My son was finally diagnosed ADHD/ODD in March and started on 5 mg. Adderall XR. About 2 weeks later he increased to 10 mg. and then a few weeks after that to 15 mg. where he is now. Once he started with the 15 mg. it was so hard to get him to sleep so his doctor added Clonodine. It helped him sleep, but I couldn't wake him up for school. He hasn't needed it for about two weeks so I hope we can stay away from it.
People tend to think I'm nuts when I tell them I knew my son was "different" from birth. We went through the multiple daycares. But my husband at the time (his Father) is from the old school and believed all we had to do was spank him. I didn't because I knew it didn't work and never would. We ended up divorced and I had to go to court so my son could get diagnosed and put on medication. It took 3 years of court and everything else for me to finally get him diagnosed at age 7. That's three years he could have been getting treatment.
One of the things that really helped me was reading that "normal" for my family was probably abnormal for others. There are days when everything goes well, and then there are the ones that are pure hell. I stopped trying to be super-Mom and it took a lot of stress off me. Who cares if the house is a little cluttered or there's laundry piled up? If I'm calming my son and helping him cope with his behaviors, then everything else has to wait. I'm lucky in that my older son is 16 so he's not as affected as a younger child might be. I work full-time and am a single mom so I know how you feel about feeling like a chicken with her head cut off. Don't put too much pressure on yourself and remember YOU are giving the gift of love to your son and you'll never have a chance to help him like you can right now.
I have a rewards chart that I actually made up myself. When he completes a task he gets a sticker. At the end of the week he's so excited to see how many he has and he gets to choose a reward. That hardest part is when he doesn't do what he's supposed to and loses a sticker. But he knows he an earn it back again.
The best advice I've ever gotten is to choose your battles. Some things that seem silly and insignificant to us are serious and important to them. My son hurt his toe and wanted an ace bandage wrapped around his foot. I started to protest and then thought "what will it hurt". He was so surprised at my reaction he had one of his best days at school ever!
Somehow, someway you need to take time for yourself. Do something you like to do even if for only a few minutes or an hour. If there are relatives, friends, or even church members who could take care of your children for any length of time you'd be amazed how it rejevunites you and makes you remember that you are doing the best you can. You are his rock at this time in his life. Look forward to the future when his treatment is working and he feels like a "normal" kid. All of what we're going through now will be worth it.
Aww I am sorry you are feeling so stressed!! First of all.....deep breath. Second, hugs, you are surrounded by those who know here!
My daughter has been on meds since January of this year. It truly is a game of roulette. First, there is finding the right med (if that is the route you choose to go), then the correct dose and it is such a waiting game trying to figure out the right combination of each to even your little one out!
We have been doing a sticker chart with Ashley. But I read the marble system thread here (it's stickied) and am planning on trying that. My daughter responds to it well in the classroom setting so that is why we are switching. ADD/HD children really need to have a hand in controlling their behavior and environment and this is a good way to help your son feel more 'in control' of both his actions- and rewards/punishments. Alleviates some of the strain of you yelling all the time as well.
I just wanted to send you hugs. I know how you feel with siblings, we have an almost 2 year old son who picks up on it and it is so worrisome for me and makes me sad that there is such a high level of tension in our home a lot of the time.
Take care!
Tina
I can't tell you how much this has HELPED me, being able to read about your stories and what's working for you and your children. This website is a life saver for me, I just know it! We had a really fun night last night. After getting some relief from you all, I went and bought some cookies to bake. My son and I LOVE cooking together, he tells me it's his favorite thing to do with me!
THEN, he lost his second tooth! His dad is gone on business, and he gets to sleep with me-- He was so excited he said "Mom, this is the best day ever!" These good days help so very much. I am going to try BOTH the rewards chart with stickers and the marble method. I think giving him a choice will really help him and really help out too for those days he has to take some away.
Thanks for all your support. You don't know what it's done for my spirit.
HUGS to you, as well. It is so very demanding and stressful. My husband now adopted my ADHD son I'm speaking of. His biological father is a deadbeat and I'm sorry that you've had to go through some of the battles you have had to endure. Being a single mom is a VERY hard job, but I found it very rewarding. He's the little man in your life and I found that so sweet and it made us very,very tight! Boys love their mommas and they become very protective.
Today is a much better day for me. I'm feeling more positive. I know we have a LONG road ahead of us, but he's so worth it! I'm a christian woman, so with my prayers and with you all, it should help. Thanks for taking time to help me feel better!! You are all wonderful!!