3 year old temper tantrums | ADHD Information

No diane he isn't ADHD..at least not that I know of! I think he has MCS (Middle Child Syndrom)

 

Of course I think he must have known he was going to be a middle child when he was born because he has always had MCS and my youngest is only 3!

innova739242.3654050926Well that actually makes me feel better . It' only real concern with her. The "flipping out" easily, but she is only 5. Diane V39242.3995717593  My middle son will be nine tomorrow...he STILL has tantrums! He is a very stubborn child and VERY sensitive. I went to his beginning of the year conference and his teacher told me how great he was and what ever I am doing to keep doing it! that's what his teachers tell me every year.  It must be me! he doesn't have tantrums often but when he does....Oh boy! Is he ADHD? I am talking about my child that is not ADHD.............well that we dont think is ADHD. We're still trying to figure her out.

My son is 5 and still throws terrible tantrums.  Sometimes its out of frustration not being able to do something.  Others its becaus he doesn't get his way.  He hears the word "no" and it sends him into a fit.  We practice 123 magic...and he throws a tantrum when he has to take 5.  But he takes it.  Usually calmer when he's done, but talking with him afterwards about the appropriate behavior doesn't seem to get through.  He's still pretty much in denial.  Its never his fault.  Always someone else's fault.  We talk about taking deep breaths, counting to 10, and he throws a tantrum over that..."I don't want to take a deep breath!"  "I don't want to listen"  You ask him to look you in the eye, and his eyes get big and he can't look very long.

My son isn't diagnosed with anything yet.  I used to think he may be adhd.  But, now I'm wondering if it isn't just plain ol oppositional defiant.  He's very defiant, says no anytime you ask him to do something, and is plain difficult.  He's also very loving and we hold hands, cuddle, and hug a lot. So, its strange. 

His preschool says they usually don't have any problems with him until towards the end around lunchtime.  I thought it may be a food thing.  Cut out corn syrup and dyes, and it has helped a lot. 

We're putting our son in 1/2 day kindergarten next year to see how that goes. 

myjeffrey, it's interesting you say this. My 5 year old also still has many tantrums. I am starting to wonder about her. She is nothing like my diagnosed (ADHD) 12 year old, but I dont' know. It seems as though she should not be still tantrumming so much at 5. She also is very well behaved in school, but is only there 2 1/2 hours. The changes in her tantrums I've noticed as she gets older is they are MUCH shorter lived and we most time CAN calm her down by having her be alone, and/or breathing and counting. I am wondering if all most 5 year olds still flip out like this. Sounds like some do.

Diane V39241.4738657407

[QUOTE=Neuroticax] Apparently more people here are more into the "sit down and talk" things through idea...thought I would get more support from here, I guess I was wrong. When a Mother is at wits end because her child is hitting, kicking, biting, injuring himself, and banging his head against a wall because he can't get his way, apparently this isn't the forum to find that support.

I am very aware that children his age have short attention spans, which is something I can deal with, it's the fact he goes 100mpr constantly, barley sleeps and has these fits, that is what makes it hard to deal with. I have tried the "sit and talk" for almost 3 years, he has been like this since birth.. almost literally.

Some people need to learn that "sit calmly and talk" does NOT work with ALL kids.

Thank you all for your responses, I will be going elsewhere for advice. No need to respond, I will no longer be checking this forum.

Also thank you to the people that responded that understand where I am coming from.
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I really hope you haven't left!

I'm going to tell you the truth! If you think there is something wrong with your child, there probably is! I knew by age 2 that my son was ADHD. I didn't have a whole lot of experience with children, plus  he was my first child and only child. So I was clueless...or that's what I was led to believe by friends and family. I took him to see the pediatrician and she told me he was 'spirited'.

Fast forward...

I took him to a therapist at age 4 and she just sorta hemmed and hawed. I burst into tears and told her I WAS NOT LEAVING HER OFFICE WITHOUT HELP! That's what got the ball rolling. He is now 6 and on the Daytrana patch and doing quite well. We still have our issues, but I don't feel completely helpless anymore.

LonerGirl39241.3692824074

[QUOTE=Neuroticax] I have seen a couple threads on here where 3 year olds were diagnosed.

And trying to talk to a kid who refuses to even sit still because he doesn't want to hear it.. is almost impossible. It becomes one fit after another, even if he's calmed down. I know all of the "just get down to their level and talk to them" tricks, and it doesn't work.
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You are right, you wont sit and talk to him after his tantrum and he'll get it. You'll calmly explain how he could better handle it, and read books on how to calm down and count with him and breath with him, over, and over and over and over, every time. He is listening to you. It will take a very long time, but he will get something out of it. I am not quoting from a book, from my world.

I know through ages 2-3 kids have tantrums.. but how where does that start and the adhd tantrums begin? My almost 3 year old has the worst fits when he doesn't get what he wants or gets busted for doing something he isn't supposed to do.. flailing his arms, hitting people, kicking, going limp so he ends up hurting himself on whatever is near or under him (if he's sitting), SCREAMING, throwing things, pushing things off tables or chairs .. once in awhile he'll throw himself back so his head hits the wall at some angle.

I am waiting to hear back from Children's Hospital so they can set up a day for the psych to evaluate him for adhd. I have been following this forum for a couple mths now and I'm pretty convinced that my son shows symptoms.

Being my only child, and only child I have encountered that goes to such extremes when it comes to tantrums and disobedience like this. I would just like to know where the line is draws between "Terrible Twos" and everything else.

That line is very blurred. This is one of the reasons diagnosis usually takes place older. Not always though. I would be surprised if you'd get an ADHD diagnosis on a 3 year old, but it happens. My theory, however, is even if they are unable to give you any kind of definitive answer, you will have this documented evaluation to look back on in a few years if the behaviors do not subside.

All the same tantrum rules still apply that you would use on a 2 year old. The advantage as they get older is language skills are improved. You can talk about it AFTER they are calm. These will be good opportunities to talk about how better to handle these frustrations. With improved communication skills you can help him learn ways to recognize triggers and ways to calm himself.......deep breaths, counting......etc.............

ADHD based tantrums tend to have a factor of frustration. That is, not being able to do something such as tie shoes, read, write properly etc. If the toys won't go back in the box the way they came out--that sort of thing.


I have seen a couple threads on here where 3 year olds were diagnosed.

And trying to talk to a kid who refuses to even sit still because he doesn't want to hear it.. is almost impossible. It becomes one fit after another, even if he's calmed down. I know all of the "just get down to their level and talk to them" tricks, and it doesn't work.
Neuroticax39236.6938888889I'd go for the evaluation first. It sounds more like oppositional disorder or just plain inability to cope somehow.

Keep in mind, he's only 3 and his attention span isn't more than 3 sentences, anyway...
Not all kids with ADHD have tantrums. My dd is 9, adhd/innattentive and has never had a tantrum of any kind. At 3 he is actually too young for an accurate evaluation, I would consider some behavior mods first, then in a few years get an eval if you still see symptoms.My ds, now almost 10, was very H during those toddler years. He never had a temper tantrum. My son wouldn't sit still long enough to have a temper tantrum! He is also very laid back.  Things slide off his back I think too easily, but I guess it saves him from the frustration and hurt that can occur.At 3, my son was just "a handful" and "all boy"; no one but me thought
that he should have more self-control. By 4 1/2, he was acting exactly
the same, while all of the other kids had matured. Then I was told by one
psychologist that he met all criteria for autism, and he had been kicked
out of several preschools. He would tantrum because of sensory
overload- he couldn't process what was going on around him, and
sometimes all it took was my hand on his arm in a store to send him into
a growling biting rage. In his case, medication enabled him to understand
his world, and by 5 1/2 he was 80% caught up. I can't say that I would
have done anything earlier than I did, though- it was scary and sad, but I
think that it just had to play out that way. He wasn't the worst three-year-
old in his "class", he was just the only one who didn't outgrow it.

I survived by reading "The Explosive Child" about once a month... it
explains a way to look at the behavior of a child of any age who cannot
handle frustration, for whatever reason. Apparently more people here are more into the "sit down and talk" things through idea...thought I would get more support from here, I guess I was wrong. When a Mother is at wits end because her child is hitting, kicking, biting, injuring himself, and banging his head against a wall because he can't get his way, apparently this isn't the forum to find that support.

I am very aware that children his age have short attention spans, which is something I can deal with, it's the fact he goes 100mpr constantly, barley sleeps and has these fits, that is what makes it hard to deal with. I have tried the "sit and talk" for almost 3 years, he has been like this since birth.. almost literally.

Some people need to learn that "sit calmly and talk" does NOT work with ALL kids.

Thank you all for your responses, I will be going elsewhere for advice. No need to respond, I will no longer be checking this forum.

Also thank you to the people that responded that understand where I am coming from.
Neuroticax39239.4881134259