The problem with having an educated support system is that the more educated a person becomes the less open minded and more opinionated they become. Its just human nature. We gain knowledge, then we use that knowledge to draw logical conclusions to problems, but logic fails us when we either introduce opinion or we make assumptions (like sometimes assuming we have enough facts on ADHD medication before drawing the conclusion to disaprove.) Keeping opinion and assumptions out of problem solving is even harder when its someone who cares so much more for you like a family member. In other words, a logical problem solving mind can be clouded by emotion, no matter how educated.
Your family is correct about ADHD being your personality, but the fact remains that most untreated ADDers don't fit into society today. Over the past few generations the need for the ADHD mind has been greatly been reduced in society.
So yes its "just our personality" (even the impulsiveness) but society is unforgiving of mistakes today. So we ADDers have to develop new skill sets that serve society. Whether this be through meds and/or therapy we have to adapt to a intolorant and unforgiving system instead of society adapting to us the way we are.
I take meds and for me the benefits far outweigh the side effects. My personality is the same and my creativeness is the same. The main difference with taking meds is that when I have an idea I can choose whether to act on it or not. That means not only am I less impulsive to act when some idea pops into my head, but also if I come up with a good idea that I would like to act on I have the mental energy and motivation to make it happen.
As far as hiding taking meds from your support group, don't ask their permission to try meds, instead ask them to monitor your behaviour while on the meds. If they have stuck with you through being Bi-polar then they should stick with you through med trials with ADHD, since Bi-Polar is more demanding of them then ADHD.
As for your support system not wanting you to try ADHD meds, ask them in a kind way if their opinion of the meds are based on their research, the TV, or word of mouth. Then have a printout of the side effects of each of the meds and ask them to re-evaluate (Through their own research) the benefits vs. risks of ADHD meds. I think by educating them most people would agree its at least worth trying.
Hello :-)Good luck through this process. With some work, you will find the med, dose and schedule that best fits your needs. You may also find more support from those around you as they see the positive effects of the meds.
vickie39260.3022800926Hi,
I just wanted to add my 2 cents.
Taking medication for my ADD and anxiety is a decision that was very hard for me. Most of my extended family is 'old school' and does not understand how ADD has affected my life or how the decision to try medication as a strategy has become necessary. I still get the same types of messages you mention from people and so I tend to not share about any mental health issues. I agree with previous posts about education!
I do have to say though, medication has made a huge difference in my life and even more so for my wife and kids. My anxiety and ADD finally had to be addressed with medication regardless of others' opinions. Before medication, my life was on a downhill ride that was speeding up, I had to intervene before I crashed. I don't anticipate taking medication forever but for now, it is keeping me functioning at work and positively relating with my family while I learn how to better cope and structure my life.
Jason
JasonHi Jeaniejo,
There is a long story about how I got to where I am now with meds but...
I am currently taking: Celexa and Wellbutrin; last week i started propronalol temporarily and this week I started adderall.
J
[QUOTE=Parduse]The problem with having an educated support system is that the more educated a person becomes the less open minded and more opinionated they become. Its just human nature. We gain knowledge, then we use that knowledge to draw logical conclusions to problems, but logic fails us when we either introduce opinion or we make assumptions (like sometimes assuming we have enough facts on ADHD medication before drawing the conclusion to disaprove.) Keeping opinion and assumptions out of problem solving is even harder when its someone who cares so much more for you like a family member. In other words, a logical problem solving mind can be clouded by emotion, no matter how educated.
Your family is correct about ADHD being your personality, but the fact remains that most untreated ADDers don't fit into society today. Over the past few generations the need for the ADHD mind has been greatly been reduced in society.
So yes its "just our personality" (even the impulsiveness) but society is unforgiving of mistakes today. So we ADDers have to develop new skill sets that serve society. Whether this be through meds and/or therapy we have to adapt to a intolorant and unforgiving system instead of society adapting to us the way we are.
I take meds and for me the benefits far outweigh the side effects. My personality is the same and my creativeness is the same. The main difference with taking meds is that when I have an idea I can choose whether to act on it or not. That means not only am I less impulsive to act when some idea pops into my head, but also if I come up with a good idea that I would like to act on I have the mental energy and motivation to make it happen.
As far as hiding taking meds from your support group, don't ask their permission to try meds, instead ask them to monitor your behaviour while on the meds. If they have stuck with you through being Bi-polar then they should stick with you through med trials with ADHD, since Bi-Polar is more demanding of them then ADHD.
As for your support system not wanting you to try ADHD meds, ask them in a kind way if their opinion of the meds are based on their research, the TV, or word of mouth. Then have a printout of the side effects of each of the meds and ask them to re-evaluate (Through their own research) the benefits vs. risks of ADHD meds. I think by educating them most people would agree its at least worth trying.
[/QUOTE]
You'll never know unless you try! In my humble opinion, real supporters give support, whether you're medicated or not. To borrow a phrase from our President.... "you don't need a permission slip" from your supporters to try meds.
3RingCircus -
Thanks for your long post, any tidbit is potentially helpful since I'm new to all this stuff. I'm hoping this comes off right -- I'm glad this whole concept of 'chatter' wasn't just all 'in my head,' but in other ppl's too. :-) Of course, I don't mean I'm happy you had to deal with it (much longer than me, obviously), it's just good to know there are real people out there that can relate. I agree regarding personality - like my humor is still as sarcastic and irreverent as usual, but it almost seems as though I'm learning to pick my spots and audience better.
Your advice regarding taking the short acting pills during certain situations sounds awesome. My doc and I discussed it actually. And wow, yeah...I've noticed the same thing regarding social situations. All my friends invite me out and say it's so odd someone as 'outgoing' as me wouldn't like big group social events/parties...but I could never chill and figure out who to chat with, for how long, etc, and it was just getting worse. Maybe it'll be better now...
Well, I *think* I know about Hyperfocus. Feel free to expand or post a link? I just know I've always been able to 'overattend'...not necessarily at the right times all the time.
John D:
Thanks, it's good to keep in mind that everything won't be 'fixed' overnight, per se. I'm trying to keep my optimism in check also, as I don't think the meds will be a total solution, but just part of the approach. And I'm considering finding a Counselor that focuses on CBT/Coaching once I think I have the right med dosage.
JWilliams:
Good to hear it's working for you too, that's awesome, good luck as well.
I am curious to know how the Adderall works for you .Hey everyone, it's been a while since I last posted, as I was in the middle of working with my psychiatrist on getting acclimated to Adderall.
It's been about three weeks, and, I'm not sure where to begin. :-) I started with 5 mg pills, 3 X a day. From the first pill, I totally noticed the difference. It was great - I actually sat down at work and didn't have to put on my headphones to keep myself from getting distracted. I could actually be aware of the environment, but still focus. I've actually gotten way more work done in the past 3 weeks than normal.
I felt less worried than usual...and I'm not sure how to describe this other effect - but I feel like there's less excess 'chatter' popping up into my head randomly. It's not that I can't/don't still imagine things and daydream, but I feel like I control it, instead of the other way around.
I went up to 7.5 mg, 3x a day, and that kept working, but I started feeling 'withdrawal', so we're now trying 20 mg XR once a day. I speculate I might need 25 XR ultimately, but we'll see.
My doc says he's 'pleased' with the results, and thinks it's precisely what he'd expect for someone with ADHD. I've asked some friends if they've noticed anything, and they say they can't really tell, except that I do seem 'calmer' and more 'mellow.'
So I dunno, does all this seem similar to what you all experienced when you found the right med? I feel really optimistic now that I finally figured out what was going on all these years...and there seems to be a solution. One thing I'm worried about is being too optimistic...since it's so early, I don't want to get my hopes too high that the meds will keep working this way all the time...
Yes! Yes! Yes! Having the ability to actually CONTROL the "chatter" and not be soooooo distracted by EVERY little thing is a wonderful thing, isn't it! What you've described is pretty much how it was for me when I began taking Adderall. I take Adderall XR, 20mg per day. I believe you mentioned that you are in your 20s. I was 40 when I was diagnosed--3 years ago. If I had been diagnosed and on meds for the last 20 years... I can only imagine how much agony I would have been spared! Knowing what I know now I have to say, use the medication!!! It makes your brain function the way it's supposed to! It's as simple as that!
I've been a teacher for seven years, and when I finally found out that I had ADD and began taking Adderall, WOW! It's just like you said. The "chatter" or, as I call it, the 3 ring circus (hence, my member name) suddenly disappeared. I became so much calmer, I could find things easier, remember things better--It was as if I finally got my head screwed on right!
You mentioned in your first posting about personality changes. I was also concerned about that as well. What I've found is that the meds don't change my personality at all. Yes, I am calmer, maybe a bit more low-key at work. But, I'm still the same out-going, kind of ditzy, crazy person I've always been. (I couldn't attribute all of my dinginess to the ADD--just some of it!) When I starting taking the medication, I didn't tell anybody except my husband. About three months after I had been taking the medication, I discussed it with two of my trusted coworkers. Neither thought that my personality had changed at all, but both had noticed that I seemed less frustrated and less overwhelmed with things.
One more thing... You may eventually begin to feel that the medicine just isn't working anymore. Sometimes, when you've been taking it for a long time the dosage may need to be increased. I felt like my medication wasn't helping anymore after about 1 1/2 years. However, instead of increasing the Adderall XR, my doctor prescribed 10mg of regular (short-acting) amphetamine. I usually take one of these with my XR in the morning and then I'm usually fine for the work day. I'll also take one of the short-acting pills for an afternoon or evening meeting. I also found that they are great for social occassions. I had gotten to where I didn't like to socialize anymore because I couldn't focus on what people were saying. It was so obvious to them that I wasn't listening. I'm sure everybody just thought I was rude. Anyway, I use these pills and I once again enjoy socializing.
SORRY ABOUT THE NOVEL GUYS! I'm just excited to share my experiences and learn that we all have so much in common! ...except that I'm more long-winded than everybody else! Adderall has already worn off by now!! I'm in HYPERFOCUS mode!!! :)
jjohnson - Do you know about "hyperfocus?" One of the GOOD things about ADD?
3RingCircus39302.7781018519[QUOTE=jjohnson] So I dunno, does all this seem similar to what you all experienced when you found the right med? I feel really optimistic now that I finally figured out what was going on all these years...and there seems to be a solution. One thing I'm worried about is being too optimistic...since it's so early, I don't want to get my hopes too high that the meds will keep working this way all the time...[/QUOTE]
Well yeah, sounds similar to my experience. I couldn't believe how well the med (Adderall, like you) took care of my symptoms at the beginning. And I did get too optimistic in that at first I didn't realize that the meds did great with some of my traits (like patience, focus, and giving me a "settled" feeling) and didn't do squat for other traits (like procrastination, sense of time and keeping track of time....).
And the meds continue to dramatically diminish those same traits today, and as for the other traits--I've come to realize that I'll probably never get relief from these using meds, but with work (and help from a counselor) I'm chipping away at these too.
Hi jjohnson, your experience sounds similar to mine. I've been on adderall for about a month now and it is still working great. I too feel like I have more choice about where I place my focus. I still wear headphones at work but it is just as easy to work without them now. I hope the good results continue for you.
And John D, i completely empathize with how adderall has helped some but not all symptoms. I can focus now but I still have to make sure that I focus on the right things. The tasks I dread and put off I still have a harder time doing. But I don't think medication can help me with that.
You can always go for a med trial and stop if you decide meds are not for you. That way you will know how the meds affect you and if they fit into your life. Knowlege is power.
If you needed glasses, would they say that bumping into a few walls was OK, because we need more people that bump into walls? They will more than likely be supportive, whatever you ultimately do. Aslo because friends do not live with the full consequences, they may not be fully aware of how you struggle at times.
vickie39238.8302083333Hello, I'm new to this forum, my apologies if what I'm asking about or my situation is represented enough already.
I'm in my late 20s and was diagnosed with Bipolar and ADHD when i was 20. Multiple specialists I saw concurred that I had both. At the time, I was scared of the side effects of taking ADHD meds related to my bipolar, so never treated or thought much about how ADHD affected my daily life.
After switching colleges, multiple job changes (which are getting more frequent now) and various other life events, I've finally decided to stop and think seriously about what I could possibly do on a daily basis to take control of my life rather than just react to everything that pops up.
My psychiatrist is open to my trying meds for the ADHD, but as I've been thinking about it, I've found my support network has been extremely resistent.
My family and friends (who I'd say are pretty educated in general...maybe not about this stuff, but in general) keep telling me things like: "Oh this is just your personality...there are all types of people in the world, it's nice having people like you to balance the rest of us out...why bother you're doing well enough anyway..."
Has anyone else faced this, and if so, how'd you deal with it? I'd prefer not to just go on these meds alone and hide it from my support network...especially since I'd in theory act differently while on them.
Lots of stuff jjohnson.Thanks MetisRebel and Vickie for responding and I thought your responses were really helpful.
MetisRebel -
1. Yeah, it'd be nice to not be so impulsive at times. A few of my job changes were definitely due to poor impulse control -- i.e. I'd quit on impulse and jump at another opportunity, whether it was the best decision for the long term or not.
2. Yes, I'm taking Depakote for the bipolar and am stable on that.
Thanks everyone for your advice and words of encouragement. It's great to read everyone's input. One thing that I realize now after reading what everyone said is that I should stop looking for permission, especially from people that aren't experts in this area.
After reading what people wrote, I made a concerted effort to change how and what I said regarding trying meds and noticed a definite difference in the responses I got from my offline support network (I'm now looking at you all as my ADHD support group). For instance, one of my family members said something completely different and more positive after I explained I wanted to try meds as a strategy, instead of painting myself as having a 'problem,' since that seemed to make my family defensive about whether I had a 'problem.'
Anyways, so I took the plunge and my doctor initially prescribed me Concerta. It was really strange to use that stuff. I immediately felt calm within the first 45 minutes of taking it, almost too calm -- I felt I was much flatter emotionally and not as quick to respond to things or talk as much as normal. I took it for about a week, but was super tired during the day, and had to take naps periodically. Eventually I stopped taking it as the side effects didn't seem to be worth it.
My doctor has decided to have me now try Adderall instead. I'm going to start at 10 mg for a week, then move up to 20 mg and see how it goes. I'm definitely being cautious in terms of the dosing (my doc says I'm clearly taking baby steps), but think that's the best way to go for now.