Has a hard time w/ schedule blips | ADHD Information
Any time something is OFF in dd's schedule that is it for us, for the rest of the day. I get so frustrated and tired sometimes. Today for example, we were running late. Chris left early and he is usually my alarm clock, so I rolled over and looked at the clock and it is 30 min until time to leave for school! Of course I am thrown off, have to get her patch on and everything, so we are rushing around. Well she threw fits from the moment she woke up about everything- getting dressed (I dont want to wear that!) eating (I dont want that for breakfast!) brushing her teeth, making her bed- everything. It was such an awful morning, but its the norm when something is just a bit off in our day. Heaven forbid something may change, she just loses it when things dont go as planned or we are late or something but this is how life IS! Its hard b/c I feel stuck on this tight rigid schedule we're on to accomodate her and just feel ill if anything happens like today. Is anyone else's ADHD child like this as well?Tina
Most ADHD children are like that. MY only suggestion is if on the days you are really off track to skip some things. Maybe forget making the bed until after school, let her wear whatever she wants, eat whatever she wants (within reason), it wont hurt for one day and beats fighting and stressing you out more.
I tend to agree with Diane V - if you can let some things go for the moment, it can save a lot of sanity. We went through horrible mornings because I insisted my ds follow the "rules" even though waking up late for anyone can be a roller coaster, it's especially trying on an ADHD child - I started giving ds a break thinking this way: they already have the bad organizational skills, the inability to follow too many directions and all that going on that 30 minutes for them to "pull it all together" is a bit much.
My son is exactly like your daughter, and he went to school a few times with a handful of Doritos and another time or two with a ho-ho! 
My daughter is the same way... the way I look at with her is... she has a schedule in her head of what she needs to do... she doesn't verbalize this schedule to anyone. and if something we do is not on her schedule she has a melt down.... has gotten better on meds.
I think this is why she is so distracted at times... she can be in the middle of doing her homework or school work and then she remember something that is on her schedule and has to do at that time to sort to have to check her off her list of things to do.
We go over schedules out loud and have her repeat then back to me so I know she has heard and knows what is to be done.... we use the clock quiet a bit. 7am time to get up... unitl 7:30am time to eat breakfast, next get dressed..etc.. out the door by 8am. I have to remind her of the time and what is next on the schedule.
I was late once and only once ( i don't want to go thru it again) we were 1/2 late and could eat her normal 2 fried eggs in the morning (didnt have time to make them plus I was out of eggs) she didn't want anything else and could not get past that point. a waffle wasn't good enough, then everything went down hill afterwards... her clothes she wanted to wear were dirty, she couldn't find this or that, didn't want her lunch that I packed...etc...
Now we choose her clothes the night before and have her backpack ready to go as well... as far as lunch now I give her 3 choices and she gets to choose... if she says that she wants something else.. I tell her that she can have that next week when I go food shopping.
A unplanned schedule change is horrible...even when she is on meds. So to answer your question... yep... my dd is like that as well.
My son is the same, yes it is a characteristic of adhd. When things like oversleeping occur, i let the bed thing go. just get'em dressed, teeth brushed, fed, and out the door.
My son loves his routine, but it is not always possible. He has gotten a lot better as he has gotten older.
Don't stress at her so she doesn't stress back!! I am famous for doing that, but have learned from my mistakes. It gives my son anxiety and worry!
Hang in there with the rest of us!
My son can't deal with change either. This year (7th grade) they changed the way the clusters were divided and how the periods were divided in school and he had a real hard time getting used to it.
He just kept complaining how it was better last year, etc. etc. and was miserable.
He's getting better now but he used to have to do everything the same way as it was always done. This would get annoying - order the same thing in a restaurant and it better come out the way it was the last time. Do the exact same thing we did last year on vacation if we went to the same place, etc. etc. We used to go to the mall (before he turned 13 and wasn't embarrased to be seen with me) and we'd eat at the food court. Even though he really wanted to try something new, he always would end up at the same place. We even had a routine - had to circle the court, even though we would end up at the same place, had to eat a sample at the Japanese place (heaven help us if the samples weren't out)
He's getting better at this as he is getting older so I think this is something that bets better with maturity.
Every time we did a remodel in the house, he'd get upset - I miss the old dishwasher, the old stove (please, get serious), etc. etc. He had a fit when we painted his room a different color - (we had to - the original paint was filthy).
If we are running late he has an anxiety attack. He's had meltdowns when we are off even just a minute.
My son's like this too. So is my brother- his wife complains that if any little thing goes differently in the morning he's a mess for the rest of the day.
I've found that if I just take a minute to calmly and slowly (hard when the schedule change is because you're running late) explain that do to whatever things are going to a little different this morning. Then I ask him to please try to be understanding about it, tell him I know he doesn't like it, and then tell him what I need him to do next. I also always try to remember to only give one- step directions if the schedule is off- if everything is perfectly normal he still has a hard time with two or three step direction.
Other than that I just breathe.
This discussion is very interesting. I thought how rigid my child is was due to anxiety issues and trying to keep everything "the way it should be" in order to reassure himself. My 7 year old cannot deal with change. If they eat lunch 1/2 hour early at school, he's convinced his body doesn't get hungry at that time and he doesn't eat that day. When the teacher changed his seat to a new location (he focused better in the new location), DS spent a couple of weeks complaining that this isn't where is supposed to be and isn't what he's used to. Those are just a couple of examples. I could go on and on. Has anyone had success with geting our kids to be more flexible? My child has a lot of trouble with peers related to this. Whenever someone does something they shouldn't, he corrects them so everything can return to proper order. It's hard to play sports or other games with him if he sees some rule violation, he corrects peers in the classroom if they don't follow the class rules perfectly, etc.
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