ADD and emotional disconection | ADHD Information

Do you love your parents? yes, I do love my parents. I have noticed that it seems a lot harder to stay connected with them (as well as the rest of my family) now that I am on my own and sometimes I have to overcome a lot of anxiety in order to make a phone call but I have always just assumed that this was due to not interacting with them as often and on the same level as I used to when I was living with them (Also, I have heard that social anxiety sometimes acompanies ADD so I thought it was a little of that too).
I don't know what to say. I find that without meds I tend to be more emotional about everything.

Yeah, I guess I'm not the only one wondering why people say you make your closest friends in college... I feel like I drifted through college and left with maybe 2 close friends instead of bonding with an entire hall or group of people.

I also find that I do much better one-on-one with people, especially quiter people who'd rather listen than be the center of attention.

I must agree that I have felt like an alien most of my life. I started taking Ritalin (because I am poor and my health ins. won't cover brand names) and I felt like I had been pulled out of a well.

I went to grad school for two years and I came out of it without any lasting connections to any of my classmates, and had the same problem prior.

I think it is because we communicate differently and over the years all that unsucessfulness has been translated into low self-esteem and the pervasive feeling we are alone in the world. Why Ritalin did that I do not know.

I mean how can an amphetamine suddenly bring you back in step with normal people? The side effects are not very fun, but for that second week I felt very connected to my community. This has slightly worn off as the side effects have begun cropping up. I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and was medicated until I was 14. Since then I have just learned to deal with the fog and other symptoms. A few years ago I graduated from college and entered the real world ;P. Recently I have gotten back on medication (Strattera) to help me stay focused and mentally quick at work and I have noticed some strange side effects since then.

I have had problems with relationships since graduating from college, I have dated quite a bit but have always been unhappy. I never really felt any sort of strong connection with the women I dated and often times felt that we had little in common.

Since I have started the Stratterra I have started dating someone whom I really have a strong connection with and am happy with (feels the same as those relationships I had in school). I have noticed though that if I ever miss a dose of medication or run out that those feelings of disconnection re-occur. I again feel like I have nothing in common with my partner and at times it gets so bad that she really seems like a stranger to me.

I am really confused by these changes in my emotional state but I am definately happier on the Stratterra. Has anyone here had any similar experiences or have any idea about what might be going on? Is this possibly due to a brain chemistry imbalance that the stratterra fixes (perhaps a deffieciency of dopamine or PEA)?

I saw a documentary recently about brain damage and there was this guy who was in an accident. Afterwards he felt that everyone whom was previously close to him were suddenly strangers. He still remebered everyone and had all of his memories, he was just absolutely convinced that the people he saw now were not the people that he remebered (gee, that is pretty much how I feel when I miss a dose). The doctors eventually found that there was damage to the part of his brain that stored emotional memory so that it could not communicate with the part of his brain that was observing and interacting with his family.

Could an abnormal brain chemistry lead to poor communication between these parts of my brain. The thing that really worries me is that I have had relationships in the past WITH OUT medication and I didn't have this problem, so whatever this is, it must be a new neurological/pychological development. Any information or shared experiences on this topic would be VERY appreciated. Thanks.

Dregan, I absolutely feel un-emotional when not on ADD medication. Fortunately for me the career that I picked, and picked me was perfect for this type of personality. If you haven't guessed by now, computer programming. Something that is all logic, and no emotions. One of the instant effects of taking the ADD medication was an amazing ability to finally empathize with other people, and to consider the emotional side of every conversation. So yes, the medication did make a dramatic emotional change in my life.

Dregan, if you figure this one out, I'd love to hear what you've discovered. I went through exactly the same scenario about two years ago, and ended up leaving my girl for a number of reasons. Starting up on Strattera helped me clear up my thinking and focus on what I needed to pay attention to in my life, but after a while (once things had settled down elsewhere), I got back to thinking about my relationship, and ended up going cold on it anyway.

It turns out that the feelings of unconnectedness didn't really have anything to do with the relationship, but where I was in my life. You see, I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything, and I really felt like I was going nowhere. That shot my self-esteem to hell, and there was nothing that being in a relationship could do to help that situation. Basically, I ended up putting my relationship to the side to work on my life and get myself to a place where I was happy with myself.

Where are you in life?

I find it very difficult to express my emotions, like I have flat
affect, which keeps me from showing emotion. I think it has a lot
to do with my ADD. Exciting moments for me are not noticed by
those around me. Sometimes I can't physically laugh, even
though I find what is going on to be hilarious. When I'm really
sad, I never cry, the feeling just travels to my stomach making
me feel sick.

But I think part of my problem is that the world I live in isn't
exciting enough for me, not that I don't have good experiences,
people are just in a totally different mind set, and this usually
makes me feel disconnected with most people. I'm constantly
looking for the most exciting, thrilling and adventurous activity,
that most things going on in the real world are too insipid and
boring for me to be patient with. I will always be that way.

I guess that's why my friendships never last long. I'm in a
different world than they are, and I become disconnected with
them, and we fade apart. Sometimes painfully abruptly, leaving
me torn and worse self-esteem. Atop of that, school has
become more and more of a burden that I can no longer deal
with, no matter how ambitious I am. I'm dropping out of my
present school, and considering a better school. But I fear my
past will be repeated there as well. I don't know how long I
need to finally straighten myself up. When will I be ready to take
on the real world, or will I never be?

I find that if things are not going well for you, to stop and take an
easier route. You can't always depend on medicines, you don't
want to take them for too long, and if you're off of them you will
always have to find a way to cope. It's best to accept what you
cannot change, make needed sacrifices, and fix the things you
can.

Most of my life, I have felt completly outside myself. I can drive the car and feel like i am not really there, and have to focus really hard to do it. But I also do have emotions, but extreme ones, feelings of impending doom usually.

On meds, Completes me. I feel attuned to the world and to the people in my life. I dont take them tho, because I have heart palpatations and my family have a habit of dropping dead b4 they are 60 - so I want to participate a little longer.

All I can say is while you are on the meds, focus on getting a job that earns you good enough income to support your meds. Because if they make things that much clearer and in tune for you. You need to focus on sustaining it.

About your question of Brain Chemistry - Yes, Brain Chemistry creates all sorts of emotional annomiles in ones psyche. And everyone is different.

My daughter has an aquired brain injury, and she was expected to loose the power of speech and be paralysed, yet she did not. She has healed astoundingly well - in fact most people dont know she has one. Except for her memory. So therefore she did not Damage as per doctors knowledge. The brain is very individual.

Rae7038316.298125

A common symptom of ADD is that the mind and emotions do not communicate, and the result either we live in our minds or our emotions. For me, the link has been broken, which has resulted in my living alone in this foggy brain. Communication and interpersonal relationships rely heavily on the connection between the mind with the emotions.

Have you noticed that in times of strong emotional pain that your mind was clearer?

subayai and spaced, please tell me what meds you are on! i would soooo love to feel emotionally connnected to someone, ANYONE!

i have been with my current for six years now and so many times when he kisses me i feel nothing to very little. at times i think it is just because he is not very supportive but he would rather throw money at me for finding a dr. to help me rather then just hold me when i feel so out of control in my life but instead he gets mad and impatient with me and i have thought of leaving him many a times just because i think he can do so much better then me and does not need this baggage filled person hanging around his neck!

Oh how this rings true...I was on meds when I was a little girl, up until 14 years old...back then when you hit that age it all went away...wrong...guess again. Up until I started my Adderall I was not able to have any kind of "normal" relationship...never felt like I was apart of a huge group...even in marching band...didn't matter I would get close to one or two people and that was it, no if's and's or but's. Now life is so very different...the only other thing that really put a hurt on my emotions was the abuse I have dealt with mostly from my parents but there were others as well...now not only is that part of my past, but I've gotten literally past it and can honestly tell people that I love them, be it the great guy that's been in my life for over three years now no matter what or family or friends and there's no pain or worry with it...and the biggest part I know that it's not just the words coming out of my mouth or the other person's mouth, it's all very real... BTW, both parents are in counseling finally...just took me being diagnosed for all this to get better...

[QUOTE=OpenYourEyes]

A common symptom of ADD is
that the mind and emotions do not communicate, and the result
either we live in our minds or our emotions.

[/QUOTE]

Yes. I find it hard to participate with the outside world, I'm
always stuck inside my head. Sometimes it's hard for me to
express my thoughts with words, even though they are strong
inside my head. [QUOTE=jamieileana]

subayai and spaced, please tell me what meds you are on! i would soooo love to feel emotionally connnected to someone, ANYONE!

Medications are only slightly effective, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I'm not saying they're complete BS (mine work, after all), but if change is going to happen, it's going to happen because you're actively involved in making it happen. Drugs don't change people: people change people.

If what you're experiencing is due to ADD, depression, gimpy leg, blue tablecloths, general madness, etc., your man needs to understand that and help you when you ask for help. Does he know what's up? Are you sure that what you're feeling is due to some condition of yours, and not something shared between you?

The only emotions I have are anger and happiness. I don't even know how to act around someone who is emotional. I usually just run the other way because I don't feel like dealing with their "drama"