I need some advice | ADHD Information

We also have that problem. When she was on Concerta, it really changed her personality for the worse. Now she uses Ritalin LA. We still were getting bad behavior after school, so we tried short-acting doses after school. That didn't work very well for her. What did work was Tenex. We added Tenex and we were actually able to back off of the Ritalin LA and drop the short-acting completely. Tenex is a blood pressure med used off-label for ADHD. It really helps her impulse control.Is he this way at home even when meds are in his system? Like on weekends? I am just wondering if some of it is not rebound? Also what else has he tried besides Metadate and Focalin? That's only 2 different meds. There are so many, there is no reason for you to live like this. We've been doing the "med thing" for over three years and we still havent found that "right med" or "right med combo" either. Everything that seems to help her ADHD sympotms she has terrible side effects from. My daughter has just always handled the antidepressant route better than stimulant route. A lot of kids need a combination of meds. I completely understand your hesitation though. I do think you need to know the casue of so much behavior issue just at home. I know a lot of kids do hold it together out of the home and all that frusration of "being good" comes out at home, but if that's the case it still needs to be dealt with.

He has the rebounds at night even after a pm dose of Focalin but he's this way with us from sun up to sun down. Or should I say SON up to SON down...

He started off on Adderal, then we went to Focalin, then Metadate, tried Daytrana (worked better but he HATED the patch), then back to Metadate with a pm dose of Ritalin.  Right now he takes Focalin in the mornings and short acting Focalin in the pm. He started this the last week of school, did great, and the first week of summer break, he was darn near PERFECT. I could NOT believe the wonderful week we had. But that's been 3 weeks now and it's just getting worse and worse and I'm getting more and more frustrated.

Oh, somewhere in the midst of all those meds, we did try Clonidine at night.  It didn't seem to do anything.

I just got comfortable giving him stimulants, I made my peace with it, but these other meds scare me.  The Depakote sounds terrible. What is Risperdal? I like to know and read up on all the meds before I even talk to the dr about them. I always come here and read everything I can about it..

I don't think he's depressed and he certainly doesn't seem to get the fact that he doesn't fit in, or that most kids want to play with his 5.5 year old brother instead of Will.

His potty mouth is terrible.. He's not cursing but he's always saying butt and shut up and all the things that he was taught that are direspectful.

Whenever we ask or tell him to do anyting he says no, you're not the boss of me..and he makes ALL these terrible looking facial gestures like he could really punch us out.  He's never been physical, except with his brother, but I just wonder if that's next.

This is the part that's confusing to me.  It seems he can turn it off in a heartbeat. We were recently in a store, he was driving me crazy, always having to have the last word, and when we went to checkout, he was the absolute sweetest kid ever. to the cashier.. He was so polite, and sweet that I felt faint.

We're seeing our pediactrian that has a lot of experience dealing with ADHD. We've had many long talks over this and I truley feel that he's doing everything he can for us..

I am just so upset.  I want and NEED to find something that works for Will, before our family falls apart...

 

Just a couple quick thoughts - I too would try some different ADHD meds to see if you have better luck. 

I think that our son does better behaviorally with the structure of the school setting (with the help of the meds anyway).  I think that he has fits and tantrums with us that he does not have at school.  I believe that at school because there is so much structure that the kids know what to expect each day - our lives at home are not quite as structured.

Children also know how to push our buttons as parents !!  We find that if we are firm and consistent, he will try less and less to manipulate us.

What do you do when he acts this way?  I only ask because my son's (he's9) defiance/nastiness gets worse if I show even a little inconsistency in disciplining him for it.  I use 123 Magic and it works great, but only if I count every single behavior.  If I try to ignore him he keeps it up until I count him. 

Also, do you use a reward system of any kind?  We have to change ours every few month or he loses interest.

I have never found a reward that works for more than a day or so.  I try to catch him being good, but lately, he can't even sleep without making noises..

I've started a med break today. His dr and I discussed doing so, just to see if maybe the stims are causing some of the anger. So far, and it's just after lunch, he is not doing so well. He is pestering his little brother to pieces,  is banging on things left and right, stomping his feet and just laughing like it's the funniest thing. I am trying my best to not lose my patience, but I don't see how I can last much longer.

He's just trying his best to make me mad. He said earlier he's moving out, I have no idea where, but I'm about ready to help him pack.

I try to maintain structure and balance in our home. We basically do the same things everyday and I always try to warn and prepare him for anything different.

Does anyone have an ideas on a med we haven't tried that MIGHT help?

I never wanted to do meds to start with, but now I am just desperate..

What about some of the long acting methylphedinates? Concerta or Ritalin LA?

We've done the long acting Metadate CD and Focalin. Isn't Ritalin just the same thing? I don't know anything about Concerta..

They are all methylphedinate. Every med and every delivery system works and is metablized differently. My daughter could not tolerate Concerta at all, but did OK on the Ritilan LA. There are people on here that LOVE Concerta though. I think it is worth a try.How do you know when the stimulants just aren't the answer?

Well we gave up on them, but mine was more due to side effects. It's was easier to make that decision with the terrible tics and nervousness. I am using tricyclic antidepressants right now, but may think about stopping them all and trying some alternatives. We are not seeing and side effects from the TCA so I will wait until I hit target dose and see how she is, but I am with you. It's hard to know when to just rethink.

I think it's worth giving the Ritlain LA and/or Conncerta a shot. You'll know in a few days if it's working.

If you give up, we can live thorugh it together. .

I wonder how long of a med break I should do.. It's been 7-8 hours and I'm about to pull my hair out, or his..

I'm trying to hold off on calling the dr but really I don't know how much more I can take, but I can honestly say he isn't much worse than he's been all weekend.

We just came back from the pool, hoping that would tire him out some, but nothing so far, but more of the same.

Gosh, this is so hard and I feel so alone... My DH isn't patient at all and I feel like I'm the only one trying.. I want and need some help, but when he does get home, he makes it worse...

I wonder what are  different mood stabilizers and if they are the route we should be taking....

Talk to the doctor. He doesnt have a coexisting condition that you know about right? I would think if you truly want a med break check though it'd be about 2 weeks at minimum. If that is the right answer. Was the med break just to see what his behaviors did or was he having side effects?

I'm really sorry about your situation.  I am a teacher (special ed) and I see this all the time.  Have you tried removing things that he likes?  Such as TV or internet?  My son is 5 and the internet is his thing.  Also does he do this in front of his peers?  Or is it an issue of not having friends?  Many time ADHD kids have a hard time forming relationships and tend to get angry with the people that love them when they are unsucccessful socially.  He must feel like he can treat you this way and get away with it.  I would definetly find out what he likes and take it away.  It may be very hard but stand your ground.  There is a book called Try and Make me.  I read it when my son was diagnosed,( our ped recommended it), it was very helpful.. It is geared towards ADHD kids.  Good luck.

I don't know if he has a co existing condition.  He hasn't been diagnosed with anything. His dr and I have talked and he seems to think he does have something else but we cannot seem to pinpoint it.

We do have a little bit of depression and anxiety in our family but no one has ever been officially diagnosed with anything.  We've never found the thing that works with him, like a game or doing something special.

I don't know what the difference between mood disorders and some of the other things are or how to diagnose them.

He does worry a lot about things he cannot change, has a really hard time adjusting to different enviroments or not knowing exactly what we are doing, is highly sensitive, gets angry at us at the drop of a hat,  doesn't really care who sees it as for as kids his own age.  But most adults have not seen this side of him.

He really doesn't have any friends, except for our neighbor, who has said on many occasions that he'd rather just play with his 5.5 yr old brother. And he is 9 yrs old. I've heard that ADHD kids are 30% behind in maturity than kids their own age, but Will honestly acts more like a 2-3 year with a better vocabulary.  He will be 8 next Tuesday.

I really think you should take him to be evaluated. Who diagnosed his ADHD? Does he see a psychiatrist? It really sounds like he's got some anxiety issues and they need to be addressed.

No he doesn't see a psychiatrist?  How do we go about finding a good one?

We tried one last year and she was just terrible and kept telling me how much worse it could be.

hey, thats my son over there, send him home please. I swear, he is exactly like my son.  The difference is, my son is not threatening.  He will be a great negotiator and attorney one day.  If I tell him not to do something, he asks why and then starts giving me suggestions of ways he can do it.  It drives me nuts.  I choose to think of him as spirited.  He is great in school, no problems but it is more structured there and that is why I think he does better there.  Longsally, you can come get him.. He'll be on the front porch.

OK, GREAT problem solved! .

 

Can your pediatrician recommend some one? You can also call your insurance company and get a list of covered providers. Call your local hospital. If you have a Childrens hospital nearby even better.

Ok, What does everyone think of this? 

I am sitting at my desk, which is just off from the kitchen, with the door shut to keep out the cat.. I heard the fridge door open, and then I heard a bottled drink open, you know the sound, so I quitely jump up and open the door.  There stands Will trying his best to get a bottle of DR Pepper back. He knew I caught him, so he immediately said, Oh I was just going to pour this for you.

I KNOW that's a lie and I could tell that he had drank some of it.

I didn't cause a scene, I just said you know you are not allowed to have that, and I know you were not getting it for me, do not touch it again.

They are not allowed cokes of any sort, except for special occasions, and today is not special.

Sooo.. Do you think that since we have been on a med break since Sunday, that his body is making him crave caffeine?  Or am I over analyzing here?  he's never pulled this before...

Could he be having withdrawals from the stimulants and his body is trying to compensate here?

Or am I crazy???

I think personally that you're overanalyzing .

I think he's being a typical kid who thought you wouldn't bag him!

Ok,here's my problem...

Will is an ADHD, very hyper, loud, impulsive almost 8 year old boy.  I've had a hard time with medicating him, but have finally decided he needed help. We've been doing stimulants for close to 2 years and we've tried several..The Metadate and Focalin both did wonders for him at school. He's still talkative and hyper, but was managing ok, learning and not being a problem. But that's in school.

At home he is rude, defiant, talks back, calls us (me, DH, and his little brother) names, and seems to go out of his way to make us miserable. And he's doing a fine job of it. Things have to go exactly the way he wants them at all times or he just has a fit.  The dr said our next trial of meds would be a mood stabilizer or Depakote (which after reading the side effects, I'm terrified of).

The part I don't understand is why he's only this way with us. It's so hard not to take it personally when it's so consistently JUST with his immediate family. When I told his teacher how things were at home, she was just stunned as are most people..

I just don't know what to do anymore. I want help for HIM and for our family. It seems to be getting worse and worse.

His Pediatrician is great and is really dedicated to helping us but I just don't know what we need to do next.

All I know is I am miserable.

 Does anyone have any advice? I know you are not drs but I'm sure I'm not the only one who has dealt with this.

Thank you!

What kind of Dr? A psych or a pediatrician? I would look into Bi Polar or ODD before using those meds.

My youngest is much the same way. Stress/anxiety due to the effort of fitting in with others at school is expressed as anger and defiance. We first tried guanfacine with good effects. The stress started again when she started being teased at school. We have added risperdal and have been working towards the right dose, increasing it to 1.5mg/day so far. We have seen no side effects and she is happier and more carefree. This may be because the teasing incidents have stopped (effort of school personnel and other students), school is almost over or the med. The mood stabilizers and anti psychotics are given in much lower doses for the anxiety than for their original use.

I would talk with the doc about what the doc thinks is going on and what the med is expected to do and if it is being used off label. You will need quite a bit of comfort in the doc's guidance using these types of meds. When used properly, they can be quite effective but they can have bad side effects.

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