I need help for relentless behavior | ADHD Information

My son is on Tenex 1/2 mg - no side effects but we did have some hurdles to over come to teach him how to behave properly. Yes, don't confront the child when they are having a "moment". They are just looking for a reaction - positive or negative. Behavior modification along with meds. and patience worked for us.

Read Transforming the Difficult Child. Very helpful whether your child is ADHD or not. Also, I have stated this before - a lot of how we react is sending the kids the wrong message - learn to act appropriately to their behaviors ( all of them good or bad) and they will respond in kind in time.

Trust me I have had to bite my tongue on more than one time but soon I too learned how to react right to those moments.

Hi, I just wanted to let you know that our boys sound just alike, except Will will be 8 next week..

The anger, the noise, the constant talking.... Everything.. little things set him off also. Will is so hyper, so wild, and loud that it's driving me insane.. Right now, we are taking a med break, so it's REALLY bad, plus school is out, so it's me and him and his little brother 24 hours a day. (except I'm thinking about calling his dad to come home for the afternoon so I can get away!!!)

I have a really hard time with his immaturity.. He's been running around in circles, waving in hands and screaming like a wild...I don't know what...

Will was on Metadate for a long time, about 5 weeks ago, we switched to Focalin and now are on a break. I am thinking of asking the dr about Concerta since I've read here that it may last longer.  And then maybe he can take an afternoon dose of Ritalin.

I just wanted you to know that you are not alone...

Keep us posted. I'll keep checking back.  Maybe someone has a perfect solution!

Thank you all for the advice and encouragement.  I wanted to share something that might help some of you.  In the fall I applied for medical assistance for my son.  I live in PA and everyone with an ADHD diagnosis is eligible regardless of income level.  We now get our medications for free and we have a mobile therapist and a behavioral specialist on our case.  Before this I was having trouble finding a therapist that was covered under our insurance.  Now the therapist comes to our home.  She just left and it is amazing how my son will talk to her when he won't talk to me.  Sometimes you just need someone who is not emotionally involved to talk to them and get to the root of the problem. 

I am going to talk to the DR about tenex.

It is nice to know that I am not alone

Our son is in Metadate CD and it works wonderful for him, except that it wears off too early - like right before he would get on the bus after school.  We started the short acting ritalin at 2pm, and it seems to help him with the rebound - our nights are much better since we did that. 

I think your first post said that the ritalin made his heart race, but perhaps there is another short acting med you could use?

 

In terms of medication for the summer, is there a better medication that will be constant and help with the impulsiveness.  The metadate seemed to really help the attention in school but then we had to deal with the rebound.  I would love to have something that would just mellow him out for the summer - on that note wouldn't we all!!  Am I looking for a non-stimulant?  Where is the tenex thread that has been refered to?It is under ADHD medications.

Hi, my name is Amber and our ADHD son is very much the same as what you describe!! He was just diagnosed in March and he is currently on Adderal.  He will be 6 in July.

I struggle, too, with exactly what you are describing; trying to wake up and say "it's a new day" and 5 minutes later you're in the debate of your life with them. The literal melt downs if they don't get there way on the smallest of issues. I don't have any sure-fire things that work. But right now, I fight myself and keep my composure and look at him and say "Look, you're hurting my feelings right now and I don't want to hurt your's so let's take a break and talk about it in a minute." He's allowed to go in his room and sit like Diane V said she does. And it works. HOWEVER, we some times don't make it that way. There are the moments where I'm literally dragging him to his room screaming at him. I hate those moments, and I really do kick myself afterwards for it.  The main thing, mom, is that you have to maintain stability. There isn't a punishment that will work. I have the same problem. We are just going to have to maintain our tempers and our self control because I have found, if I keep my composure-it keeps our situation from escalating.  For the public moments, learn that look of "I am SOOO serious right now..."  I'm really in this with you . I guess I don't have any offers for you except that someone is here who totally gets what you're going through. I'm trying several different methods right now and I'll let you know which ones seem to be working.   I wanted to ask you, too, if you're rewarding him for what he DOES do well? Our son is doing much better with an allowance chart. What he checks off at the end of the week, he gets a treat for. Whether it IS letting him go to his first (reasonable) choice to eat or to buy a Dub City Car (his favorite ).  They really need to get that self-defeatist attitude relieved every once in a while. That's why the melt downs are so easy to come.  Anyway, sorry this is so lengthy. I guess I just find empathy for what you're dealing with. Best of luck to you.

By the way, we are medicating during the weekends and summer. He is VERY impulsive and very hyper but the Adderal (he's on 10 mg) has really helped him.  By 5:00 in the evening, there's the tired and frustrated little guy coming out but we just prepare.  I usually have art things out for those moment while I'm cooking.  (PlayDo, coloring, or he helps me cook) keeping those minds and hands busy really aids in this, too. I have found. Seriously, I'm done now! ha ha

One possible non-stimulant is Starterra - but it does not work for everyone - check out the meds psoting for more information and warnings. If it works, it can provide 24 hr coverage - usually kids need a stimulant plus the straterra

My dd has been on Concerta and tenex for over a year now. We medicate everyday. At first, the eating was a bit of an issue, but now she eats well. She is a bit pickier about what she eats. We recently have added straterra in hopes that will help the evening and mornings when she is off meds. We are finding that she gets extremely stressed out when she is off her meds, because she can't control her beahvior and she so badly wants to.

As a matter of fact, while waiting for the Straterra to kick (can take 4-8 weeks) I started giving her a short acting ritalin about the time the Concerta is wearing off and that gets her through bedtime. I let her read in bed until she was tired and wants to sleep - she usually does lights out by 8:30 pm.

We recently upped the Staraterra and may be finally seeing some results! Last night at supper, she told me "I am doing a good job, I don't think I need my pill tonight! So no short acting ritalin and she did great!

At first I was afraid of shoving pills down her throat so that I don't have to deal with the behavior, but when I see what this has done for her I ask myself why I didn't do it earlier?! Oh yeah - she is even better the next morning if she has had a good night the night before. Just think - you hate not knowing what little thing it is that is going to set off your son - think how he must feel. 

 

Wow, This is my second day here and I am just blown away! My son is 8 with ADHD he has been diagnosed a year ago. I wish I found this sooner I feel like I just won the lottery.  I feel and have been through everything I have read and more.  Its comforting to know that I am not alone and thinking I am nuts or a terrible mom.  

All great advice. I just wanted to mention that you say in your response post that you are considering medicating him on the weekends. I tried to just medicate on school days so that he would eat on the weekend.

When Monday came around, the meds really knocked him for a loop, he almost didn't talk he was so medicated. Then when Friday arrived all was good. It was too much of a yo yo. My son is ADHD 7 days a week, 24 hrs each day. We medicate him every day.

He eats and sleeps fine. His body has adjusted to his meds. He is also on guanfacine, since he began his concerta, both 3 years ago. He is also at the same dose for 2 1/2 years now, but I think it is time for an increase.

I would look into meds every day and see if that helps him. I have been told that it is not good to stop and start these meds.  Plus I also felt bad that my son was in trouble on the days off that he wasn't medicated for things that only the medication, that I wasn't giving him, would control!

Just my opinion

My dd is on concerta, which I give to her in the morning 7:30am and wears off around 12 hours later... we are able to get thru homework and most of the evening trouble free... It has worked wonderful for us.  she is 8 1/2 and been on concerta for 7 months, she has not had an side effects... this is just one person experience.

Good Luck to you and your son.

Thanks for all your help.  He is on Metadate cd so it is out of his system just in time for me!  We have learned to give him his space when he gets home and that seems to work.  We tried concerta and it made him depressed so we took him off it right away.  For a short time he was taking a small dose of ritalin but it made his heart race.  The metadate has made the school situation 100 times better but lately we have seen some increased anxiety and emotion while on the metadate.  He cried for 90 minutes today because the place I took him for lunch was not his first choice. We normally don't give him his medication on the weekends but now I am questioning that also.  I like the idea of not talking to him and although I tell him I won't talk to him until he settles down I always cave & start yelling because I am at my wits end.  I start each day with the intention of not yelling and I am lucky if I can get through breakfast without it.  I kick myself everytime I let him get the better of me.  I need to strenth to live through part when it gets worse before it gets better - any suggestions!

Well the thing I have to do is separate. And I am not going to my room. Which is why I started sending her to hers. I dont care what she does in there, she can play or whatever, but I will not get into a fighting match. When she is ready to talk calmly, we talk. The first time I started this about 6 months ago. I literally spent 2 hours putting her back in her room. Shed come out after a few mintues, we'd try to talk, if it didnt go well, took her by the arm and put her back. Once I did that, she got the point. Believe me there were (sometimes still are) days she screams at the top her lungs I AM NOT GOING IN MY ROOM!!!! and runs away. I follow (walking and NO TALKING). take her by the elbow and direct her to her room. I have literally picked her up and taken her there kicking and screaming.......but no talking and left her on hre bed and just walked out. Once she stops I always go in and we talk about it. EVERY time. Sometimes she forgets and just starts playing in there, so I go in and we sit on the bed and talk. If nothing else, she's learned I mean what I say.

It really sounds to me like you need med adjustment.

Read the Tenex thread.

When my 6 year old son does not get what he wants he goes into a frenzy and will not shut his mouth.  He continues to yell or scream or just talk nonstop regardless of what I am saying to him.  I can not seem to find a punishment that he even cares about.  He is medicated during school hours but not at home and I am losing my mind.  The smallest thing can set him off and I can never predict an episode.  Does any one have any suggestions to stop these situations from getting out of control.  He knows how to push my buttons and that makes me even more frustrated. 

2 things:

First, DO NOT LET HIM know he is pushing your buttons. When he decides to tantrum, let him know what the consequence is, we use our daughters room. Not necessarily a "time-out", but a time away.............from me. I tell her ONCE, if you do this or dont stop doing that you will go to your room. If she disobeys I point, if she starts to flip out, usually she does, I walk her to her room.....no speaking.......she is not allowed out of her room nor will I talk to her until she is calm. This way we dont get into that back and forth screaming match. All it does is escalate things and 90% of her tantrum is to provoke that. It took a while, but she knows I mean it now and I will not debate it. You cannot behave appopriately in the house around everyone, then go be alone until you can......end of discussion. The key, no talking do not even attempt it while he is flipping out. Talk AFTER. Once he is calm, then talk. It doesnt hurt to work on calming techniques duirng a minor tantrum so he will learn how to do this (counting, breathing, hitting a pillow on his bed). My 5 yhear old was a terrible tantummer (made up word) so we started the breasting counting thing about 2 years old. She still tantrums at 5, but we can get her back in control now.

Second, maybe you need a med adjustment. Does he do this on meds? Is it worse coming off the meds? Could be rebound. I'm not sure what he takes, but if it is a long acting stimulant, some kids need a short acting stimulant after school to help with rebound. Others still use Tenex in conjunction with stims for this. Both work.

Is he on a stimulant at school?

I wasn't diagnosed until adulthood. When I was on Ritalin and then on Adderal, bot meds worked great, but coming down at about 4:30 or 5 in the afternoon put me in a really, REALLY foul mood. I can't imagine how I would have handled that at 6 years of age. That could be part of it.