The best thing you can do is research what ADHD is, then have him psyche evaluated to determine what type of ADHD he has and how severe.  Once you have an understanding of the nature of this beast - you will feel a little more productive.

At diagnosis stage, it is very overwhelming (regardless of the age of your child). That is true for all of us.  But think of it as a positive thing.

It is great that you are now looking at the issues and learning that your son may be having problems that are beyond his control.  This will help both you and him.

I would not take hockey away from your son, as this may be the one thing that is saving his self esteem, and that is critical to maintain for adhd people.

He may not be a brain surgeon, he may only be a road worker that loves hockey - but if he is happy, you should be happy he is.  Remove all expectations at this stage until you get an understanding of what he is capable of and not. 

Find a very good psychiatrist, this is important!  Also, some family counselling for your family - because this will help the dynamics of your family.

Keep your chin up - this is not the worst thing in the world, but on the contrary a positive step in the right direction.  

It's amazing how teachers or school personnel can quickly jump the gun and complain.  My son is 16 and it is only within the last 6 months that we got his condition identified.  All these years wasted.  Beleive it or not the family doctor did not even say anything when i reported my son's restlessness, disprganisation, distractability, lack of concentration etc.  Her only comment was ' he has selective hearing'.  The teachers became intolerant of him and used to yell at the child.  He hates school now and he does everything to miss out.  He is bright and intelligent but as far as education is concerned he has blockages.  It is never too late except that you have to try harder to repair the damages and pray.  Good luck to you.

Chin up!  I'm such a genius, I didn't get it until my daughter was 16!  No one ever suggested she may be ADD...just didn't fulfill her potential.  Duhhh.

Oh, well.  Better late than never.  I knew my oldest was "gifted", and she wasn't like him...but, I'm not either!  It wasn't until the younger child was handling things (like keeping a key, homework turned in, packing for gymnastics meet...) better than her 3 year older sister, that I realized my 16 year old had the organizational skills of a 4th grader.

The greatest of these is love...

Mrs. G

LOL don't beat yourself up. 14 and 16 is not that bad, hell my parents still don't admit there is anything wrong with me.

Your already are doing a better job at handling this then the parents of all the people on this board that were not diagnosed until adulthood.

Now just learn as much about ADHD as you can, be understanding and give them time to adjust. Even as an adult it took me awhile to really figure out what adhd was and how it effected me.