Good psychiatrist meeting finally | ADHD Information

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[QUOTE=zjmom]

rswf -

What is the name of the book written by other ADHD teens and how old is your son?

{/QUOTE]

My son is 13.  The book is called A birds-eye view of teens with ADD and ADHD advice from young survivors.  I got it on Amazon.com.

Metisrebel - I asked my husband if he thought we had done damage with the other therapist but he didn't seem to think so.  With my son's defiance and denial, he wouldn't like Freud.

Seriously, what is done is done and I can't erase that.  Let's just see how he comes home on Wed. after the next apt.

I do think he is a tad depressed.  Although he has been out with friends practically everyday since school has been out, he's mopey and moody when home.  Ofcourse, this could be an act to get me going - he likes to start fights with me and I forget to walk away.

Sunday he said "we weren't a family and he wanted to run away"  When I told him if  he felt that way I couldn't leave him alone he says. "do you think I'm stupid, I get food and shelter here." I'll leave when I'm 18"

Now, I should know by now to walk away but this upsets me.  If only my son is functioning by 18 let him go but right now, he can't even remember to leave the house with his house key without being reminded.

 

 

 

rswf -

What is the name of the book written by other ADHD teens and how old is your son?

We had a similar experience with trying different docs/counselors and finally finding the one who you just knew was going to push you in the right direction. There's still more mountain to climb, but it sure gives you a refreshing little breather. I'm so glad for you and your son!!! 

[QUOTE=rswf]

You know, sometimes I get philosophical, or karmic or whatever, thinking that it was meant to be that we went to the previous councellor.  He did some good things but after one meeting with this new guy we could see the difference.

It's like we now have a point of reference for comparison. 

Ofcourse, the pressure is off my son because school is out.  Summer is always easier.  I never mentioned the rages and near nervous breakdowns my son had to the Dr. 

My son is going to see him next Wed., and then the following week too. 

I haven't given my son the book I got that was written by teens with ADD and ADHD and their survival tips and success stories.  I see my son in in this book but I don't think he's ready yet.  Maybe, over the summer, as he starts to accept that ADHD isn't the worst thing to have, I can give the book to him.

Patience - I have to keep reminding myself.

I liked how he told my son that they would just talk, no treatment or anything.  I also think it was a mistake to keep so much from my son in the past.  He now knows everything.  

Now the next hurdle - get those stupid tests from the Center for learning disabilities scheduled - I'll have to follow up again next week.

 [/QUOTE]



Well, as I said earlier, one of the biggest problems in the field is "counter-transferance" meaning that the person you are seeing is far too close to the problem themselves to be of sound assistance to you. What worries me is how much upset your son went through and how much resistance to treatment it built that was so unnecessary for the young fella.

The workers in the field have a *responsibility* to excuse themselves and make referrals in cases where the problem the client is experiencing is too close to home. The lack of responsibility shown troubles me greatly--you should not have had to leave the treatment--the worker should have referred you elsewhere.


You still have more chance to talk to the new doc. Chances are--he's already surmised some of the struggles you've faced and he may very well be able to get your son to admit to some of them as well

This psych is smart. The "talking" is about gaining information and the confidence of your son so your son can decide for himself that he likes the situation. And the psych can decide on the next course of action. Simply listening can cut resistance down so that you all can work things out much better and isn't that a happy situation?

Little tip:
When I wanted kids to see something I would leave it in the bathroom as if I forgot my "reading material"


MetisRebel39255.3602546296

You know, sometimes I get philosophical, or karmic or whatever, thinking that it was meant to be that we went to the previous councellor.  He did some good things but after one meeting with this new guy we could see the difference.

It's like we now have a point of reference for comparison. 

Ofcourse, the pressure is off my son because school is out.  Summer is always easier.  I never mentioned the rages and near nervous breakdowns my son had to the Dr. 

My son is going to see him next Wed., and then the following week too. 

I haven't given my son the book I got that was written by teens with ADD and ADHD and their survival tips and success stories.  I see my son in in this book but I don't think he's ready yet.  Maybe, over the summer, as he starts to accept that ADHD isn't the worst thing to have, I can give the book to him.

Patience - I have to keep reminding myself.

I liked how he told my son that they would just talk, no treatment or anything.  I also think it was a mistake to keep so much from my son in the past.  He now knows everything.  

Now the next hurdle - get those stupid tests from the Center for learning disabilities scheduled - I'll have to follow up again next week.

 

 

Hey that sounds like a GREAT start!

The doc is smart--let your son explore why he DOESN'T want to be there [of course he's resistant, who wouldn't be?] so later they can explore some reasons he might want to stay.

I'm not surprised that ds responded well afterwards. He probably worked himself up into a lather [don't we all?] about going to the psych and then found out that it wasn't as bad as he feared.

After all your struggles with the last counsellor trying force your son over his "denial"  this looks like a much better start for you.

Whoo hoo for happy beginnings!
rswf GREAT news! We are seeing a therapist for the first time with my daughter on Tuesday. This is encouraging .

We had the apt. with the new psychiatrist and I think, finally we have a good one.
What I find significant is my son's behavior after the apt.

This a.m. my son was his defiant self.  The Dr. was great.  He met with all of us and took the entire family history in front of my son.  It was funny because he said to my son "you don't want to be here do you?"  My son says grumpily "No"

When the Dr. asked him why he was here, ofcourse my son said "I don't know."

So the Dr. asked me to tell him why I made the apt. and I kept things very positive.  I pointed out all my son's great characteristics and how smart he is and that a boy who has an advanced vocabulary and writes so advanced shouldn't be getting a D in english.  And I said that he got a D in math with a tutor.  I told the Dr. how his bad grades were because my son didn't do his homework.  My husband said my son needs to cope better and I talked about how popular he is with his friends and that he has a little fan club with the other school mom's because they love his trumpet playing at the concerts.

I mentioned I was concerned that all the adults who care about him know that his problems are minor and he can be helped but he won't accept help.

We even talked about the past therapists and I still tried to keep things positive. I just said my son didn't click with the last one but he did diagnosis the ADD inatentive and get the school to initiate the 504.  I didn't want anything negative said.

So, the Dr. asks my son if he does his homework. Ofcourse my son says he does his homework.

Well, anyway - at the end he calmly said to my son that he wanted to get to know him, no treatment or anything and that anything he said was confidential.  He said he just wanted to see him two times, then he'd meet with all of us and if my son didn't want it we'd see.

I really liked this because right away the Dr. wants to establish a relationship with my son.

But the thing I find encouraging is my son's behavior after the apt.  Ofcourse he said "I don't have problems I don't need to be here. I accept help when I need it." But, he wasn't as defiant about it.

Also, we went out for Breakfast and he was  happy, he was pleasant.  And when we got home, he was happy, he was humming and he let me kiss him on the head.  During the apt. he was swearing at me under his breath

He wasn't angry.  He didn't get defiant about going back.

He was so angry and grumpy with the last therapists. 

Honestly, for the past two days I have been praying that he be given some strength to open up and I think maybe he is starting.

I'm not hoping for any miracles, but this is sure a good start.

 

 

WOW... I love to read such positive post... this is wonderful... I hope this psychiatrist works out for you and your family... he seems that he is in tune with your son.

You did great on what you said about your son... I know sometimes I have a hard time thinking of the positive side of my dd.  I bet he must of been great for our son to hear those things come from you.

Good luck to you and your family.