Workplace issue I could use help with... | ADHD Information

I understand what you mean and have the same issues. Mental illness, in general, is not understood by the majority of people. It is many times looked at as less of an illness and more of an 'excuse' or a 'personality thing'. It would be nice if co-workers (let alone family and friends) would understand but frankly, I usually think it is more difficult to try and explain it than just figure out creative ways to work around it. Some people will 'get it' but others won't even try. When I do have a conversation I usually ask if they would prevent a diabetic from taking an insulin shot. Mental Illness is an illness, treat it like one.

I like Metis' practical work solutions. I too tell everyone to email me, even my wife. I also rarely answer the phone if it is work related or an unknown caller, this way I can listen to the message and process in my own time without pressure. I almost always have headphones on when working to minimize outside noise and keep co-workers from hollering to me or talking over the cube to me because it prevents me from workiing and I can't usually track what they are communicating when they do that. I also have to take extra time before, during, and after the work day to make sure that I am on track with tasks and double-check my to-do's and make sure I didn't forget something important. I email myself reminders. When I get side-tracked on a non-relevent subject, I email it to myself so I can look at it later and let it go for now.

Could you have a one on one meeting with her and explain that ADHD is a physiological condition just like depression, diabetes, etc. And that her superior doesn't have a problem with it, could she be more specific about what she doesn't understand or get about your condition. Also, ask her if she is more concerned with getting the job done and the results or is she more worried with making sure that protocol (i.e. her rules) are followed. If she says that it has to be done a specific way, ask why. If she continues to push for 'her' way, go over her head.

One thing that hasn't yet been mentioned--unless I overlooked it--is the consideration of the additional disorders that can ride tandem with ADD/ADHD. The two that I am most aware of are depression and bipolarism. So regardless of the symantics or how you classify ADD, it often times comes with a friend or two. You might not have a problem telling your employer that you have ADD, but do you want to tell him/her that you also suffer from depression? are comfortable telling your boss that you're bipolar? How about low self-esteem? I can hear it now: "Boss, I know I'll be fine, but if you could just give me a pat on the back every day. That would really help me to feel better about myself." Yeah, that would go over like a ton of bricks!!! Either way the employer and public-at-large, and even families don't really know what it means to be ADD/ADHD. I was/am a teacher and thought that ADD/ADHD was just about focus and hyperactivity. Of course once I was diagnosed with it I learned about ALL the other "stuff." It was amazing. People don't know that not completing tasks, procrastination, time management issues, for example, are all symptomatic ADD behaviors. They don't know or understand the hypersentivities to noises that some of us have. Heck, after taking medication, I even discovered that "some" of my ditziness was due to my ADD. (But NOT all of it! I'm still me!!) A lot of what they see looks like an unmotivated, lazy employee who doesn't care about his/her job.

Of course these are just my thoughts/observations over the last 3 years that I've been diagnosed and taking medication for ADD and depression. It's a great idea to educate others about ADD/ADHD. However, I'm an elementary school teacher, and I've chosen to keep this a private matter. I don't think it's a good idea for my students or parents to know about this and for many reasons.

Hey Jimmo,

Sorry to get off on a little hi-jack...

First off, Sorry! I really didn't mean to personally offend anyone! I have read a couple of Dr. Amen's books, they have helped me, and I personally feel that he is helping psychiatry to move in the right direction. As he says, "Psychiatry remains the only medical specialty that rarely looks at the organ it treats." According to him (and I agree), you can actually see the physical and biological "effects" of ADHD/ADD in the brain.

I don't think I explained myself very well in my post. I mean, I agree with you that ADD/ADHD is probably biologically or brain configuration based and I hope they can soon come up with a test that can accurately diagnose it and even better, diagnose where on the spectrum my specific type of ADD lands. This would hopefully lead to better medications and methods to treat it, better than the whole 'trial and error' method we seem to use now.

I think what we may be mis-communicating about is more personally defined symantics and verbage than anything else. I think I should have used the word 'disorder' instead of 'illness'. I tend to use both terms interchangebly and I think their definitions and usages are going through a big change right now. (see below article link) Part of my original point is that I don't think people react well to either terminology whether it is 'mental illness' or 'mental disorder'. My experience has shown that people think the term 'mental illness/disorder' is very negative, is made up, or is an excuse, or not a real problem. I also think defining it as a real illness/disorder means that it can be treated, just like poor eye sight gets glasses and diabetics get insulin. There is a good article about the 'illness' distinction here: http://www.addresources.org/article_adhd_mental_illness_hamm er.php

I can see how changing the way we classify ADHD might help people understand it better or help remove stigma, but the current accepted criteria for diagnosis of ADHD and ADD is defined using the DSM IV (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders). Now, from things I have read, the overall process and accuracy of the DSM IV could probably be debated. But for the time being, it is what Doctors and Psychiatrists use. It's officially classified as a mental disorder so in the future I guess I should use that terminology.

sorry for the long post.

Jason

I have never considered the diagnosis as defining the person. In medicine, naming the condition is so that there is consistancy (or consensus or standard of practice) in the diagnosis and treatment in the medical community. The problem is that many in society then use these labels to make judgements about others (usually without knowing what the condition really is). So something useful for appropriate medical treatment is twisted into some sort of negativity to use against "others".

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It's the same for a great many "diagnosis". If someone gets skin cancer there will always be some negative individual who will remark "That's what a blonde gets for tanning"--as if 50 years ago on the beach that was our blonde person's first thought!

As you say--"diagnosis" is merely a label designed to make someone's job [doc, psych, social worker] a little easier by having some kind of consensus as to the next step and the most likely treatment[s] that can cause a positive outcome.

Just as your leg is just one part of what you are--so your ADHD only defines [hopefully!] what your attention span will, or will not do under many circumstances.

I completely agree with Vicki. It is the point I was poorly attempting to make in my first post. I only wish I could explain myself as well as she does in such well worded, short posts.

I think this is a great discussion. One of the whole ideas in the original post is about how people act/react towards those of us with ADD/HD. My experience has shown that generally, however we classify it, people don't understand what ADD really is and tend to think it is fake or an excuse. I think that we, as an ADD/HD community, can help educate the non-ADD/HD person so that they understand how it works. If we don't want to call it a disorder or an illness then there is work to be done. I mean sheesh, the word 'disorder' is in the acronym ADD that we all use.

I, for one, hate to admit I have a problem. But my truth is, I spent 3 months staring at my computer screen, playing video games, and surfing the web, etc. because I couldn't stay focused on a large and very difficult paper I had to write for a client. And they were paying me a very large amount to write the paper and I am the sole income for my family and I told my wife I was getting the work done...so I had plenty of motivation to work. I slowly became more depressed and anxious and immobile. I had a problem that I needed help with. ADD was part of the diagnosis and the medicine for that diagnosis has helped me a great deal. I feel now like I can finally achieve the levels in my career that I couldn't before due to constraints like my lack of long term focusing.

Jason

[QUOTE=jwilliams]

I completely agree with Vicki. It is the point I was poorly attempting to make in my first post. I only wish I could explain myself as well as she does in such well worded, short posts.

Jason

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Oh man, I have been so THERE!

I'm sitting on a novel and I just CAN'T write the sucker [been writing a long time] since I got stuck on one character and the plot line--so I'm flitting around with everything else *sigh* instead of tackling the problem.

[QUOTE=jimmo]

[QUOTE=jwilliams]I understand what you mean and have the same issues. Mental illness, in general, is not understood by the majority of people. [/QUOTE]

Maybe I am misintrepreting what you are saying, but I take personal offense and the implication that AD(H)D is a "mental illness". In fact, if you look at the SPECT scans that Dr. Daniel Amen has popularized, you can actually see the physical "causes" of AD(H)D. I see it no more a "mental illness" than having poor eyes means you are "handicapped". It is not a "disease" which needs to be "cured" but simply that your brain function differently.

To the original post from IntenseADHD, I am in almost the situation. When my manager got a divorce we were expected to be be more "tolerant" of the fact he was away from work offen, was too busy with "other things" and so forth. He expects that the issues I have with ADD are something I can simply turn off like a switch. He even went so far as to say I should be "ashamed" of this behaviour. To make things worse, he stutters.

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Wow, sounds like boss dearest has a serious projection problem...

With lines like "you should be ashamed" --is called mind f**king. The quickest response to a MF statment is, "Is there some reason you feel the need to tell me this?" and thus, put the statement back where it belongs...

what to do? What to do?
[QUOTE=jwilliams]

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Good strategies! I also swear by "work plans"--supervisors love 'em too because they get to do the happy supervisor thing and re-route you back to what THEY need, easily. And they feel useful that way

[QUOTE=jimmo]

[QUOTE=jwilliams]I understand what you mean and have the same issues. Mental illness, in general, is not understood by the majority of people. [/QUOTE]

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I've never seen having ADHD as a "mental illness" either. I see it as a learning disorder like dyslexia only it's attentional inconsistency. I rather like us

Now we are all different personalities just like my two friends with bi-polar have the same illness but one is laid back, hates to start new projects, calm and occasionally goes nutter when he doesn't sleep for days and the other is highly creative, goes 120mph in the 60 zone and can outhink Einstein, starts a million projects but never finishes anything.

Just as there are different resiliency levels, different genetics, different socialization skills and different personalities. We didn't come out of a Cheerios box together.

Sometimes, in the right environment we are a BETTER worker than a "normie" because we can function differently. In the wrong environment it can be disastrous.

[QUOTE=jwilliams]I think I should have used the word 'disorder' instead of 'illness'. [/QUOTE]

I still think 'disorder' is negative and not appropriate. With a 'disorder' something is 'not in order' or 'not OK'. It's like saying fair skin is a 'disorder' because you can get sunburned more easily. Despite what DSM IV says, I do not see it as a 'disorder'. Besides is the government always right?

In modern society you are expected to be able to sit down and concentrate on a task and thus people with ADHD have difficulties. In a hunter-gatherer culture where you constantly need to be mentally bouncing around the environment looking for potential food sources and dangers, ADHD is a benefit. I can brain storm a lot better than my co-workers. I can have 10 projects going at once and so long as I have something that keeps reminds me regularly (i.e. MS Outlook), and can work on all of them "at once". These are benefits for me, so in this regard there is nothing "not in order". Since words are all we have to communicate, I accept and agree that it is "more personally defined symantics and verbage than anything else".

Granted I do have trouble stopping when I get into "heated" discussions and come across as aggressive, but I know a lot of people like that, but for the most part they're just jerks.

Keep in mind I am not seeing your comments as a personal attack by any means. I just don't see ADD is a disease or disorder. Perhaps people who have the H as well, have "something" else. However, the benefits I see from ADD are just as pronounced as any disadvantage. Some people are good at math, others foreign languages. I don't have a math 'disorder' because I'm not good at it.

As for the "long" post, I personally prefer them to 67 one-liners "I agree with that". Besides what you said made sense even though I do not agree with it all.

On the other hand, if is continues to be classified as a 'disorder' then at least my insurance will pay for the doctor's visits.

[QUOTE=jimmo]

[QUOTE=jwilliams]I think I should have used the word 'disorder' instead of 'illness'. [/QUOTE]

Granted I do have trouble stopping when I get into "heated" discussions and come across as aggressive, but I know a lot of people like that, but for the most part they're just jerks.

As for the "long" post, I personally prefer them to 67 one-liners "I agree with that". Besides what you said made sense even though I do not agree with it all.

On the other hand, if is continues to be classified as a 'disorder' then at least my insurance will pay for the doctor's visits.

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I think money is the exact reason it's considered a "disorder".

You may like this statement and I use it a lot around here.

"Adhd is a diagnosis. And all a diagnosis really is--is someone's opinion. You do not have to agree with that opinion or with the treatment options presented."

Like you, I believe we are in the wrong society for what it is we do well. We can pay attention to 20 things at a time but forget to do the mundane tasks that take up most people's days.

Now, I choose, at present to medicate because this world is not designed for my way of thinking--not because there's something "wrong" with me. I just need to function in my "not best" environment right now. Should that change, I will go back to being unmedicated again and whip out my daytimer.

And no--I wasn't assuming any ill intentions *chuckle*-- I was assuming we were discussing, whether we always agree or not

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I understand this a great deal.

I worked in social services and I can say that for all the belief it would be easier and less conformist for an ADHD'er it's often quite the opposite! You have to speak the pc lingo and do things the "agency way". The only thing they're missing is matching pinstripe suits

You have certain job requirements to fulfill. The easiest way to do that is to make workplans, lists and such.

Another trick I used a LOT was to tell people that they HAD to send me EMAIL with any requests. That way I could pencil it all in and not get overwhelmed.

Another trick is "It's easier to apologize later than ask permission first". If you want coloured post it notes and fancy file folders--just order them. You can always look innocent and aghast if they complain and say "I didn't know it was against company policy to organize myself!"

When you have a task to do on deadline--break it down INCLUDING "fuzzy breaks" so if you're working on a timeline where you can be spazzy if you need to and still be done on time.

Hope that helps...

What do you do when your co-workers don't understand ADHD and have to criticize the fact that you need schedules and certain things done in some strange, creative way so that you can do your job effectively and they don't want you to do it because it doesn't follow "thier" strict protocol? My current employer - not my immediate supervisor (my immediate supv. is wonderful) but, the one who is a mid-level program director, and my "team leader" who is highly critical and impossible to please no matter what, have this way of negating anything I ask for as far as trying to learn about and work with my ADHD. Every time I tell them I'm having a problem with a task because my brain is not focusing orI just don't understand it they accuse me of using my ADHD as an excuse to not do what I'm "told" to do. Now this is my team leader saying this to me after the fact that "she" did this "making excuses" thing when she was diagnosed with an illness the week before I started working there and used it as an excuse to be downright nasty to everyone blaming it on her medication. She expected us to be forgiving of her yet she doesn't want to be fair to others. That first week, I really didnt feel comfortable working there because of this but, I had to hold on to the job b/c it was the best I could do as far as the survival thing. Still, because my job is in a place that associates with mental health professionals, I believed this time the people would be more understanding and accomodating with all of the disorders I actually have - it's more than ADHD. Sadly, I'm finding that this is not true. I'm starting to feel there are no employers out there that really want ADHD-ers to learn and thrive in life. It's hard to hear all of that negative, critical programming over and over from childhood and then to have to listen to that stuff at work, it just makes life a very depressing situation. I'm up to a level 4 on my depression scale which is pretty much major depression because of this ADHD thing. If I confront them about their accusations, they only say things to make themselves appear correct and completely ignore my feelings and needs.

Is anyone else experiencing or have experienced something like this? If so, could you give me some pointers as to how to deal with it? At this point, I'm stuck. I'm tyring to do a lot of the stuff that my ADD/ADHD books suggest but I'm being met with resistance and I just don't know what to do.

Maybe I should start looking for another job in a more positive environment so I can start rebuilding my self-esteem. This one obviously isn't contributing to that or allowing me to grow and cope with my ADHD.

[QUOTE=jwilliams]I understand what you mean and have the same issues. Mental illness, in general, is not understood by the majority of people. [/QUOTE]