war among brothers | ADHD Information

yes  i agree the old school technique of  time out goes a long way.

puting either child in a void area or room till they calm down . the intoduce them back to thier environment a watch what happens   . i believe its always  one child that starts things . giving time outs for  these starting triggers can help too.

ok take it from me you have to stop this my brother and i fight alot (he is two years older then me) And well We do damage to each other and to the HOUSE ive put holes in walls from were i was going to hit him and he ducks, just the other day i turned around cause he pushed me and i beet him till he was brused and face swolen sure i feel bad about it and well when we are adults we prolly wont speek to each other, you have to find somethiong they like something they have in common and move on it like .... Paintball your kids will have a blest and you wont beleave how much of a relefe it is to shot your brother  with paintit dosnt hurt if you invest in the right gear and they will talk about there childhood togetyher and grow up to be best freinds Dont let them make the mistakes i did Kid with adhd39286.4358912037

I'm new to these boards, but I'll have to keep watching this thread!  My older boy (6), has SPD, he's easily frustrated, very sensory sensitive, argumentative...My younger boy (4)--I would swear he has ADHD, except as I understand it, most Dr.'s won't dx until age 6?  Well, he has all the hallmark behaviors--hyperactive, impulsive, innattentive...He and his brother fight before breakfast, throughout the day, until after dinner!  The younger recently had a new phase of pinching and biting his brother (who is just getting off a bad sunburn!)  4 yr old bites/pinches SPD 6 yr old--talk about making mom crazy!  I just have NO patience anymore!  I've been a SAHM for 6 years, and this fall, I'm going back to school for a Masters in Occupational Therapy--I CAN'T WAIT to get a break from my kids!  Oh, and I do have a very bright 8 yr old daughter--currently re-reading all the Harry Potter books, she is years ahead of the typical 2nd and 3rd graders!  And she has to deal with me losing my patience and my cool with her brothers!  I wish I could just calm down and deal better with my kids.  I also wish I knew whether my 4 yr old actually had ADHD, so I could do something about it!  (I just turned 40--I'm supposed to be at an age where parents are a bit more relaxed and laid back, compared to younger parents!)

Michelle

Michelle there is no reason you cannot treat your 4 year old the same behavior techniques you would use if he does have ADHD. The marble system and Magic 1-2-3 all work GREAT on typical children too. Anything that works with "behaviorally challenged" children will work whether he has ADHD or not.

Just as an F.Y.I. I thought my now 5 year old was one of the worst behaved 3, 4 year olds ever (and I have an older child with ADHD), but..............with matruity she is coming out of a lot of it. Matruity and work, work work, on our part, but its' been worth it. She is becoming much better behaved and we are alittle less worried about her.

Maybe you can get some alone time with your daughter...........sounds like some good Mom alone time is in need too. You have to take care of yourself. These kids take quite the toll on us.

 

My younger son has DHD and takes every oportunity to provoque, hit and bother his older brother ( 1 year older) who doesn't control his temper either.

I live  in a mad house.

Screams for  help of the elder and screams  complaining about his brother from the younger.

I have taken the play station away as punishment, endless chats about brotherly love, threats of love going through the window if they dont stop, and I am out of ideas.

 

Please Help!!!!!!!!

Is the child with ADHD being treated? You have to set the ground rules.......and enforce them. It they cannot get along, they get separated. A lot of people use the MAGIC 1,2,3 system and it works well. Also people have a lot of success with ograms marble system located on this forum, this will encourage good behavior and consequence unwanted behavior. I've not used either formally, but basically do what both systems accomplish. If my children cannot treat everyone else in the family nicely, they need to be alone. We use their bedrooms. No questions asked. They get one warning. So if one is provoking the other, they get one warning, do it again, no questions to the room until they are ready to come out and discuss it with me, apologize if warranted and then be nice. This took quite a bit of work on my part (literally standing outside daughters door making her stay in there) at the beginning, but works now. We hae taught calmin techniques like deep breaths and counting. Sometimes my 5 yhear old still neeeds help getting there. EVERY time they do something nice for each other, or we have an uneventful day they are praised.

 

diane v  

 you are awesome

working at it  is always the right advice.

 

children are like brass  if you dont take care of them they will tarnish.  If you always polish them and take great care to put them where they can be appreciated then one day after much effort you see them grown and shine as bright as can imagine , and if you get a little closer you will see a little reflection of yourself in them.

many poeple use the marble system with tremendous success. I am also implementing a form of this for homework/school work starting in September. I was going to use poker chips, but like the quarter idea better. Teens LOVE money . I just read a reply on another topic about behavioral ideas. You take a glass jar. They say use marbles but I am going to use quarters. You put about .00 worth of quarters in the jar. Every time your child fights, disrespects, argues, ect. you take so many quarters out of the jar for that reason. If he/she does good things you put quarters in, so that he/she could end up with more then .00 for the week. At the end of the week they get to keep what is left.The money is a motivating factor for my son. Of course you have to sit down and explain what each thing is worth. I will let you know how it works. I am even going to use it for my son age 11 who doesn't have ADHD.