I believe this is a unique situation and I am hoping that someoneelse has experienced this. Anyhow I have a female friend and a male friend. I hang out with them both separately and together. My male friend is quite patient with everyone and even volunteers with adults with special needs. He really understands people with physical and mental disabilities. He is older so he doesn't know a lot about ADHD. I don't medicate ds in the summer. My friend has been around ds and says he gets excited at times but all children do. My female friend has a granddaughter with ADHD who is medicated all the time. She told my male friend that she will not be around ds unless I medicate him. She said she can't take it. He told me this yesterday when she wasn't around. My response was that I will not medicate ds on weekends and school holidays. I was quite upset over this. Ds's doctor supports my decision. I told him that he will either have to hang out with ds and I or our mutual female friend. He enjoys going to parks etc. in the summer and she doesn't. We live in a mid sized city and ds and I may run into my female friend while we are out. So I explained to ds that my friend has difficulty being around both her granddaughter and him unless they are on medication. I said thet she doesn't have much patience which is true.
It's too bad that your friend feels this way, but IMO, you have to respect how she feels. ADHD behaviors can be very difficult to be around, and for some people it is too stressful. Until we started guanfacine, our evenings were horrible after the stimulant wore off. I respected and understood that my father preferred to stay elsewhere when he visited because he could leave when things started getting bad.
What exactly does your child do that is too difficult for your friend? If it's too much activity, how about meeting at a pool? Too bad she doesn't like parks, though if you don't have a child with you, I can see not wanting to hang out near a playground.
She doesn't sound like she likes very much! She sounds pretty miserable herself.
I feel sorry for her granddaughter.
Enjoy your son and keep doing what you are doing. It is your life and your child. It sounds like you and the doctor have a plan and are sticking with it.
My son is too active for her and too loud. She doesn't enjoy being around water either. Our male friend who is physically disabled and older doesn't have any children and enjoys the park and nature very much. He likes to look at the trees and ponds and feel the breeze. Ds and I have been to the park with him. The lady has also said some hurtful things to the man about him and he confides in me. She neglects to tell him when he is able to do something for himself and it really hurts his feelings and is very impatient with him. I don't think she has much patience. Maybe ADHD like her granddaughter...
Bethann thanks for the support! I feel sorry for her granddaughter too. Between grandma and her mom being starry eyed over her fiance, the granddaughter doesn't receive too much attention. I plan on enjoying my son over the summer. We are going to go to the parks and the zoo and a have a few swims!
Maybe invite her granddaughter to enjoy the parks and zoo's with your son and you!
since she is so starry eyed at some younger guy that is involved with her daughter, she certainly has no time for any children!! Poor little girl. I bet she is medicated so that they don't have to "deal" with her!
Bethann actually it is not the grandma who is starry eyed it with the daughter's much older fiance it is the daughter who is involved with him. The granddaughter is going to her dad's for 3 weeks today so we won't see her. You are correct about the reason she is medicated. During the half hour we recently spent together, the granddaughter pretty much stayed by the gate close to the water talking to herself. The disabled man and I went over to talk to her for a while. Ds was at camp. Her grandma went over to talk to her briefly after the disabled man told her she was calling her. The mother and fiance didn't go over at all. Our disabled friend said that she wanted the fiance to take her for a walk. His response was that he had to finish his coffee. He didn't take her. I didn' t even hear the conversation.