Does ADHD run in families? Yes it does, it is hereditary.
Also has anyone else had problems with your ADHD child's behavior taking a strong toll on your relationship with other family members? How do you deal with it? Yes, I have run itno this, I avoid people who don't understand DD's issues.
I never thought of myself as having ADHD until my wife and I took our son to get him evaluated by a pediatric neurologist for ADHD and the doctor said it was hereditary. He asked which one of us (my wife or I) ha dit and my wife pointed toward me and said "He does." :-) From that point on I started to recognize my own symptoms. I've always gotten away with it because I was such a funny kid and always made people laugh. Today I have a job where my ADHD is a benefit for me.
Hi and welcome!
All of us probably are living with or have lived with what you are going through.
It can certainly take it's toll on other relationships. You have to try to find time to have separate times for those relationships, other children, husband, extended families. I find a need to spend alone time with both my daughter who has ADHD but also with my 5 year old who does not as things can quite often be very strained. This holds true in any family dynamic.
Above all of this, you need some time for yourself. Maybe while the kids are in school, take a yoga class or meet friends for lunch, shop anything that is leisurely to YOU. I also work full time and it is difficult to find yourself time, but necessary. I have taken vacation days just to have a day to myself while the kids are at school.
Evening babysitting cna be quite a challenge. Depenidng on his age and bedtime, maybe you could go our after bedtime?
Does ADHD run in families? Also has anyone else had problems with your ADHD child's behavior taking a strong toll on your relationship with other family members? How do you deal with it? I know what problems my son has, and I can also see how it would get on someone else's LAST NERVE, because I have my moments when it gets on mine!!! He's on medication, but it isn't a cure-all for all his problems...
Plus babysitting is an issue. I take care of them by myself so I have to work, and he drives everyone nuts!!!
He is going to a new psychiatrist next week though. Just wanted to see if anyone has any personal advice. I sometimes feel like I'm on my LAST straw!!!
Raising an ADHD kid can be a challenge. One very helpful concept is forgiveness times 3.
1. Forgive yourself. You have bad days and are not always at your best. Live with it.
2. Forgive your child. He is going to have bad days. He is not trying to ruin your life. If at times you have a hard time with this, sit beside his bed and watch him sleep. If you need a little extra help take a glass of wine with you. Carry nothing over to the next day except consequences. "Yesterday was not a good day, let's try to make today a better one." Apply this to both of you.
3. This is the most important one. Forgive those who judge. They do not know what you are going through. You know what you need to do. This is your kid, stay the course.
Sometimes it is a hard to see this far ahead but it is very much worth the effort. They can grow up to be some neat adults.
Good luck and keep plugging.
Diz
Diz
That is so true especially number 3. No one knows until they go through it. And as for the growing up process I have 3 adhd children and my two oldest are 17 they are turning into awesome adults. My youngest is 9 we are still under constrution with him but thing get better all the time. Good days and bad days are a given.
Thanks Diz, that's the best advice I've heard!
I have such a hard time. I have always thought of myself as a kind, patient, and EXTREMELY understanding person, but I lose my patience with him SO easily! I find myself yelling at him because I've told himself something 20 times & sometimes he does exactly the opposite EXACTLY after I say it!!!
I don't have any support, and I know that he does use his adhd as a "crutch" if you will, sometimes. He does try & manipulate because of other situations going on such as his father not seeing him too often. It's hard for me to decipher which times are which. And my current boyfriend has been through it with me & he's at his last straw with him too. I am ALMOSt to my last straw, so even though he doesn't SAY it, I know he is too.
When he goes to his dr, I think that I'm made to feel like it's my FAULT somehow! And I already feel like his behaviour IS my fault sometimes so I don't need added stress. Everything I tell the psychiatrist he does she claims is "normal" well, if it's so NORMAL, why don't all my kids do it!!??? AND if it's NORMAL, then I need to be medicated to deal with it!!!!!!
I was asking about heredity because I see some of the same symptoms in my 4 year old too. I never saw it in my 6 year old even when she was younger though. My 4 year old acts like she doesn't comprehend the language I'm speaking sometimes...
I meran it's gotten to the point from his "impulsivity" that I had child protective services at my house. Nothing came of it, of course, but it's just the point that hwen he does things and says things and alledges things that aren't true, he doesn't even REALIZE the impact it has, or doesn't care, I'm not sure which, but I personally don't think it's normal! I have a hundred examples, but whatever he has in his head to do, he just does it. When someone flips out & starts yelling at him or spanks him (VERY RARELY-don't attack me) he will apoligize, but I honestly think he doesn't BELIEVE that he did anything wrong, he just doesn't like the consequences. I think if he had it to do over it again he's do exactly what he wanted to do again...All of this is "normal", but normal for ADHD kids, not typical kids. So you wouldnt see any of this from you other children.
My daughter will also quite often also say, I just couldnt help myself, or its because of medication. So then we have to say "OK lets figure how to help you be able to help yourslef, and/or no it has nothing to with your medication". Try not to get too caught up in all that and ignore as much of it as you can. You know what he can't help. Even not being able to "help it" doesnt mean it shouldnt be addressed. Family counseling may be very benefical to you all.
You cant burn yourself out.............he needs you and so do your other children.