feel like i’m cheating | ADHD Information
[QUOTE=jwilliams]You know, you guys (gals) rock!
[/QUOTE]You rock also!! Good job on feeling better and working through your
ADHD. My last ADHD coach really tried to drill into my head not to get
negative.
-------------------------
Example: "i SHOULD have taken out the trash."
He suggested instead of using a negative "should", replacing it with
"could". Which changes the tone of the sentence completely.
Example: "i COULD have taken out the trash."
I COULD take out the trash... but if I don't right now, who cares? Maybe
it'll smell a little, but when it doesn't feel like a chore, but a guiltless
choice, I'm more likely to pick up the bag and skip to the dumpster with a
smile on my face.
Don't feel guilty for being you. Don't think that one way to live is the only
way. That doesn't mean that you can't try to work on habits that you don't
like. If they give you trouble coexisting in a non-adhd world of deadlines
and rigid expectations, by all means try to train yourself to adapt. But it's
not because you have a personality defect, lazy, or stupid. You don't have
to fit a certain mould.
Let go of that guilt and negativity that you've accepted as "truth" just
because other people labeled you that. Grow a thick skin and make a
"whatever" face whenever anyone is negative towards you. Let the
negativity roll off your back. Learn how to adapt, but only because you
have ADHD and you have that ability. You're so awesome that you have
the ability to find alternate ways to cope with stress and work through
obstacles.
This is turning out to be a sappy motivational post. I just feel fiercely
protective of my fellow ADHD'ers. I've had to deal with the negative
name calling, and being branded as inferior, which after years made me
believe it. That is so painful... it really stabs at my heart. I hate labels and
being judged. What is "normal" behavior? I won't apologize for having a
messy apartment. I live alone, I'm not hurting anyone else.
Peace, love, and compassion.
[QUOTE=jwilliams]
You know, you guys (gals) rock!
[/QUOTE]Awe, I'm three weeks late, but thank you! Started summer school and haven't kept up with the forum. Take care! You rock too.
You're just lucky your meds work... my inattentive-type ADHD doesn't seem to be reacting to much at all. Take help where you can get it--you'd be awfully silly not to take the meds, when you're so lucky in having them work for you.
jwilliams, I've been diagnosed and taking Adderall XR for 3 years and WOW--what a difference! (I'm in my early 40s) I never really felt like I was cheating by taking the meds, but I do continually find an array of things to worry / obsess about. Kind of like you feeling like you're cheating by taking the meds. (always have to find something wrong with success, don't you?) My therapist says that the worrying is just a way that some ADDers use to organize their minds. If my mind is occupied with worrying obsessively about something, then I don't have to listen to all the other "trash" that's running around in there. Sounds kind of weird, but it also makes sense. One of the best things I did was to learn more about ADD. There is so much more to ADD than the focusing thing. Once you learn more about ADD, you'll say "so that's why I'm that way!" ADD can cause depression, self-esteem issues, relationship problems, etc., etc., Learning more about ADD was such a relief to me, because it explained so many things about myself that I did not like-- but at least now I have a reason. A great book is "Driven to Distraction" by Edward M. Hallowell and John J. Ratey. (It's an easy read.) You'll read some of the case studies and say, "That is so me!" over and over again!!! Take the meds--Like I tell my students with ADD/ADHD: the medication makes it possible for you to be the real you!
One other thing. Go the the forum: Women with ADD (I know you're a man, but there's a couple of posts there that you might find interesting.) Read these posted topics: ADD-THINGS THAT AGGRAVATE YOU MOST and also POSITIVE THINGS ABOUT ADD. Take Care!
3RingCircus39300.9126851852sounds like an esteem issue to me
a little worry ok but alot then see you therapist and statethat you want that to be dealt with.
I read in a an ADD book once that referred to the fact that if your eyesight is bad, you would wear glasses. Is that considered cheating? Perhaps it's the drug stigma that exists in society that's bothering you.I can relate somewhat to how you feel. My issue is that I tend to feel like I am a failure when I need medication. I seem to believe that somehow I should be able to pull myself up by the bootstraps and get my act together. Many years ago I was treated for panic disorder and I did manage to recover and get off medication. 3 months ago when my husband recommended I make an appointment with a psychiatrist, I resisted. When I realized that I have ADHD and it is what has been causing my struggles all along, I had mixed emotions. Partially relief to have an answer, and partially depressed that I was going to need medication again.
Someday I would love to be able to stop taking any medication, but that may or may not happen. I know that I need the meds now to give me enough control of my life so I can work on structure and follow-through. Once I have good habits, we'll see.
Your wife is right, though. You should be glad that you found something that helps. Maybe as you get things back in order you may consider discontinuing medication to see if your newfound skills are enough to keep you on track. Who knows? Just remember, it isn't cheating. You have been playing with a handicap your whole life and now your meds will help even out the playing field.
Good luck!
been there done that..... I'm cool with the whole med & seeing a shrink thing now....would you drive a car with a flat tire or put some air in it???? (bad example I'm sure all adder's have driven on our rims with a peek hole scratched out of the snow on the windshield) lol
[QUOTE] However, I still get this enormous self-talk in my head about not taking the medicine because I should be able to ‘hack it’ without drugs. That I am cheating somehow. Does anyone else feel this?[/QUOTE]
Yep. And your wife is right. Stop thinking and keep moving. 
I've been on Adderall 30 mg. XR for a year now and I love being able to function.
You know, you guys (gals) rock!
I started taking adderall 2 weeks ago. Since then I have been finally getting work done, focusing and feeling more confident about being able to do the work. Thankfully, I don’t seem to have the ‘drop-offs’ or other side-effects I read on this board (just trouble sleeping if I take it to late or combine with coffee). So logically I know that the adderall must be helping. However, I still get this enormous self-talk in my head about not taking the medicine because I should be able to ‘hack it’ without drugs. That I am cheating somehow. Does that make sense? I have the same struggle with my anxiety medicine even though it is very obvious that it is extremely effective. It has been so long since I have been effective at work or home that my wife is telling me if the medicine is working to stop thinking so much and just work.
Does anyone else feel this?
I take thyroid meds for hypothyroidism. Without them I would be lethargic and my mind scattered. I do not feel like I am cheating. It is simply correcting a medical condition that can have a detrimentaly effect on my life and that of my family.
You are not cheating. You are only making the playing field level so you can compete.