An elaboration on making him responsible for his behaviors. What ever he decides, he also decides the consequences. Say in a calm voice "If you decide not to do your chores you decide not to earn the privilege to play your computer games-Your choice" . If he argues, simply respond "Your choice, which ever you chose is OK with me." Helps defuse the power struggle.
Keep plugging, I raised an ADHD child and it was very much worth the struggles.
Diz
I agree with everyone. My daughter is not yet 16, but at almost 13, we struggle wiht some of these things also. She wants her independance. Pushing the earning freedom onto her does help. One day you CAN just say , you know what from now on this is how it works. He wont be happy at first, but he WILL come around. Like Dizfrizx says if he chooses NOT to do what needs to be done to get the game time privelege, you have to say ok fine and walk away. Some of this is all about the power struggle.
Try looking at ogrmas marble system. This is geared toward preschool, school age children, but modified the concept can /will work for older children too. Start small and build.
Good luck it is quite the challenge!
[QUOTE=Dizfriz]Punishment is not the key. The key is the speed of the consequence and making him responsible for his behavior decisions...Keep in mind, when you get upset, you lose, when you don't you win.
[/QUOTE]It is going be trickey to bring a 16 year old back under control. While the meds may help, you are going to have to set some rules but may I suggest putting them on a positive basis rather than negative. On the games, set it up where has to earn game time. Be a cheer leader for him getting time but hold him to the rules. No credit. Do your verbal focus on what he is doing right. Verbalize his good decisions lots. Look up token systems and see if some form of this might work for you. You are going to have to come up with a workable system. Look at a lot of them and cobble one for your family. Be ready to modify as you figure out what works and then be ready to change as needed. Keep in mind that it is not your job to make him mind..you can't do it. It is your job to set the rules and enforce the consequeces. This you can do. Punishment is not the key. The key is the speed of the consequence and making him responsible for his behavior decisions. This is a whole program and I do not have time to go much into it but this may give you a few ideas. Keep in mind, when you get upset, you lose, when you don't you win. This sounds simplistic but is accurate.
Good luck
Diz
Lots of good advice! Be organized and have a united front if there are 2 parents in the household. Have a family meeting at round table with no TV on, have your expectations and consequences for infractions down in black and white. Allow for some negotiations. Failure to make his bed or do the dishes may lose him 15 minutes of game time instead of 30., etc. He will take you much more seriously and be more likely to cooperate if he is part of a formal process. All of the kids in the household should be involved and held to the same standard. Best wishes!Hi Suzy! My son is 14. I recently became aware of a "parenting plan" called Love and Logic. It is very easy to understand and to implement. I just read their book called Using Love and Logic to Help Children Develop Attention and Behaviour Skills. It has truly changed our household around. I found the book on Amazon. For a busy parent, it is a quick read, and has a few basic skills that you can practice and rehearse. The part I like the most about this plan, is that it releases you as the parent from the worry and the frustration. (Any yelling in your house?) and puts all of the problem-solving on to your child. As I said, it has worked wonders, and it is all a very loving and nurturing plan as well. Not mean or angry. You might give it a looksee and see if it is something you think may help.