welcome dmoser.
Who has diagnosed your son? Who will be treating him? Do you have atreatment plan? There is a lot you can do. Behavior therapy for one. See ograms marble system on this board. People have had GREAT success. The key to postivie behavior is positive parenting. ESPECIALLY with anADHD child.
The decision of medication is very personal and something you should research and think about. Medications will not make him behave, but may help hi to be able to listen to you and give you both more success with a consistent discilpine plan.
Many people use alternative therapies and supplements especially to start. See the alternatives board for some great information. ther are some very well infomred people there who can a great help.
The meds board here cna also be of great use for prescription med information.
I have a son who was diagnosed with ADHD, he is 6 yrs old and seems never to listen. He constantly fights with his sister, and doesn't listen to me. I ask him to do someting and he doesn't do it and he is extremely hyper all day long. I have to tell him numerous amounts of times to either stop doing something or to actually do something. At night he doesn't go to bed without either a fight or continuous laughing. I don't know what do to and I don't know if putting medicine in his system is the answer. Any suggestions?
What great advice from the other posts! Picking battles was hard for me and my husband. We wanted to fix everything NOW and through counseling we realized that we had to pick our battle(a few at a time). Also, it's so true that if you aren't going to enfore something then let it go...it will be there tomorrow.Some ideas:
1. Pick you battles, make them few.
2. Before you put on a directive, think to yourself can and will I enforce this. If you can't (sometimes you have things to do etc) or if you won't..you are just too tired; either ratchet it down until you can and will enforce it of just let it go for now. Trust me, the behaviors will be there tomorrow. But, if you do give a directive you must enforce it. This is critical.
One way of doing this (in my opinion, the preferred way) is to put the responsibility on the child. "If you decide not to turn off the tv then you decide for me to turn it off and you decide not to watch it tomorrow." The child tests you and not turn off the tv so you say "OK you decided to have me turn off the tv and you decided not to watch it tomorrow." "But Mom!!" "That is what you decided why are you fussing at me, it was your choice. Next day "I want to watch tv". "Remember yesterday you chose not to watch today when you chose not to turn it off." "But Mom!! "It was you choice, not mine. You can watch it tomorrow".
Good luck and keep on plugging. They are worth it.
This puts the responsibility for the behaviors on the child where it belongs.
Again Pick you battles make them few. Pick the 2 or 3 most important behaviors and focus on them. The rest will still be around for you to deal with in the fullness of time.
If you get upset, you lose. If you don't, you win. It is that simple.
Also the parent who acts wins, the parent who talks loses. Also simple but true especially for ADHD kids.
We found 1-2-3 Magic to work very well with our son, as long as we are consistent with it. Also check out the Marbles system, which I believe is a pinned thread.
good luck, you can make it through this, and find a way for things to get better for you and for him.
When you give an instruction look him in the eyes. Then wait until the count of ten for him to do it. It he does not do it, repeat the instruction looking in his eyes and then stand there until he does it. If he does not do it give a consequence. Do it this way every time. At the same time set up a reward system for one or two behaviors at a time that you want improved.
Give him melatonin 30 minutes before bed.
Hey i know it seems hard at the moment, but all will get better with persitace, when they do something good reward them.. i know this because my son is also 6 and has been diagnosied since he was 4, i have tried many things as you would have as well but seriously the 1...2...3 thingo does work you just need to introduce it, my son has been on many medications and we are still to find the right one but i think we are slowly getting there... there are alternatives like the color and additive diet.. limiting all things but i did try it and it never worked with my son... try the 1...2...3 thing and persite with it for a few weeks and see how you go if not i think you should go back to the doc and see what he/she can do...
keep your chin up it does get better.. and as some as us might not do... try and look after your self... you will never be able to fight it if your not looking after yourself!!!!
pm me if you want :)
also sorry, i have a friend who has an undiagnosed ADHD child and she chucks pattys... eg.... one day she wouldnt get in there car to go home.. cracking a tantrum and yelling i hate you etc,,, i told her to get in her car and start it to let her child know that she was veing serious and she was going to leave her there cracking the tantrum...... anyway she relised that her mom was serious and hasn't really chucked a patty since.. moral of my story is stand you ground and dont give in no matter how hard it is!!!, if you dont they will end up thinking that they can walk all over you for ever!!!!