6th grade - what i’ve seen so far | ADHD Information
nope. Unless you're living it day in and day out......no clue. Not their fault, no reason for them to get it. I would probably feel the same way. Most people think I micro analyze every little thing with my kids..................and I do...............but if I didnt my daughter would not be where she is today, she's needed this form me and I dont regeret it and will keep doing what I'm doing. It's a life of frustration. Now with the teen years here I expect it will get worse, but again, she's really a good kid and we dont have a lot in the way of behavior problems at this point with her. Things could be drastically more difficult. My heart just breaks for her as life shouldn't be hard when you're a kid. My younger daughter LOVES being a kid and playing, things are just easier for her. She's got her "stuff" too and at 5 we dont know whwere we'll end up, but my older daughter has had it harder than most since day one .do you know of any safe online forums for children that my son may be able to go on and talk to other kids with ADHD maybe by doing this he will stop feeling like he's the only one and will take thier advise on what to do to help themselves. I live in a state where there is no local chapters for kids with ADHD even though where we live is in a city of over 150,000 people I know there are other families that struggle with this I just don't know if they care as much as some.
I only have the one child so he doesnt' get to see what a (normal) child should act like other then school. and I am just like you I would do anything for my child and sometimes I get called over protective but with his impusliveness I just can't help being this way. I feel there is no such thing with a child with ADHD.
my son is 12 going on 13 and he experiences the same things. I often find that my son will lie to the other kids in his class so he fits in and can be apart of their conversations what he doesn't realize is by doing this it really hurts him because the kids know he is lying and point this out. he then becomes very defensive and says things he doesn't mean. As a parent you can see your child do this and try to tell them it’s wrong but if we put ourselves in their shoes so to speak they are at a tough age already and friends mean everything to them so how does a parent help in this situation?
I also have noticed his grades strugle each year and it's a never ending battle for us because we know he can do the work he's proven to us he can but what he needs help with is long term how can he keep getting the good grades. I have adjusted his meds every year I don't want this to be the solution every year any ideas?
It's so difficult. We've made med adjustments most years too. I am really hoping to not do it this year. We're at a sort of ok place at least no side effects. She is seeing a therapist now which I hope will help her with some confidence issues and self esteem. I am really hoping for some good social skills groups. My daughter isnt the in your face kind, but if the conversation gets too involved and she has to think, or try to focus on some one elses "stuff" she just loses interest and zones out or ignores them or tries to change the subject to herself, or WORSE tries to be funny (which shes really not, she just acts immature and silly, starting to not go over well with teens). I guess some of it she's going to have to sort out herself, but it breaks my heart, she is very sweet and non judgmental, she likes everyone, she's not aggressive or bossy, but can't maintain the focus to build solid relationships. Her grades are average, barely, with lots and lots of support, but she's getting this teen lethargy or apathy or whatever you want to call it, but is like yeah whatever. I keep hoping we're going to have a better year, but I dont know....................NOT a fun age.my son also tries to be the funny one. he is a very sweet kid and gets along with about everyone he knows. it's funny you say your daughter often gets bored with converstations and tries to turn the subject to herself because my son does the same thing. We have my son right now in a private school this seems to help with the school work the teachers do try to do what ever they can to keep him focused they all find keeping him in front of the room or right back by their desks works the best but in a class of only about 20 kids he feels singled out and will act out because of this. thanks for replying it helps to know that I'm not the only on out there dealing with this. it's hard to talk to family and friends because they don't have a child with ADHD and don't know what it feels like to have a child with this and how it effects everything no matter what you try. You have just described my child to a tee. He will enter the 6th grade next week and we are dealing with the same issues...boastfulness in sports, a basic lack of understanding as far as friendships go, etc. At this point, I can't seem to find a good solution to some of his problems because it's like he follows the rules well enough, but the hyperactivity is getting to me. He is constantly talking, moving, jumping, making noise, etc. I thought this part of ADHD would be leaving us a bit at this age, but he is still as hyper as ever. How do you deal with this? Also, his test scores really dropped last year from above average in everything to just slightly above average and even average in some subjects, which tells me that he is not listening in class or retaining the info. I'm not sure what to do about this, either.Is it just me or were you hoping as they got older it would be easier???
My son is 12 and has adhd, impulsive type. He was wild from age 2 , but like many, I was on the fence in believing that he really had ADHD. Also like many women, I found that my husband was initially in major denial. Many guys just think it is a discipline issue and this can cause problems as time goes on. I would recommend an open discussion about these types of differences early on, rather than trying to ignore it like we did. Obviously problems in marriage can result from disagreement over the kids and adhd parents are doubly challenged.
In the early years of school, most of the trouble was around hyperactive behavior - not sitting still, leaping dangerously off playground equipment, blurting things out without being called on. We had him repeat the first grade even tho' he was doing well academically because emotionally he was young and this turned out to be a very good decision our principal told us was "almost never a mistake."
Our son is very athletic and quite good looking, as well as sweet - obviously I'm biased but the point is, these traits have served him well. He is very bright, too and read early and generally excelled in school in the first couple of grades. Boys can be spirited and get away with a certain amount of "bad" behavior, so this aspect of adhd has not been too terrible. We have given him Wellbutrin since age 7 - stimulants were horrible for him, kept him up crying all night -- and we notice when he doesn't take it that he is super difficult in terms of self control. It's not perfect - for example, when it runs out at the end of the day he is often depressed. But he wakes up happy enough in the morning so it is working ok for now.
Now, as we move into middle school, the challenges are different, not so much about wild behavior as it is about attention and relationships. He is having more trouble paying attention so he can take notes well, can't remember to write things in his calendar, and is "lost" a lot particularly in math. He has more difficulty with understanding other kids - sometimes I feel he is like a visitor from another planet in the things he just generally doesn't perceive about other humans...I've had to painstakingly explain things his much younger brother innately understands. Yikes, what will happen with girls
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His athletic skills are now troubling because he can be quite boastful and doesn't get how this effects others. He cannot manage his homework without major structure and re-directing from us. We let him try things on his own for the last semester and boy, what a dive! He goes to private school and they are very supportive in making changes and accommodations for him.
Anyway, I'm wondering if anyone out there recognizes some of this and wants to chat. I would like to hear from others with kids in grade 6 and above and any advice they have.
I am just curious about both kids diagnoses? When were they diagnosed? Are they on meds? I have a daughter entering 7th grade.
My son was diagnosed at 6 and on Wellbutrin since 7. We chose that med because of a bad experience with stimulants. (I just read on this forum that others have had the same problem - crying uncontrollably, up all night, manic. Some people have said they waited this out and it got better, but we couldn't bear it.) In any case, the Wellbutrin has helped us a lot with the hyperactivity - it's recommended for the hyperactive type. You might want to give it a try. It's not so much help with the attention issues that are now arising, though. And like I said, there's the let down at the end of the day.
One thing I'm starting to see that is that you can't explain basic everyday relationsip things in too much detail or too many times to my son. For example, if he criticizes another child for missing a ball, you have to explain to him why that's not going to be well received in a way that you just wouldn't think you would have to do with a child of this age. It comes with the territory. They're just not going to get stuff the way your standard issue kid does.
I'm with you! We have had a pretty good summer using a tricyclic antidepressant instead of stimulants, but we keep getting in this loop I think where she hits a good dose then the hormones get going or she gets used to the med and BANG! she slips back. The past couple of weeks we've started working on her summer school work, one book and a math packet........HERE WE GO! Difficult, arguing, playing the game of control, it's exhausting. Socially she doesnt do great either, for the same reasons. She says she has tons of friends, but she's barely seen anyone all summer. She also just doesnt seem to get it. We went to visit friends at the beach yesterday. There was a girl there close to her age and they "hung out" somewhat, ostly due the other girl being friendly. When we were leaving the girl yelled "BYE" A__________,she never turned around a just said "BYE M____________", meaning the other 6 year old that is our friend................... I was like can you say bye to K_________thats whos talking to you! She was paying no attention and couldn't have cared less.
So unfocused and distracted when we got home she fell down the stairs. I thought we were doing well............................
It's tough because with any other kid that kind of behavior would be just unacceptable. Even his Dad gets enraged by that type of thing. But I'm starting (slowly) to TRY to ask myself, "Did he mean to be that way or does he just not get it?" Sometimes when I say, "You know, that wasn't a very good way to respond to a friend because etc etc'" he says "Okay Mom, sorry, I didn't know." Sometimes I try to think of him as "E.T.," the adorable extra-terrestrial who just needs to understand our ways...
Math is very worrisome for us, too. When he works independently with the teacher he does very well and is quite quick with figures. But he's tuning out in class and with math being cummulative, it's going to be hard this year. We agreed to drop him down to the slower group, but of course, now he thinks it's because he's "dumb" when he is far from it. I wonder, are there any tools or techniques anyone knows of to help kids pay better attention in math class, make sure they get it when they leave the classroom etc? Any suggestions would be much appreciated.
I know exactly what you're saying my daughter does the same thing. I'll say ok you shouldnt say that because.....whatever, she says Oh I didnt know. One thing I am trying to teach her is to STOP and think before she speaks. This is so hard for her to do she is so impulsive.
Does he have an IEP or 504? Can you set something up with the math teacher to spend 5 minutes somewhere during the day or right after school to go over things and be sure he understands? If it seems he is not maybe you can find a math tutor to help with these things one or two days a week.
Yes, we have already spoken with the teacher, who he had last year, so he knows him. It's a private school where we pay a lot, so expect a lot, and are generally getting much cooperation and individual attention from the school. It's an academically challenging school, which means it's going to get harder as they go up in grades. Sometimes I'll ask the teacher, have you seen this before? And often it seems like my son is unique, even though I know that's not likely. A tutor is a good idea - I'll start looking!