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My son Brandon has been diagnosed since he was 3 and on meds since he was 5, he is now 7. Is it me or is there anyone else out there that can't seem to find what makes their kid tick. When he is on his meds he is pretty good but can have small anger issues over silly things. When his med is wearing off those silly issues seem to blow up. He can't seem to move past what has happened even if it happend that morning. If he is fighting with his brother and I ask him why it will be becasue of something that made him mad that morning or 2 days ago. I have a really hard time removing my feeling to deal with his. I don't know what calms him down or I don't know what to say to him to get him calmed down. Anyone out there that can help me? Thanks! Shelly Isn't 10pm kind of late for a kid of 7? I make sure my two (9 and 6 ) are in bed  by 8pm latest.  If they go any later their behaviour is shocking for days after because of lack of sleep. It also gives me and hubby a bit of time to us in the evening.  Of course this may have been a once off for you, we do have once off late nights (which I usually regret the following days, LOL). I would say though that if 10pm is a regular for you, that may be a good place to start.Gutsy39304.9877662037

It doesnt sound like his meds are doing the trick. I agree a re-evaluation is probably a good starting point. Try to r/o anything else going on. I am curious about the 10:00 bedtime too only because if he goes to bed at 10:00, what time is he up and taking his meds? If he takes an extended release late in the day instead of in the morning early he may be rebounding late or having insomnia, I cant imagine battling at 10:00pm .

I also agree with edbson, one task at a time. My daughter can still pretty much only handle one task at a time (almost 13), but my 5 year old, no ADHD, can handle more.

He may need to be reevaluated , a diagnosis at 3 is iffy at best.  I would see a psych for another evaluation, and to discuss possibly a different med. thank you for your help. Like tonight, I asked him at least 3 times to pick his toys up and get ready for bed. It got to the point where I said you have 10 minutes to do what I have askedor your tv will come out of your room . He stiffined himself out and clenched his fists. I said you are waisting time. He got upstairs to his room and proceeded to clean his room. I said Brandon you will lose your tv if you don't get your teeth brushed, go to the bathroom and get in bed by 10pm. Well he played around until he had 1 minutes left and of course he didn't make it. So I proceeded to take his TV out and he flipped out. He said, I cleaned my stuff up that's what you wanted. I said that is only part of what I wanted and you were told several times. He is still upstairs pounding on things. Was I wrong?     

ALot of times you have to break it down, one task at a time, as in "get dressed", when dressed then tell him"brush your teeth". ALot of kids with ADHD cannot process a long string of thinhgs at once. They cannot remember to brush teeth, get dressed, get books, get bookbag. You do have to be consitent and if you say no tv, then NO TV.

He would probably benefit from a reevaluation.

I agree 10 pm is kind of late, but it is summer and he sleeps till he wakes up. Everyone tells me he should be in bed by 8 pm. Well, it is still light out and that would be a task I wouldn't want to venture into. As long as he can sleep in he is fine.He is usually up by 8 or 9. I know the meds will keep working till 8 or 9 pm. I give him a melatonin for sleep and it works pretty well. My problem is just not listening when I ask him to do something unill I end up having ot raise my voice and with him if you raise your voice no matter how high he thinks you are yelling at him. I agree with Diane V and Edbson, I have to remember that when telling him whjat he needs to do in the morning it is 1 task at a time. I wake my son up an hour before he normally is up, I give him his pill and he falls back a sleep for about an hour or so.But what time does he get up to take meds? My son must have his adderrall xr by 7:30 a.m. or we will have sleep problems later on. I do let him stay up until 9 p.m. on some nights becuase there is a show he likes and it's a reward for a good day but he's up by 7 a.m.

I am just curious as to what time he gets up for his med?that was my question too, the later he gets up the later he takes his meds, so that'll affect your later day.Have you tried a reward/consequence behavior modification plan with him?  Come up with a plan where he is rewarded for following directions and receives consequences for not following directions.  Let him help determine rewards and consequences--that way he will have ownership.  Make it kid friendly and make a visual chart so he can see his progress.  But, you have to be VERY consistent which is difficult to begin with.  Rewards don't have to be monetary.  They can be things like "movie" night, special dinner out with dad or mom, etc.,  Consequences should be related to the infraction -- if he doesn't pick up his toys, then perhaps he doesn't get to play with those particular toys for a day.    At bedtime, try starting his bedtime routine a little bit earlier and have him do one task like pick up his toys, and then if he finishes in enough time let him watch 15 more minutes of television, and then brush his teeth.  Then, bedtime and read him a book or something to unwind.I have tried all kinds of behavioral charts. He looses interest after a week. I am going to try the glass jar with the quarters in it when the school year starts to see how that works. Right now money is a motivating factor. I do like the one task every 15 minutes though, I will try that also. Thanks! Shelly the glass jar worked for both my sons. they were able to see the reward by picking a marble and placing it the jar, and when they misbehaved had to take a marble out. It seemed to work better than me doign it because they had to be accountable for the behavior. We have changed ours a little to chores and behavior equals money.....as they got older i gave them an allowance every week but i want to include good behavior as a chore...so they get a a week, is a week of good behavior...however for everyday they misbehave I charge them , on friday I give them whatever they earned that week in chores and then give them a bill for bad behavior and make them count it out from their allowance. It seems to help Cody alot cause he gets to see how much he could have earned and what he now has to hand back to me. I put it in a bad behavior jar and save it for a rainey day :-)

Hi Shelmo,

Your son sounds ALOT like mine.  We go through the same things day after day.  We have tried everything.  It has gotten alot better though with consistancy.  When he starts whining about picking up his toys, I just walk off and not say anything to him.  Of course I still hear him in his room throwing things around and fusing.  I do one task at a time too, as he never remembers more than one thing to do at a time. 

I started ignoring alot of the whining awhile back and it seemed to help.  Although my son cannot stand for me to ignore him, it really makes him angry and sometimes he loses it.  He has actually thrown his time out chair across the room and kicked a hole in the wall in his room, all because I would not give in and argue with him, I just ignored everything he said.  I wonder though, just how much to ignore.  I mean throwing chairs and kicking the wall is pretty extreme but not sure what to do in those situations.  He has such a bad temper it is unreal.

Also, I can relate to the later bedtimes too.  My husband and i both work until 5:30, so it is very hard to get him to bed early because we have to eat dinner, do homework, take bath, read him a story and have a little time to watch tv or play.  Also, during baseball and football season we have practise twice a week from 5:30 until 7 or 7:30.  We have never made him go to bed at 8 though (and don't think it is even possible for us), as it is still daylight out and he will wake up about 3 in the morning and not be able to go back to sleep if he goes to bed that early.  We aim at getting him in the bed at 9 so we can read him a quick story to unwind and he can be asleep by 9:30.  Every kid and household is different though, so you should just do what ever is best for your own situation. 

 

Thanks Meh for your insite. I have started to log his behaviors and then he takes it to his counselor so he can own up to what he has done and discuss what has happened. I just started this so I will let you all know how it goes. thanks for all your help.