Please Read!! | ADHD Information
Hey there everyone! This is my first post so I'll try to make it as
helpful as I can. I am writing this to all of the parents who are
worrying about having to deal with ADHD and their children. This is
also going out to those parents who are currently struggling with the
aforementioned issue. Well, I am 19 years old, have had ADHD since I
was about 3...and I'm loving my life! I can say that, without one
specific thing, my life would be a living hell. My mother's strength. I
was a REALLY bad child before I started taking my meds (Age 5). I would
do all of the usual stuff such as hitting, biting, and throwing fits
for no reason. I could go on but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking
about! My mom, a single parent, went through the nightmarish situations
and feelings of helplessness that you all are going through. And she
never gave up. She thought, "This is MY boy and I will do everything in
my power to make him a happy person." After all, medicine alone will
NOT properly treat an ADHD child. It takes a special kind of
parent(s). I am so lucky to have a mother who cared (and still cares!)
so much about my well-being, and also realized that I required a bit
more attention, patience, and discipline than other children. What I am
getting at is simple. Having dealt with ADHD for nearly 15 years, I
have gone through all of the highs and lows. However, I have also
remembered all of my experiences, how we got through them, and what
they all mean. That being said, if anyone wants a little first-hand
advice, please, feel free to ask. Even though I am still a teenager, I
can say that I have had one of the best lives on this planet and I want
as many people as possible to be able to feel the same way.
Evan thank you for sharing, you sound like a mature well adjusted person! Good for you and congrats to your Mom for raising a great child!
Thank you for sharing your information, I feel like such a faillure to Cody sometimes.....it is great to hear what good parenting can do. Kudos to your mom she sounds like a wonderful angel and you are very blessed to have each other :-) I hope one day my son will have some wonderful things to say about me :-)
Evan, Your message was so uplifting, Thank you! I have a 8 year old little boy with ADHD diagosed at age 5. At times I feel like such a bad mother, mainly because he tells me alot that I am mean and I should get the worst mother award. When he is on his meds he is a better child but at night or in the am just wakeing up he can be so angry and not a nice person. My dream for my child is to just be happy! I know I have a long way to go with him, but I so hope he realizes like you did how hard it is to be his parents. Living for someday.
Shelly Shelmo08210-
I know exactly what you are going through. I used to scream at my mom. I would say things like, "I hate you, I never loved you, and that you are a horrible mom." The hardest part of this is the fact that you are going to have to realize that that IS NOT your son talking! You have to stay strong and treat him like a normal child. What I mean when I say this is that, when he does something bad, you gotta let him know that you are in charge. When he sees this, the verbal rage will probably start to flow. The key is to not let it affect you in the slightest bit. When he doesn't get the usual reaction anymore, new things may happen. They might be good, or they might be bad. Let me know how it goes. There's always a solution.
dcarsen-
Stop right there! If you think that you are a failure, even just sometimes, you are telling yourself to give up on Cody. I know that's not what you want to do at all. Cody is at the age where he needs all of the support that he can get. One thing that really strengthened my relationship with my mom was a rewards system. Have you tried this? If you have, you're going to try it again. The key is to praise him on even the slightest accomplishment. Even if you don't get a respond right away, IT'S WORKING, BELIEVE ME! You must let him know that he will be rewarded for good things, like using good manners, eating all of his food, or being patient for long periods of time. Especially for being patient for long periods of time! On the other side, though, he must know that there are consequences for misbehaving, and that you will not hesitate a second to lay down the law. These things take time, but when he is old enough to look back at what you have done for him, he will smile.
Sincerely,
Evan
Shelly-
I kinda figured that you either knew of or have tried what I had said. I totally agree with you, it is WAY easier said than done. It's just that a lot of parents give up on that specific method because they don't notice any visible results, which is completely understandable and common in this situation. It does not have anything to do with how much effort is being put forth or anything like that. It is quite the opposite. A good deal of parents will start to think that it might not be working, but they keep going and going, giving it countless "second chances." After awhile with no promising changes, they tend to doubt the success of what they are trying to do. Again, totally understandable. Cracking an ADHD child can be tougher than cracking a diamond! One of the things that my mom used that really helped was a journal. She kept a day-by-day log of her actions and my life. They were only a few little bullet points, but she was able to record what methods worked and under what conditions they worked. You should give it a try...If you haven't already! You don't have to write a novel, just jot down the important stuff, like eating habits, sleeping habits, and any other regular activities. I will try to find my mom's notebook and see if it can help us out a bit.
Sincerely,
Evan
thatsa great 2 hear evan and i 2 hope when my son is older he can think like that i am pretty strong and we have good days and bad days but i will always be there 4 him.you are a smart boy and you have lived it.good on you for sharing your words.
Evan, I know all the stuff you have said, but it is so much easier said then done. Everyday I try harder. Hey, have you ever thought of being a councelor? I think you would be great at it!
~Shelly~ Evan
THANKS!!! cos i ALMOST gave up today!!!! Yes, it was only for a few
moments, but after those moments I thought to myself, "Would I really give
up on my son?" What a scary thought.
I have come to realize that when he is hateful to me (which is not often) it is
NOT HIM!!! It is always when his meds are wearing off. He usually tells me or
writes me a note telling me how sorry he is. What a sweetheart!!! How could I
every give up on him? Hopefully, I never do.. but he really wears me out!!!!!!
(He just turned 8... we've got a ways to go!)Evan, thanks for sharing. This is nice to hear.