a positive update | ADHD Information
Well, I was so positive but the crap is starting again.
My son is just dragging his feet with this project and he already got into a fight with my husband about it. He was on the computer and my husband told him to work on his project. My son said he did but my husband doesn't think he spent that much time on it.
Then my husband told him to start cleaning his room and my son just definatly said NO.
This is the same crap we get all year - I don't care if it is anxiety, ADD or just P.I.A (Pain in the A__ syndrome). I can't go through another year like this.
I need to make an apt. with this Dr. after my son's apt. and just have him tell me how to deal with this.
I think I made a big mistake last year with my over advocating. I should have let my son fail 7th grade and he would have seen the consequences. Now, if he fails 8th grade, he'll stay back, and all his friends will move on.
I can't get into that overadvocating thing again.
Just venting.
[QUOTE=rswf]
Diane V - this shifting responsibility is the hardest thing for me.
My son keeps insisting he doesn't have ADD. I don't push it. The Dr. said definately anxiety but he didn't know if he needed to treat it yet. Well, wait till school starts.
My son said something intersting yest. He has a friend that is having some emotional problems. I know the son is seeing a therapist but my son doesn't know this and I am keeping it confidential because that is how the mother wants it. His friend was having stomach issues and serious homesick problems at overnight camp.
My son said that he tried to explain to his friend that the mind can cause phsyical symptoms. HMMM - I wonder where he heard that? Maybe he discussed his anxiety symptoms with the new Dr.
So far, I have been "gently" reminding my son that the Dr. told him this was the week that he had to do things. I asked my son what the plan was and he told me it was confidential.
I have noticed that since he has been seeing the Dr., he is easier to manage. When I discipline him, he doesn't rage and actually is starting to listen. I can see my son trying to get along better.
Obviously, the Dr. knows my son will fall into the same pattern, but I like how he is letting my son do it his way first. Still, I have a big family get together on September 9 and I told my son that if his room was not cleaned on September 7, I'll be in there September 8.
I think you all know who will end up cleaning the room.
[/QUOTE]
This psych sounds smart--I'm glad you found him. What it seems to me he's doing is cutting down the power struggle between the family members so your son will make better decisions. Good idea!
Glad to hear some good news
Diane V - this shifting responsibility is the hardest thing for me.
My son keeps insisting he doesn't have ADD. I don't push it. The Dr. said definately anxiety but he didn't know if he needed to treat it yet. Well, wait till school starts.
My son said something intersting yest. He has a friend that is having some emotional problems. I know the son is seeing a therapist but my son doesn't know this and I am keeping it confidential because that is how the mother wants it. His friend was having stomach issues and serious homesick problems at overnight camp.
My son said that he tried to explain to his friend that the mind can cause phsyical symptoms. HMMM - I wonder where he heard that? 
Maybe he discussed his anxiety symptoms with the new Dr.
So far, I have been "gently" reminding my son that the Dr. told him this was the week that he had to do things. I asked my son what the plan was and he told me it was confidential.
I have noticed that since he has been seeing the Dr., he is easier to manage. When I discipline him, he doesn't rage and actually is starting to listen. I can see my son trying to get along better.
Obviously, the Dr. knows my son will fall into the same pattern, but I like how he is letting my son do it his way first. Still, I have a big family get together on September 9 and I told my son that if his room was not cleaned on September 7, I'll be in there September 8.
I think you all know who will end up cleaning the room.
Diane V:
Will you explain a bit about a neurophsyc eval? Was it done on or off meds?Wonderful! Sounds like you are 'good to go' when school starts.
jeanijo, the eval was done medicated as my daughter takes Desipramine not a stimulants, so her meds are 24 hours. I am still waiting for the report.
rswf, me too on the responsibility piece. I am taking everything one little piece at a time. This summer we did helping with the dogs and dishwasher and her room and the whole showering nightmare we sued to have. Made GREAT progress (but no school). This year my goal is homework. I will use something similar to the marble system, but I am using quarters. Every day she brings all papers home, a quarter or so mnay quarters. Every day all homework completed and returned, no issues, quarter, then each time something is forgotten she gives a quarter back. She can earn money this way and my goal is get her doing it by habit. I will also have a set schedule of homework time per day depending on what else we have to do. No debates, if 4:00-5:00 is homework time, that is when it is. I will then allow her to "buy things", like cash in for dollars, or buy an extra half hour up in evening, or some video game time on a week night. I will also ask each of her teachers to contirbute a homework pass that she can buy. I havent figured out the values yet, but will work on that this week.
Not sure if it'll work, but I think it'll help, money talks with teens!
I am so glad you found a dr he likes. I hope all continues to go well for you and your son.
Tina
Hi All. I haven't posted much this summer because there wasn't much to say.
I just wanted to update everyone who was so kind to give me advice and help me through the difficult times.
My son likes his new psychiatrist. I have not been taking him because the Dr. told me that we have to shift the responsibility of school back to my son. I am having trouble not being the overprotective mother, so I'm letting my husband go.
I also feel that since my son is not raging and fighting and saying there is nothing wrong with him, deep down he knows he needs help and wants it.
When I did last speak with the therapist, he did say my son definately has anxiety but he doesn' know if it needs to be treated yet. He was not that definate on the ADD innatentive because the original diagnosis was based on the BASC rating and he was not that thrilled with that test.
The next apt. is 9/11 and I'll take him. My son will be two weeks into school and already a project will be due. My son told the Dr. he is going to get organized (I have heard this before). The Dr. told him this was the week to do it since we are going on vacation and then school starts.
I'm so happy because when school starts and all the anxiety and ADD symptoms and raging behaviors start, we now have a Dr. that my son likes.
Over the summer, he has acted like a typical teenager. He's still messy - his room makes Oscar Madison's look clean. He's a little easier to control though, because the school anxiety is not there. We did have one anxiety incidence - he was extra moody, started picking fights and declared, he's giving up his trumpet. We were discussing during the week the summer reading project that he has yet to start, plus he had told the Dr. he was working on a paln, that we didn't see any evidence of. This may have triggered it. My son always gives up the trumpet under stress. Ofcourse, my son is a gifted musician and the band depends on him. Somehow he got over it.
I am still having a hard time scaling back. I just can't help it - who wants to see their child sink? But, the Dr. said to me, if after the first semester, my sons plan just doesn't seem to be working, his grades are still bad and his anxiety is symptoms are there, we can now present this to him and come up with treatment.
I just had to post because even though I know I'm in for a rough ride still, I feel hopefull that this is the Dr. to help.
that is great!!!! it is always good to hear that you have someone on your side and willing to help...keep us posted
great news rswf. We've also had a pretty good summer. As you said, no school stress though. We too are going on vacation then school starts. We had a new neurospych eval today and will have the report when we get back from vacation. Then we write this years IEP! Shall be interesting.
I also am shifitng a lot of my daughters school repsonsibility to her this year, we'll have to compare notes .