at our wits end........ | ADHD Information

Maybe he is entering puberty...can someone please give me advice . my son has been on strattera since june . he 16 in oct. on 60mgs strattera .last 3 wks have been a living hell.he has turned into a horrible nasty vindictive person ..sorry fr t harsh literacy butthis is exactly whats happening. my husband caught him red handed taking money out of my handbagthurs eve,. we told him how disgusted we wre and told him he was grounded fr t wk end. awhich didn go down well with him as there is a festival in our town this wkend,he got through his groundin all dAY FRI UNTIL LAST NIGHT HR PLEADED WIT ME T GO OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS . we didnt give in and he threw a wobbly . threatened to beat the crap out of me ,told my husband to @@@@@ ff and more hours of verbal abuse.and this went on all last night and tis morn.  we tried hard not to re act but some things jus cant be ignored. anyway he walked out of t house 2day .and my 12 year old son told me he was in a friends party ,.hubby went up t t house and got him,.came home told me wat a bitch i was hated my guts . hubby then said @if u dont want t obey t rules of this house u no where t go. with that my son headed off. its 10 now here in ireland. he s usually in around ha;f 10 latest . we are disgusted wit him. im crying all evening .also we are going on a fami9ly holiday this tuesday to spain. which i now am dreading .. what am i going to do .i am tearin the hair out of my head with worry ....  Hi

You sound like your really going through it, you have my total sympathie as I have been going through something similar this week with my son, only difference is that he's younger so thankfully doesn't have the strenght of an agry 16 yr old.
I take it he's finished school now, is he doing any sort of work?
It may help to give him a bit of structure to his day, which if he hasn't got it through school he probably needs.
Have you got anyone that he could stay with?
Tell him that unless his behaviour dramatically improves you'll go on holiday with out him.  Unless he doesn't want to go, this should make him at least stop and think.
Is he actually taking his meds? do you watch him take it, he may be at the age where he thinks he can do with out them.
If he is taking them, I think you need to talk to his doctor and get his tablets changed or adjust the dose.
I wish I could actually do something to help, we're only in England, but still such a long way away,
I hope the situation improves and that he does come back tonigh, he may stay at a mates to prove a point, its got to be hard to ground a 16yr old.
I hope your holiday goes well, you may find that taken out of his normal surroundings with his mates and all his things may actually help, and the sunshine will certainly help all of you, it really has been a crap summer!!!
Has his weight increased since you started the 60 mg? Too low of a dose = over-emotional behavior. It's a very weight sensitve med.

Hi: when I read your post I just had to give you something on our experience with Strattera.

My son was on it for about 6 months on an effort to see whether it helped his concentration. I was told he could not take stimulants because he had sporadic tics . So we really gave a good try to strattera; my son was upset all day long, he came from school and was throwing everything and resisted himself to follow routine. I was all frustrated thinking I was such  a terrible mother who could not manage my kid. The doc insisted this was our only choice, so I also tried the fish oil thing that didn't work either. I took him off Strattera and took him to the doc basically demanding him we needed to try something different. He was convinced when he saw my child at that appointment and he decided we should give a try to a stimulant. He did much better in regard to mood; he came happy from school and was able to adjust to routine easier. It hasn't been like glory with Concerta, but Strattera definitely altered his mood. As for the tics, I have noticed very mild ones after about five or six months, but nothing to bother or to stop the med.

I really suggest you talk to the doc about trying another med. According to what you say, I think Strattera is not good for your son.

ya unfortunately he had this behaviour before june as well on t ritalin. thats why we al thought it best t change meds. he was suspended from school 2 times last yr and constant notes home. but he has been like this fr t last 2 or so years . have sent him fr private counselling ,doing everything we can to help,he manipulates t counsellers and says everythings fine,oh it just seems to go on and on Boy, do I know how you feel. Our son, who is now 14 1/2 did not do well
on
Strattera either. He had tics, was impulsive, verb ally abusive and he too,
not only took money from me, but shoplifted twice.

If I were you I would call the doctor immediately and describe your son's
behavior. A change in medication may be indicated. Our son was
eventually
put on Focalin and has done remarkably well.

Best of luck to you.

Oh, one last thing, from talking to other parents, I know that the anxiety
of
returning to school can bring out some nasty behavior. This could be a
contributing factor for your son, especially if school is stressful for him.

P. S. We were in Ireland in July and loved it, especially the Dingle Coast.
The people were very warm and friendly. Lucky that you have national
healthcare.keelime39313.3876736111

Hi, Shar 4711 

I can relate to your distress; I have a 16yo son, in recent years determined from eval at school to be ADHD, inattentive type, has tried 2 meds prescribed by pediatrician, most recent being Adderall XR; that med seemed to work for 6 weeks this summer, then started to have EXTREME reactions to stress, i.e., ranting rages, losing control, foul language, and pounding furniture with his fists.  His doc is not sure if this is true reaction (because son does have anger issues prior to this med but not so extreme) so, son's doc, as well as other people on this board have suggested to seek opinion of a psychiatrist, which will be our next step.

Others here have good suggestions with which I agree (and you may already know and use) including the encouraging him to establish/continue a routine, setting up/continuing with a structured environment, getting right back with the doc about the med, etc., and having support in the school environment. 

Personally, in the midst of the difficulties, I do see that you have a plus in the way that you have a significant other, who is supportive and follows through with you in setting limits and rules for your son; I am lucky in this way, also; although, I must admit it has taken a mutual commitment with no less a trial-and-error process to be able to redirect and our son get back on track in school and at home (many times) over his 16 years. 

As far as grounding a 16yo:  I have heard opinions from people I know, kids and adults alike, where they feel it is too difficult/not appropriate to "ground" a teenager; almost like they are "too old" or won't listen.  Well, when my son breaks the rules, even though he protests and pushes our buttons, we put restrictions in place and most of the time - I am being honest - we follow through on the restrictions. 

Lately, when he tells me he is too old to be grounded, I tell him that every age group has rules to follow with consequences when the rules are broken, no matter how old one is, and then give him examples, one of which is in the workplace, if I defy my boss or don't show up for work/don't follow through on my job, etc., that soon enough I will experience "punishment" and consequences (and it doesn't matter if I am a 40+ yo person)!  I give him other examples, too, which, likely, he really does not need, since he is intelligent and can look around and see what happens in the world, but it makes me feel better to clarify this to him - that is, that he is not beyond discipline "just because" he is a certain age.

Best of luck to you and your family and hang in there!  A lot of us can empathize!

 That is also a possibility notellin.

Our experience was that my son became depressed, wanted to kill himself at 8 yrs old. We stopped the meds. immediately. He has never said that since, nor does he remember it.

I too would be crying all day if this were my son.

Call the doctor, immediately.

I would also try another med. Something is very wrong.

Did he act like this before June?

BETHANN39312.8966550926hi all thanks fr al the very good advice . i didnt think about the anxiety he might have about goin bak t school. this would prob be true. we had a good talk and argument (lol)with him today . he still wouldn give in . an hour later he came bak down and apologised . we are al beathing normally again am going to re iterate everything to t doc tom though . by the way is focalin a stimulant?or vyvanse?From my own personal experience when I was 16 years old, this behavior shouldn't be considered a result of ADHD or improper medication. It's just normal for a 16 year old boy to push his limits, fight with his parents, and get into some kind of trouble. I did that too when I was 14-16 years old (maybe it was my raging hormones?) Now that I'm 46, I'm embarrassed by my teenage behavior and of course have apologized to my parents many times over the years.

Grounding didn't work for me. When I was told not to leave the house, I threatened to run away. Most days I just left anyway and didn't come back til late in the evening. My dad always said he'd change the locks, but never did. Luckily, my parents always knew where to find me, at my best friend's house.

Although my parents did not do this when I was 16, I think professional counseling would have helped me a lot. I wish my parents would have led me in that direction, but they couldn't afford it.

With all that being said, I also agree with the others who have advised you to get him re-evaluated with his doctor. This could be a result of medication. At least you should check it out.The teen years are always the hardest but stay firm  and consistant.  Do you have a psychologist you see for advice?    I would tell him if  he even lays one hand  on you you will  call the police and do press charges to show him he cannot threaten you or intimidate you.  It sounds like more than ADHD like a little Oppositional Defiant Disorder.   I do not know if they have this book where you live but I found it to be a good resource (only my kid is only 7 1/2).

    "The Defiant Child A parent's guide to Oppositonal  Defiant Disorder"   Written by DR. Douglas A. Riley.  It had some good helpful hints to handling the out of control teen.  Good luck Jill