can anyone give any help i am at loss of what to do with him  he is 13 years old he fights at school with me and brothers and sister he hurts the and me everyday he sees 3 differant doctors and just yesterday he burnt himself on the arm and says that he cannot remmeber doing it! can anybody HELP me

Do you think he is going through puberty?? Once puberty begins, they need to be reevaluated and the medication needs to be revisited - basically you have to start over!

How long has this been going on????

Is he taking any meds for adhd? when is the last time he was evaluated?

ANy chance of bipolar? I bet the puberty thing is cetainly getting in the way!

    thank you for getting back to me yes he is meds has been since he was 5 year old they have changed his meds three time he was last reviewed 4months ago and they have no anwsers for they are all at a loss   i was first told that he had adhd when i took him to royal far west in manly ,sydney,when he was five years old . could you tell me a bit more about this bipolar ? he has already gone though  puberty at 11 years of age.so any more help that any one could give would be great thanks

well self harm is over my head

but im just curious

has there been any changes in his routine.

is his world gogogo with little time in between routine places

hmmm sorry im not typing that out as clearly as i thought about it.

first  like  BETHANN suggested   re evaulate his treatment and get a counselor involved to find out  whats going on emotionally.

but my laymens advice  is look at his   daily structure .

if its chaotic or to rushed    that can bring on stress which can make self harm triggers  more sensitve.

during times like this where his behavior keeps reoccuring is there a way to slow down his daily pace  so that he cane de escalte his stress that his daily routine can build up till he  acts out / bursts emotionally.

dont get me wrong    i strongly suggest professional involment with him in a one to one  with a doctor's treatment plan.

but there are others ways that we as parents can help them over thier hurdles sometimes by simplifing thier  lives   and being thier after school emotional watch dog. and not just when thier making poor choices.   managing the stress in thier lives  can be as effective as meds.  

i know i know    its a difficult balancing act  

challenge them too much  and they  get low esteem   not enough and they fall behind.     not to mention  relationship issues at this age can be seem bigger than life.

so get a counselor in there to go where we as parents cant.  and with all that attention  and support he may feel more confident to be open with you too about "how was school today" conversations  which is healthy and  easier to spot days  where there is something emotionally difficult  and days that are not.  

         thank you for getting back to me my son is seeing two councellors at school they do keep me informed about whats going on ,they cannot find out whats going because he will not tell them any thing of what is wrong or what he is having problems with !!!! he bashes his brothers and sister and myself as i am a single mum which is hard enough all my kids are all treated the same and get every that need and if i can afford it what they want aswell  .one doctor cannt just treat him he sees one doctor and two specialists (one in armidale and sydney) and they still dont know what is going on with him  

    also his brothers will be watching a movie or just watching tv and he will just walk up and just kick ,hit jump or stand on them for no reason at all and then wants me to smack the other boys when they go off at him ! so someone please help me with this 

My heart goes out to you. My 11 year entered into puberty this year and the aggressive behavior started too. He wasn't sleeping or eating well. We just changed his meds to Vyvanse, which might not be available down under. The meds improved my son's eating,sleeping and the aggressive behavoir.

Try looking at his sleeping and eating, that could be contributing to his aggressive behavior. It might help to improve those.  I know that I am a bear when I don't sleep well. Doctors won't admit it but diet does play a significant role in these children's life. If he doesn't eat well, try getting him on some vitamins and supplements.

My son had problems at school because of impulse control (the lack of it). He was picked on by the more aggressive boys that knew what buttons to push to send him into a rage.  A 13 year old boy might not want to share that he is being bullied with anyone, he might think it is his fault or that he should be able to prevent it.  Does he have an uncle or other male figure that he can just do things with? That might be the way to get him to talk about things.

I don't think puberty is a short term thing. I think it is something that takes a few years to complete, it could be a contributing factor.

Bipolar used to be called Manic Depressant. Type in Bipolar into a search engine and you will have tons of information.

Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

     thanks for all your help i know its hard for all my kids not having a father figure in their life but there is only so much i can do by myself all there uncles live in the northen territory and bundaberg and they have enough problems of their own without me dumping all this on them aswell . does anyone know anything about "ODD" if anyone can help please let me know , thanks  

If you can, google bipolar. It is a form of depression that goes from happy to sad to angry. Most ADHD'ers have co-existing diagnosis - it could be anxiety, bipolar, etc.

You need to be evaluated for bipolar and if he has it, adhd meds will not help him. They make the bipolar worse. First they need to treat the bipolar then yu can go back and treat the adhd, successful!

But first and foremost, you need to find out exactly what is going on. He definetly needs structure, a routine, etc.

Is there any reason why he may have changed? Did something happen that he is not telling anyone, or do you think it is more in the way of a diagnosis?

What do the professionals think? How about school - do the teachers know when it all began??

    can anyone give any help i am at loss of what to do with him  he is 13 years old he fights at school with me and brothers and sister he hurts the and me everyday he sees 3 differant doctors and just yesterday he burnt himself on the arm and says that he cannot remmeber doing it! can anybody HELP me

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i think it's who he is hanging out with. the people that he's hanging around are probably doing this burning of the arm. It's quite popular in places. Like the cutting, but it's burning. from what i've seen this can get really bad. he needs physicological help. Someone is going to end up hurt badly if not already. Good luck with this.

If these behaviors are continuing WITH meds, I would STOP the meds because they honestly aren't doing much.

Have you thought of placing him in a hospital where a team of doctors couold observe and evaluation him? It is for his safety.

Gloria,

Your son may need to go to an Endocrinologist and have his adrenal gland checked. My friends's son was at the max doses of his meds when they checked his adrenal gland. His was overactive so the meds were used up almost as they entered his body. 

Bethann may have the right idea, he may need to be hospitalized for observation. In a controlled environment, the doctors will be able to see what you are telling them. It isn't a easy decision and your son will hate you for a while but he will get over that.  My brother forgave my parents for having him hospitalized when he was deeply depressed.

This may be a wild straw, but do you think he may have been abused by someone?  That would be something he wouldn't talk about and could explain this behaviour.

A couple of questions for you.  You say he told you he did not remember burning his arm, so did you actually see him do it?  if you did, did he seem any different to you?  And what about the times when he hurts his siblings?

Also, does he play any sports?

Gloria,

How are things going with your son? I hope it has improved. Can you give us an update?

Reta