Just need to get it out | ADHD Information

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I have an idea of how you must feel.  I just posted something very similar.  Aside from the cancer, I am in a similar situation.  I also stay home, and my 6 yr old daughter is driving me crazy!  She is not on meds right now. I can feel my anger toward her as soon as she enters the room.  She talks excessivley and interupts all of the time.  She talks, plays, sleeps very loud.  We are constantly telling her to lower her voice and stop interupting.  My husband comes home from work and is at the same point as I am after a whole day in 5 minutes.  We are so stressed out and don't know how to deal with this.

Every night I go look at her when she is sleeping and feel so guilty on how I treated her throughout the day.  It starts all over again the next day.

I guess we shouldn't be so hard on ourselves, we are only human! 

Take care, Amber
My DD hasnt been on meds since Friday. We are about to make the switch to Strattera (from Daytrana), and the pharmacy hasnt gotten in the lower dose yet. It is so frustrating and disheartening to me. I feel like a terrible mother, because lately I cannot stand to be around my own child. I tell myself its the med withdrawal, and its the ADHD but quite honestly as soon as she opens her mouth I just feel so much anger and frustration towards her. I cannot function with her like this. I cant even go to the grocery store today because she is literally bouncing off the walls, drooling, screeching, jabbering and making her little brother cry too. I am a stay at home mom and when my fiance gets home at night he is frustrated within 5 minutes, then we get into it because I tell him he hasnt dealt with it all day, and we start to argue. We never argue.

I know its because she isnt on any meds right now, but what is also disheartening is I like to think she can function without the meds and then when we go off of them for whatever reason I realize how much she cant. I am only 26 years old and under treatment for bone cancer in my face that was discovered two years ago and am facing my next major surgery here in Sept and this med switch is just really starting to get to me. No one wants to be around her when she is wild like this, and I wont be able to walk for a month (I am having bone taken from both my hips and grafted into my jaw) and I am just sick to think how she will act at my parents house when they have her. No one can handle her but me, and even lately I feel I cant. My life feels so out of control.

Then there's the fact that I read Strattera takes a while to start working, how can she function in school like this, it starts next week. I feel like a failure, a failure as a parent, and a failure to my daughter.

Tina

Strattera does take 4-6 weeks after reaching the target dose to see results. Why not  use the Daytrana while ramping the Strat?

I am curious as to why the Psych would stop the Daytrana instead of waiting until the Start starts working, or at least get started. Alot of people, and kids use both start and a stim. How old is your child? What is her diagnosis? What is her target dose of Strat?

edbson39316.5475694444Why not put her back on the Daytrana? At least until the Strat starts working effectively?

Hey TinaMarie hang in there.  You're not a failure as a mother. If you were, you wouldn't care, and you do care.  Although I do relate to how you feel about that. I've just realised that I must have had diabetes when pregnant with my second son, and that's why he's got Beckwith Weidemann Syndrome. The doc never picked it up and now I find myself thinking I wish I never drank that or ate that, and it's my fault that he has to deal with this for the rest of his life ... but it's no good is it, the only way is forward. 

I think you feel that frustration towards your child because she's oppositional (I know I do with my oldest son, the ADHDer).  I know that the opposotion is his only way of expressing himself and that he does it more at home because it's the only place he feels safe enough to do it, but heck we moms are only human and have feelings too and would you take someone else being so oppositional all the time? I know I wouldn't so that's what proves to me I do love him even though often I don't like him.  I know I'm doing my very best for him and that's all I can do.

One supplement I've noticed recently making a difference with my son is Omega 3s with Evening Primrose Oil. You know they use Evening Primrose Oil for PMS and he does seem less argumentative and more cooperative lately.

I can also relate to the grandparent thing. It's a pity how grandparents let their relationships with their grandkids be spoiled because they can't handle the kids behaviour. I know my mom won't even take him for an afternoon lately.  But again, don't let anyone from our parents' generation tell you you are a failure and they did it better. Their kids (us) just didn't have the same challenges our kids have, and therefore they as parents didn't have the same challenges we have. It's a whole different ball game.

And remember about schools - they're there to serve US and our kids.  So if they know about the ADHD just explain to them about the change of meds and they'll have to put up with it for a few days. 

I'll say a prayer about your cancer, be strong.  I'm sure your fiance's supportive and would like to be more so if you would just tell him how.  Communication is so important.

I hope this helps.

Gutsy39318.2571527778

Hi Tina Marie,

Wanting to give my support at the moment - if I could, I'd come and take your daughter away and give you some much needed time out.  Is there anyone who is not judgemental who could do this?  I don;t have anyone at the moment but many years ago I had a neighbour who would just come and take him for the day and give me a break.  You are a wonderful mum who has a huge challenge.  The main thing is to take one step at a time and realise that you can only do so much. A bad parent is one who wouldn't find a treatment pathway.  I look at other families that it seems so simple - having two ADHD kids has taught me so much and made me a stronger person.  I am tired, feel defeated alot of the time but I am really trying to find answers.  This is a disability that has not been created by your parenting.  Image your child if you didn't do all the things that you do!

Take care

Thank you everyone. I have just been in tears lately. The getting her to take the pills is our newest challenge, last night she screamed and cried and kept saying "Don't kill me mom" over and over again to the point I expected CPS to come knocking on our door (we live in an apartment). She finally got it down but I swear if its not one thing its another. I know if she'd just calm down she could swallow it easier, but she gets herself so worked up, anything to throw a fit it seems. I just feel so tired.

My parents will take her but then my mom calls me and yells about how horrible she's being, to the point where its actually more stress because the whole time she is with them I worry about getting 'the phone call' know what I mean? She will be with them for about a month when I have my surgery and I am just so worried about it, I dont know how I can heal when I have to think of everyone else so much all the time that myself gets put on the back burner. It has been so long ago that I was just "Tina" now I am just a mom to an ADHD child and a two year old and some days I just want to hop on a plane and leave the kids with a can of spaghetti-o's, LOL.

Thanks everyone for the words of support during a hard time. I know we have all been here in some way shape and form and that does help me feel better though I wish none of us (or our kids) had to deal with this.

Tina
I know of a friend who had her son on a focalin xr and straterra combo. The
straterra helped combat some of the side effects the focalin caused. It can
be done together.I am just a little worried about having her on two different meds....I may ask the dr about that though, as it doesnt seem the Strattera is working yet (its only end of day 2) and I am worried about school next week. She cant seem to stop talking, moving.

Tina 

Tina Marie

Three Thoughts

1) Despite the transition to the new med, school will give her the structure and consistency that these kids so much need.  She will probably surprise you.

2) ADHD kids are like a good stock, they go up, then back down, but not as low as the previous low, then they go back up even higher.  Sounds like she is on a down cycle and is on her way up any moment.  You sound like a great, dedicated mom.  You will help her stock reach its next peak.

3) Try creating detailed, step-by-step instructions for the grandparents.  I think written helps.  I wish my son came with a "how to" manual.

Good luck.  My heart goes out to you.

Gosh, TinaMarie, I don't usually push alternatives, but I feel compelled in your case.

Please, please, order high EPA fish oil (at least 4:1 EPA/DHA ratio) today, and give her 1000 mg daily. I suggest the Eye-Q by Equazen.  They provided the product that showed positive results in the Oxford-Durham study. You can get liquid, strawberry chews or a smoothy drink. It's in the UK, but the shipping is not that bad, especially if you order a larger amount. This helps aggression and mood. It takes the edge off. It takes up to four months to see results but it is worth the wait. There are no side effects. Do it!

Give her magnesium starting with a dosage of 6X her body weight. I think you want magnesium oxide. The type of magesium is important. Chelated magnesium is also good. You can get a liquid form --- I think it's called Floridex at The Vitamin Shoppe. They are on the internet and have retail stores. This helps the hyperactivity big time. For my son, it worked right away. I give one tablet at night and one in the morning. It is a muscle relaxant and helps with sleep as well, if that is an issue.

I know you are waiting on the Strattera, but it's not going help all symptoms. I understand that it mainly helps with distractibility and focus rather than hyperactivity. You really should toss omega-3 and magnesium into the mix. You might want to check out the Alternatives board.

NoTellin39318.9019560185Thank you for your expert advice! I am going to check those out online. I have heard of the benefits of fish oils but as I thought they had to be swallowed (like a pill form) I havent gone further. Now I see they come in capsules you can open or chew and they dont taste like fish! Thanks so much!

Tina
Strattera can be combined with stimulants. But do so under the guidance of you doctor.Thank you everyone. It doesnt seem as if the strattera is working at all yet...we are on day 6 now. She took her first 25 mg capsule yestreday which was a bit bigger. We got it down eventually, it takes a lot of patience and time but she swallowed it. If she even sees that you are getting frustrated she loses it and her ability to swllow the pill so its trying on me emotionally but we are dealing with it. I dont want to combine it with any other meds yet until we see for sure that it is not working. She starts school tomorrow and I will be speaking with her teacher immediately about my concerns. As I will be having surgery her second/third week of school, it will be up to my DD's teacher and my parents (who she will be staying with for the month) to let me know if they think she is attentive enough or if there are any unacceptable side effects.

I'll jeep you posted, though I may be MIA for most of September.

Tina