help! 6yr old daughter talks excessively | ADHD Information

We also have a daughter who talks...and talks...and sings...and sings....and talks.....

First off, make sure you set aside plenty of time each night to let her talk to you and tell you anything she thinks is important.

 

In our house...

We have our "talk time" right before her bedtime story (when she is most calm). When the motor mouth gets going during the day and we ask her to quit talking we remind her she can tell us anything she wants to at bedtime, if she says "but it's really important" I tell her to write it down so she doesn't forget. We want her to know that we value what she has to say, but don't want to hear about anything and everything that pops into her mind the second she thinks it.

 

If we are having a family conversation and she won't stop talking we put our hand out in front of us to stay stop and that is her signal that she has been talking to long and only has a few seconds to finish what she was saying and stop talking. If that doesn't work and she keeps talking even though we've given her "the signal" we just interupt her (loudly) and say "your turn is done, it's someone elses turn to talk now"

about 1/2 the time she will stop talking and 1/2 the time she argues. When she argues we make her leave the room and tell her she can only rejoin us when she is ready to let others have a turn to talk. Either she will decide she wants to be a part of the conversation and come back with better behavior or she will find something else to do.

Somedays if she is just talking to "make noise" to annoy us and get attention we ignore it. Eventually when she realizes she isn't getting attention for it she finds something else to do.

When it gets to the point that she has just driven us crazy we tell her honestly "Honey, I love you dearly, but you are giving me a headache so if you can't be quiet you need to go to your room"

Hope some of that helps...it has for us.

I'm really quite surprised that most everyone here has suggested medication.  I would not suggest medication for eccessive talking. If it is causing her serious problems at school then maybe I would suggest it, but...Wow, I'm just so surprised by the response.

No one has any other suggestions?

I wish I could help but I don't have too much trouble with this. I do hope you get some better advice.

 

 

LonerGirl39317.4600694444

the only thing that i can offer is devert the energy to somethign else, reading, writing a story, keeping a journal and then have a special time where she can read what they have written...all of those thigs helped my older child who is not on meds and doesnt have ADHD.

He talks when he is bored and he goes on and on and on.....sometimes he doesnt even know he is talking the teacher walks over and places her hand on his back so he is aware he is babbling...so he is in the habit of carrying a book where ever he goes this week alone has read the last harry potter book, and gone with the wind....he is 10

It doesn't sound like you would be medicating her only because of the excessive talking.  The things you said bothered you also included impulsivity.  Then there is the fact that you are so stressed all the time.

I was having panic attacks until my son was medicated- then they "mysteriously" disappeared after he started meds and my stress levels dropped.

do you mean like

practicing the talking stick like in the girl scouts

 where only the person with the stick get to talk  and there is a time limit.

 

practicing active listening with herand then teaching active listening to her as a project.  i mean the silent  gestures     teach them     nodding , body language,

using hands to make gestures that you are listening .

constantly demand that she look into a persons face as she speaks so she can see thier active listening.

make sure her glasses if she wears them are not teeny tiny fashion specs

large wide glass so that she see's her whole environment.

 

do disruptive things yourself to get her attention when she's talking herself into a mad    like suddenly do jumping jacks   or a sudden redirection like give you a dollar to name all the presidents   

in my unprofessional laymen opinion    overtalking  and motor mouthing are attention seeking    behavior but not exactly   more like approval seeking.

so interupting a motormouth makes feel defied.

on my unit i have some loud violent motormouths   i sometimes step in near thier personal boundaries without words to interupt thier thoughts then back away as to lead them away from what thier jawing  on then i give them an unrelated  postive outcome like     help me  do something  -   them may i help you   - hey i got an idea   lets do something fun.

getting a motormouths atten is key  especial if they have a disorder that  make them want to criticize all the time.   thier seeking attention  but if you give it to them they take you a mile     so i give the approval and understanding   not of what thier saying  but what they are doing    "i glad  were doing this now  "  youre good at doing this im glad you the one doing this   so after the others take thier turn  i can come help you agian     especially if youre jawing on somebody you can always do this instead."

 

last but most important     yes maam  please thank you  i appreciate it   your welcome  thats great!   these simple words control whose talking and whose listening with out them an overtalker   just keeps throwing in more and more info seeking approval.

well i hope this helps       and try the sitting on hands  holding breath while listening

Medication is not the only answer.  When my son was small we did the diet thing and it worked really well to a point.  Then medication was the answer for us.  That is not to say supplements, exercise programs or any of the other things out there would not help your daughter.  Send her to school and watch her progress.  As a Year one teacher, kids with ADHD stick out a mile. If you find that she is coping with the academics and social areas, then the idea of treatment is not so important.  As school progresses and the demands become greater, it may be the time to look into alternative pathways.

Good luck!!!

PS My daughter's year one teacher told us that she loved to talk, but saw this as a wonderful gift "Maybe she'll be a journalist for a living!"  Guess what she want to do now - journalism or law!!!  Look at the strengths of the disorder can be a very comforting thing! 

What you are describing may well be an integral part of being ADHD. Among the symptoms described in the DSM as criteria for diagnosing ADHD are:

f) often talks excessively
g) often blurts out answers before questions have been completed
i) often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into
    conversations or games)

Generally speaking, when something comes to their mind they have to tell you "NOW".

What this means is that if your child is truly ADHD then you very likely can do little about this. Medication can diminish this but is is not likely to go way (sometimes it does, but most time not).

Your own ADHD may be a factor. One of the descriptive definitions of ADHD is a deficit in the ability to to resist responding to stimuli. You may have difficulty filtering your child's conversation.

Some ideas:

You can gently say that "Mom needs some "quite time" so go outside or in your room to play". Gently insist on this break but be aware that it may not last for long, so take what relief you can get. You can work on filtering the conversation so that it runs in the background. You can have hand signals for "quite"....it will work for a few seconds to a few minutes until the child cannot resist telling you something again. This can be extended with gentle practice.

Keep in mind that ADHD is a true disability. You have to learn to live with it just as if  you had a kid with visual problems or diabetes. It goes with the territory of raising children.

By the way, the question of diagnosing adhd is a real one here. Excessive talking is a symptom of ADHD but this alone is not diagnostic. Other issues can result in this behavior.

Good luck. Dizfriz

ADHD children can stretch the limits of patience at times but they can make can make such wonderful adults. Makes it all worthwhile.

my older son who doesnt have ADHD but talks when he is bored...and i mean talks and talks and talks...the school and I came up with a plan that when he starts talking to tell him to get his book, he is quite when reading...can you find something that she can do that lessens the talking?

I would like to thank all of you for your concern and advise. She was dx by the head psychiatrist at Children's hospital.  I also have ADHD so I am not surprised on the diagnosis. She has organizational, focusing and inability to complete tasks also, but those I can deal with. 

She will start grd 1 in September and we will see if she brings this behavior to school or if she just saves it all for home.
Thanks again.

Amber
hi my son does the same he has been diagonised with add but i think while some symptons are the same every child is different my boy is very impulsive and talks all the time and interupts it is hard 2 not get frustrated  i know but u would need 2 c a doctor if u r concerned my son has alot of other issues as well he is on meds 4 school.good luck hope u work it out.

My now 16 year old daughter was the same at that age.  She was constantly talking.  She was diagnosed at 11 when I was concerned about her inability to form friendships.  A great student and friendly co-operative child, I never suspected there was a problem.  Then we medicated her and her world changed.  She was able to make and keep friends as her social interactions improved.  She also was great at english, but her maths was only average.  After 6 months on meds, her maths improved by 3 1/2 years! So we may never had picked up her ADHD.  Now she tops all of her classes and is a ver mature and wonderful young lady.  We live in a small town with little educational choices so she lives away from home at boarding school 1 hour away and comes home each weekend.  Medication has helped slow down her thoughts enough to achieve great things. 

If you are having difficulties with her talking and you are her mother, just imagine how the kids are reacting to her. 

I am also curious as to the diagnosis, excessive talking does not mean ADHD I have a 6 yr old daughter that was diagnosed with ADHD earlier this year, I was also diagnosed at the same time.  I am on Concerta and my daughter is currently not on anything. I am finding her excessive talking, interupting and not listening very stressful. I am at the point now that I can barely talk to her with out yelling at her for something.  I feel like I am about to have a nervous breakdown every time she is around. She is a very nice, fun, loving girl and gets along with everyone. Every night I feel so guilty for the way I have treated her, but I don't know how to deal with all of this.  Everyone else seems to think her talking is funny, but I can't get a word out without being interupted every time I speak. 

Does anyone have any idea's for me besides listening to my ipod at a loud level! he he, but seriously, any ideas?
Thank you in advance!
Amber/stay at home mom Why is she not on meds? Meds often help with the incessant talking. I totally understand what you mean, my 10yo only stops talking when she is asleep, and sometimes not even then. I don't know that putting her on med's because she talks too much is a good enough reason.  Other than what I have said she is well behaved doesn't really have any other traits.  Do you know of people that have their kids on med's for this reason only? 
Thank you so much for responding.  I need all of the help I can get.

Amber

Please don't take this the wrong way but - you said she was dx with adhd - why?  If all she has is excessive talking then how did she get dx with adhd?  I am sorry if I missed something but does she have other problems too like, can't sit still, can't focus, can't complete tasks or stuff like that?  Just trying to figure out why she would be dx for just excessive talking. BTW, who dx her?  Was it her peds or a neuro?  Just curious, ToriNo help, only sympathy... I used to wish my son would talk more readily.
Then he had a classmate like your daughter and she fascinated me... for a
while. A few months later I started wondering, does she ever stop? Her
parents both looked exhausted all of the time. Maybe the people who find
your daughter funny would love to take her for a few hours? Days?

I can't believe this won't be a problem for her at school... interrupting and
not listening are definitely not OK, no matter how charming she is.